All through the year I watched him as he played with her emotions. Of course I got a play by play of the action, and not matter how much I hated him, I was always there to pick up the pieces when he broke her. So many fucken pieces and let me tell you he did that quite frequently. He came and went pretending to be interested in a relationship and then pulling away. The truth was he actually had another girlfriend that he said he’d break up with for Spencer but he wasn’t going to, oh no. He was getting sex from his girlfriend. Spencer was just his make out buddy on the side. The thought alone made me sick. He fucken made me sick. The way he could treat my girl, the repulsive smirk on his face, it was enough to drive me insane. Half the time I couldn’t stomach any of it, so I’d try to stay the fuck away from it. I found people that I thought could replace Spencer in my life, but they didn’t. They didn’t fill the hole in my chest. The gap in our relationship just seemed to make the hole bigger. When I was hanging out with my other friends, the only place I really ever wanted to be was with Spencer. No matter how hard I ever tried, she was always on my mind. Her voice penetrated my senses, rendering me helpless to the pain of heartbreak. I realized then, that the only way I was ever really happy, was when I was with her. When she was gone I felt it dig into my chest like nails clawing into my skin. The pain etched itself into my heart, shattering it to pieces with every hit it seemed to take. God only knows it’s in too many pieces now to ever be whole again. She was the addiction I’d never recover from, so there I was every time he broke her, trying to put back together the pieces.

My parents were gone. Ok, so that’s nothing new. They’re absolutely never home. But this weekend was going to be special and different, or so I hoped. I raided the liquor cabinet and invited over Spencer, which is a given, and two people new people I had been hanging out with a lot recently, Leah and Katie. I had everything set up already. Girl Interupted was in the DVD player, cds were stacked next to the sterio, and most importantly, the alcohol was was overflowing.