Have you ever had a thought, just a minor thought. But that thought turned into an infatuation? Ok, so infatuation is way too strong of word, but whatever the hell it is, it’s different. Or at least different than anything I’ve ever felt before. I can’t put my finger on it. It’s one of those feeling that no matter what word you try to describe it with, it never quite comes out the way you want it to…

Every time I walk down the halls, I steal glances when she goes to her locker. She doesn’t know I’m looking. I don’t know why I’m looking, and I sure as hell hope nobody else realizes I’m looking either. But it seems like no matter where I turn, she’s around every corner. How did I never notice this before? Am I just starting to see things?

I don’t quite understand it, hell I don’t even remotely understand it. All I know is that every day she’s connected to her ipod and her note pad. Never once leaving the silence of her mind, I wonder if she’s ever lonely…

I shouldn’t be thinking about it, I mean she’s just another face in this endless sea. What’s so special about her? Nothing, right?

When I went to Kyla’s Thursday, I didn’t see her. I even walked down the hallway to her room, but the door was all the way open. There was no one inside. Cold lifeless walls stared back at me, knowing that I shouldn’t even be there in the first place. I don’t even know why I was there, but in the back of my mind all I really wondered was where she went all the time.

Well, at least I had Kyla and Madison off my back for awhile, so now I could ditch Alex this weekend without getting the third degree. All I had to do was call him, make up an excuse, and head over to Kyla’s. By this point in time, it had become routine. Everything was. I knew exactly how to manage everybody in my life. For my mother, I had to pretend to be someone different than when I was with Madison or Kyla. But even around them, I had to different than around Alex. You’d think it would get confusing after awhile, but I was used to it by now. I was simply playing a part, and I was good at it.