Ashley pov

I stood there in the hallway motionless just watching Spencer pull up in her car. She never thought I was watching her, but wile Aide hovered over me my gaze followed and retraced her every movement. My eyes scanned over her perfect body. Her beautiful blonde hair was thrown up into a pony tail. From the shadows clinging below her eyes, I’m guessing she didn’t get much sleep last night. Her cloths were becoming baggier. It hurt to see her hurting like this. I wanted to fix her pain and take it away, but I’m afraid.

“You alright babe?” Aiden asked taking a break from feeling me up. I really wasn’t in the mood today. He needs to get out of my personal space.

“Yeah, just tired,” I never once moved my gaze. He turned his head to see what I was staring at. I could tell he was trying to find something to say. He couldn’t make up his mind so he just kissed me on the cheek and said he had to go to class.

I had to get my girl back.

Through the first couple of hours the teachers just kept droning on. There words just came out blurred and mismatched in my head. It was actually giving me a migraine trying to juggle my thoughts and learn about the Quantum theory. I couldn’t help but replay the other day over and over again in my head, everything is should have said, everything I should have done. It all seemed so perfect, but I blew it. I can’t believe that in the end I’m the one that’s hurting her the worse. Unconsciously I was tapping my pen on the desk. The kid next to me looked annoyed. I wish Kyla would come back from Baltimore…

Lunch Aiden snaked his hand up my thigh, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to go to Spencer’s table and hold her. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be ok, but was it? A year ago Spencer moved here, a year ago she seemed so happy, a year ago when she smiled she meant it, and it lit up her blue eyes. If it were last year we’d be sitting at our table probably sitting closer than two friends should, feeling things we didn’t understand or care to admit at the time. Spencer’s parents were gone a lot I was always there to make up for there absence and if I wasn‘t Kyla was there. But she left right after prom. I don’t quite remember when she started cutting, but I know it was sometime after Aiden asked me to the prom, and the next morning I told her I lost my virginity to him. I could see it in her eyes that it broke her.

I just want everything to go back to a year ago.

She sits there all alone everyday never bothering to look up. If she did she’d see my brown orbs starring back into hers. She thinks I love Aiden and I do, but not like I love her. She doesn’t know it but I envy her bravery. I’m so afraid of losing my friends, Aiden, my reputation, and the little love I get from my mom anyways that I’m keeping her in the dark.

I decided right there and then that after school I’d start my plan to get Spencer back into my life anyway I could.