Shane was washing the dinner dishes while Amy and Bette sat on the floor in the living room with the contents of Amy’s portfolio spread in front of them.
“These are very dark, Amy. This person is not who I see when I look at you.”
“I know. This is something that has to be partitioned off, you know? This is its place and I am really good at keeping it here, but it pretty much takes up all of the space, you know?”
Bette motioned Amy closer and wrapped her arms around her waist.
“That’s good,” she whispered. “These are very good. I actually think you could pull of a one-woman show with just this work, but I don’t think I think you should do it. I think you have to finish school.”
“Oh, I don’t know if I could get back in, I failed pretty spectacularly.”
“Well, I think I could help.”
“Oh, yeah. I guess you could. Oh, if you would do that for me I promise I would dazzle them this time. You wouldn’t have to worry I would let you down.”
“Oh, I know that, Amy. And I know I don’t have to worry about Shane, either.”
“No, you don’t. She’s worried about it, though.”
“Well, Shane’s kind of ashamed of her past.”
“Yeah, I know. God, we need to talk about so much. I would be the last person to judge anything she could possibly have done, she has no idea…”
“Did you show her this work?”
“No, I didn’t have a chance yet. God, I feel like we’re so behind! This is just so wild.”
“Well, I think I would like to try to go to bed now, but I would really like for you both to stay over, if that’s possible for you.”
“Actually that is a really good idea. Otherwise I will have to deal with Gaby banging on my window.”
“Oh, Amy, I am so sorry she had to happen to you. We all know her way better than we would like to.”
“Thanks. Me too”
“Ok, I am going to go tell Shane goodnight. The sheets on the bed in the guest bedroom are clean.”
Amy smiled nervously.
“I don’t know if I might not should sleep on the couch.”
“Well, you don’t have to decide that right now. The closet in the guest bedroom has extra linens if you need them.”
“Ok, thanks. And thanks for letting me be here tonight. I know you are going through a hard time.”
“Oh, Amy, you don’t know how good this has been for me. Good night”
“Good night, Bette. Sleep well if you can.”
“I’ll try”
Bette went to the kitchen and hugged Shane from behind. Shane turned around and put her arms around Bette.
“Ok, Shane, I am going to bed. I asked Amy if she could spend the night and she said yes. Is that ok with you? You can use the extra bedroom.”
“Won’t that be weird for you?”
“Don’t worry about me, worry about convincing that girl she doesn’t need to sleep on the couch.”
“She said that?” Shane looked concerned.
“Well, I don’t think that’s what she ultimately wants. But I do think you guys need to get some talking done before you officially decide. If what I saw in her work is any indication, there is a lot more going on there than you might think.”
“What was it like?”
“Just go let her show you, ok? Good night” Bette said, kissing Shane lightly on the lips and allowing herself to be embraced once more.
“Good night.”
Shane turned off the kitchen light and walked toward the living room, pausing to lean against the door frame and contemplate Amy’s profile as she gathere her artwork and began putting it back into her portfolio.
“Please let me see.”
Amy looked up at her and smiled.
“Ok. Come here.”
Shane crossed the room and sat on the floor behind Amy, wrapping her arms around her waist.
“This is my first self-portrait.”
She held up a large piece of illustration board upon which was depicted a large human heart painted in camouflage colors, with the tiny figure of a woman crouched in the left ventricle.
“Oh, my God.”
“Yeah. I was pretty into hiding back then. I was sleeping with …a person and she… was very…firm…no, very…fanatical..about…me talking to anyone or doing…anything.”
“Were you in love with her?’
“Oh, no….” Amy looked further down the stack of pictures.
“Here is my portait of her”
This painting was of a giant bloodshot eyeball, with the pupil painted to resemble a gunsight and the same tiny figure huddled at the bottom.
“How did you meet her?”
“I got arrested for soliciting when I was almost thirteen. And again when I was fifteen. And again when I was sixteen. And then I got busted for possession. Then I went away for a while..she worked at the place…she said it could be very easy for me or very hard…” Amy’s eyes took on a hardness that Shane had never seen in them, although she recognized the look from her mirror.
“That’s ok, Amy. I know this story very well. I just had no idea that you..I mean you seem to come from kind of a classy background.”
“Classy…yes. My family has money. My family also has about three generations of ..um..overly friendly uncles and stuff…That can make you act wierd, you know, later on..”
“Shh…it’s ok..I know that story, too.”
“So that’s why, when Bette said you were worried about your past..I just wanted to tell you not to. I have layers and layers of ***** just crusted all over my history. I would never judge anyone for what stuff like that can make you do, ok? Never. You know? Never.”
“I was worried. Especially after Gaby. I mean, she’s right about me. There has only been one person I have been with for more than one day. It has only been a few days since that..ended. I don’t really know what I am doing here.”
Amy turned around so that she was facing Shane with her arms around her neck, then wrapped her legs around Shane’s waist and pulled Shane’s head down to her lips. Amy kissed Shane almost ferociously, pushing her backwards onto the floor and stradding her, tossing her hair back impatiently as it fell across Shane’s face. Shane looked up at her in shock and saw that the delicate, waifish girl of the afternoon had completely disappeared, leaving in her place woman whose eyes flashed with desire and whose strength..would not allow Shane to roll her over onto her back and into the position Shane knew best. Amy’s tongue plunged into Shane’s mouth and Shane felt herself melt into the carpet as Amy’s fingers tugged gently at her nipples and fumbled with her belt until her fingers had found what they wanted, and began to do what they obviously loved to do, and Shane was gasping and clenching and Amy groaned into her ear..
“Come for me, baby, come for me, come..” And Shane sank her teeth into the strap of Amy’s tank top, buried her hands in Amy’s hair, sighed a long, gasping, rattling sigh and then let her head fall back. Amy stretched out full-length on top of Shane, finally allowing Shane’s tongue into her mouth and letting Shane roll her onto her side.
“No one has ever done that to me.”
“I know. It is what you are supposed to do, right?”
“yeah…wow…you are…really really good at that.”
“Well, I’ve worked hard…” Amy giggled, then shivered.
“Are you cold, baby?”
“I am cold…”
“Let’s go to the bedroom, then, ok…this isn’t finished by a long shot…”
“No?” Amy whispered as she offered Shane her lips.
“Oh, no, not even..” Shane took her hand as they tiptoed into the guest room.