I woke up to the sound of my alarm cutting through my dream. Three hours of sleep just isn’t quite

enough. I flipped over and shut the damn thing up. I threw on a pair of cloths lying on the floor, threw my

hair up and left for school. I was too sick to my stomach to choke something down.

When I slammed my car door shut I looked up to see her. Ashley was buried in his arms. He was making her laugh. He was making my girl laugh. This thought alone made me want to puke, but I didn’t have anything in my stomach to throw up. So I picked up my back pack and headed the opposite way to my locker. I could barley keep my eyes open through the first 4 periods and by the time lunch came around I was starving. I sat at my usual table, with my usual lunch, with the same usual people, me. Just me, I’m the loser outcast who sits alone. I took out my sandwich and took a bite. Focusing my gaze at my food, I tried to avoid all eye contact with the world. You think you’d call me oblivious, but I wasn’t oblivious, I knew exactly what was going on. He had his hand on her thigh. She was smiling looking flawless as usual. People would stare at them in envy, and when they passed my table they’d silently thank god for making sure they weren’t like me. But they didn’t know the half. I got up to throw away my lunch, but when I looked up Ashley was standing above me…

“Hey,” God she’s so beautiful.

“Hey,” I replied. I’m just a mess.

“I haven’t really seen you around much,” her words were soft and kind, something I didn’t deserve. I deserved to be treated like shit. I deserve to be hurt.

“Yeah, I haven’t really been around much lately.

“Where have you been?” Was she actually interested?

“Sick,” I lied. She never liked the fact that I skipped school just cause my parents didn’t really give a flying fuck.

“I got your message you left on my phone the other day.”

“Sorry about that,” I apologized. “I shouldn’t have called.”

“I really think we should talk.” Did she mean it?

“I’d like..”

“Hey babe,” interrupted Aiden. He put his hands on her shoulders and whispered something into her ear. The image made me want to puke. Wait, no strike that it’s making me puke. I jolted up and ran to the bathroom. I could hear someone following behind me. Rushing into the stall I heaved out everything I’ve just eaten into the toilet. I could feel someones cool fingers rubbing circles on my back. This sent shivers down my spine. God I missed her.

“Shhh you’re ok,” Ashley soothed. I could feel the tears sliding down, the convulsions spreading through my body. I knew from the way she touched me she could feel it too.

“Ash, I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into the toilet.

“I know.” I don’t know how long the silence lasted, or how long she sat there rubbing my back, but the bell rang too soon.

“Come on,” she stated standing up and offering me her hand. I took it, and stood up. Walking out of the stall I looked in the mirror to see my eyes were red and puffy.

“I got to go to class,” Ashley stated walking to the door. “I’ll talk to you later,” she stated over her shoulder before leaving the room. Unable to comprehend anything that had just happened, I decided to take this as my cue to skip the rest of school. Besides there was no way I was going to go to class looking like I just got done crying for hours. Ashley was the only one who knows how weak I really am, and I plan on keeping it that way.