CHAPTER SIX

I cant believe how excited I am. Ive been in and out of the bathroom for an hour now and I still dont feel like I look good enough. Alices bedroom floor is littered with garments that just havent made the grade. I want Bette to want me, to really, really want me. I stand infront of the mirror in a sheer black dress that cuts off at my chest and continues until above my kneese where it slits at the sides to reveal some leg. I look at my reflection in the mirror. A few days ago I looked like a mess. My face gaunt, my blue eyes darkened by the underlining bags. Now I seem to glow, Bettes always been able to do that to me.
You look great Alice tells me standing in the doorway.
You think its too much?
What? No way you look gorgeous. Heads are going to turn. Youre going to have Bette eating out of your hand I grin fixing my hair one last time.
I hope so I tell her tearing myself away from the mirror.
Tina you *****! Youre trying to get some! Alice squeals
I am not! I lie. Besides am I not allowed to get some from my wife?
Of course you are, just make sure she knows how lucky she is
I think she knows Alice
Moments later were in Alices car. Dana and Shane are in the back, and I know that their here to give me moral support. I wonder whether I need it? I dont feel the tension or the awkwardness anymore. I know what she did but I forgive her for it. I have to because the longer I hold onto it the more bitter Ill become. I dont want that life for us.
Feeling ok T? Shane asks in that effortlessly tranquil way that she always does.
Shes feeling more than ok Alice comments with a wink.
Is that so? Dana teases. I glare at all of them.
Ignore them T their just jealous because they havent had the chance to get any action. Alice is just dying to get her apartment back, isnt that right Dana? Dana blushes and Im surprised to find that so does Alice. Before I can ask them what thats supposed to mean weve reached the car park to Milk. Ive got butterflies that feel like birds in my stomach.
Ready? Alice asks, I nod smiling. Shane wraps a supportive arm around my shoulder while Alice and Dana walk through the club doors side by side.
Theres not too many people tonight, and Im grateful for it. I dont want to have to spend hours looking through a mob to get to Bette, only to find that I have to scream conversation at her.
Shes sat at the bar beside Kit and Ivan. Even the back of her makes goose bumps rise on my skin. The suit is once again absent and from what I can make out shes dressed in black trousers and a white backless top. The sight of her exposed skin makes me want to touch her. I remind myself, as we walk over to her, that Im in a public place and that Im supposed to be taking things slowly. She turns around to face me, smiling, grinning, my heart feels heavy in my chest and I just know that I must look like an idiot, a moron standing here with my jaw practically touching the floor. I just want to touch her.
You look beautiful She whispers gliding towards me.
Im not the only one She leans in to kiss my cheek but I give her my lips. If I didnt kiss her then Id have to drag her into the bathroom. It has been weeks. Everybody looks at me in shock but I just shrug it off.
Baby sister do not just let her stand there, buy your wife a drink Kit practically orders. God I missed Kit. Kit is always Kit no matter what the situation is. And you come give me a hug I except her invitation and hug her tightly. Kit doesnt just feel like Bettes sister.
Its been far too long I tell her.
She looks at Bette and then she looks at me Yeah it has She says. Bette hands me a glass of wine. I mouth a thank you before taking a sip.
Lets get a table Alice suggests walking over to one before anybody has a chance to choose otherwise. I walk slowly beside Bette our arms swinging uselessly by our sides. Bette takes my hands but shes so nervous that Ill pull away that she cant even look at me. I squeeze her hand reassuringly.
We sit down at a booth and it feels like old times. Shane wandering off in the distance with some young beauty, Alice and Dana practically glued to each other, Kit and Ivan dancing to the loud thumping music, Jenny and Marina gazing at each other intensely while they pretend not to be, and then Bette and I looking at each other like we need to make the most of it, like Bette thinks she has to make the most of it.
I took a few weeks off work Bette explains, my hand on her knee. I thought…I mean I wondered if maybe we could spend sometime together?
Id love that. Maybe we could go away somewhere I move closer to her, she breathes in and then she breathes out.
That would be great. Do you want another drink? She asks gesturing to my empty glass.
Sure She nods dipping her head shyly. I want to kiss Bette right now and I dont ever want to stop. I watch her fetching my drink. The way she moves, the way she smiles, the way she looks at me. Shes changed. Ive changed. We have both changed for the better. I want to go home with Bette. Ive been thinking about it for a while now. But its been like a mental struggle to decided whether or not I should. A part of me is saying that Im going too fast, that she still needs to grow, but then another part of me, a bigger part of me, is saying that Ive already waited too long, and that even if I waited years she wouldnt be able to grow unless I was there. We both need to grow together.
Here we go. Sorry I took so long Kit wouldnt let me go She places two wine glasses on the table.
She misses you I take a sip from the glass.
Actually she was giving me advice
Oh yeah?
Yeah. Baby sister do not ***** up this chance. Tina is a princess and you need to treat her like one. Shes right She says almost guiltily. I laugh at her imitation of Kit.
Ive been thinking She gulps and her face changes in a way that tells me shes expecting the worst. I want to come home. If thats ok with you Her mouth drops open.
You want to come home? I nod and she looks at me in awe. Really?
I really want to come home Bette She pulls me to her and kisses me instinctively. Her lips linger against mine, and I know Ive made the right decision.
T you dont know how happy this makes me She gushes.
Trust me Bette I do