It was 2:30 in the afternoon on a warm humid day in West Hollywood.
The temperature had been in the high 90's, with no sign of letting up. I
was sitting in room 23 on the second floor of the California Counseling
Center, across from one of the most beautiful women that I have ever
had the privilege of knowing. This mocha skinned beauty had my heart
racing a mile a minute. The air conditioning was on the fritz again,
this was the second straight week. I had been coming here weekly for
some time.Sitting here now with her was slow sweet torture.

She was wearing a white wife beater with a long flowered print skirt
and black sandals. Her arms and stomach muscles were very well
defined.I knew from the start that I could trust her with my most
intimate and darkest secrets.

Pouring out my heart and soul on a regular basis was very
comfortable for me.I guess it was the years of therapy.

There was never any fear of feeling awkward around her.
The communication which existed between us was better than I have had
with any other person, well except for my best friend Tim. I have never
had a crush on any other woman therapist before.
 

Never did I imagine when she took over for Lara that I would have these
feelings. There was never any indication from either of us that
alerted  the other to what I was feeling. I knew it was wrong but there is
just something about her that gets me right in the heart.

God, she had no idea that I wanted to touch her soft cheek bones and
feel her warm full lips brushing against mine. If I was to tell or act on
my feelings, I knew that our professional relationship would have to be
severed.I didn't want that to happen. Or did I? I did not like the
idea of having to start over again but it may be worth it.

At the age of 25, I moved here to West Hollywood from Vancouver and
met Tim. Tim was a year younger than me. I was a struggling web designer
who paid my bills by creating web sites for small
companies throughout West Hollywood. I designed the web home of The
Planet. The Planet was a cafe by day, then at night it became the
hottest place for lesbians to sing, dance and drink. I didn't know that
until Tim had taken me there one night to meet his gay friends, Shane
and Dana. Shane and I would become roommates. I wasn't gay myself but I
was not bothered by hanging out there at all. Vancouver had a
reputation for strip clubs both gay and straight and bars. I
was used to seeing that kind of stuff.Tim and I did fool around
from time to time, there was an attraction but in recent months because I was uninterested

Why you ask was I in therapy? Well one of the issues
I was trying to deal with was my confusion about my sexuality. I had
been with men my whole life but I felt that the sex as much as I liked
sex, wasn't fulfilling. I was left with an empty feeling inside myself
all those years. I had begun to question if I was gay, bi-sexual or just
bi-curious. I also happened to be watching and obsessing over a certain
show on cable called As The Lezzie's Turn. There was one time with
Tim at his apartment, we were fooling around but I felt nothing.I was
actually able to talk to him about my confusion which he took well at least in the beginning.

He even egged me on after my appointments.knowing I had a crush on Bette.

Our session had barely began when she spoke the words I had dreaded to hear from her lips.

"Tina I can't continue to see you as my client anymore" she said
looking at me with a forlorn expression on her face. "Why not Bette, I
thought we had a pretty good repore going on."

I said not expecting to hear those ten words which shattered my
very foundation. She sighed heavily clasping her long slender fingers
together with a expression of sadness but wanting to confess something to me.

Our eyes met and that's where I knew I was in love with her. I wasn't expecting for her to say.

"Tina I think I am in love with you" she said now fully smiling underneath her tears that she begun to shed outwardly.