Chapter One

Let me start off by saying that I don’t believe humans are perfect. I hate when people sit back and judge you for your mistakes as if they haven’t made any of their own. What I’m doing is wrong, sure. I never said that it was right. Yet, for some reason, the things that you shouldn’t be doing are always the things you end up doing. I’ve done this before, so I really have to keep it hidden. I could never explain this happening twice.

Does she deserve this? Of course not. She’s a…great person. Do I feel bad for commiting these deadly sins? You bet. But like I stated earlier, I cannot stop. My body and my mind are in different places. It would require all the engery within me to stop and I guess I just can’t resist temptation.

"You look so good, babe," I hear her whisper so low and I can smell the alcohol on her breath. Her small hand is running up my thigh and that feeling is racing through my body. My body is reacting, something I cant help. Sometimes when we’re doing it, I picture her face, but other times, I just focus on the woman at hand.

"I should go," I say, but don’t really mean and she knows it. Saying that becomes kind of like a habit. I think I just say it to make myself feel better. I see a smirk spread across her face and I know it’s because shes aware of my fakeness.

I hate that smile at times. And I hate how she thinks she’s so much better then my love because her hair is a little more blonde and her waist is a little slimmer and her breasts are a tiny bit larger.

She’s one of those model looking girls. You know, the ones that know they’re good looking and dont have any problem rubbing it in your face. I really dont like her all that much. She’s nothing but a good fuck. I wonder if she knows that.

"Where are you?"

She pulls me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"You look so…lost."

When I don’t respond she moves closer and gets in my face a little more. I can kind of understand her frusturation. Kinda. I still don’t open my mouth and let words out. She doesn’t want to hear it. She’s not in the mood to "share feelings." She rarely is.