As Bette stood there with Candace softly stroking her face she couldnt help but feel the warmth coming from her hand. She wanted so badly to pull her in and hold her close but she just couldnt do it. Candace was not Tina. She never would be. She could never give her the same gentle caresses that Tina could, the same gentle touch that would melt away all of her problems and fears. She could never be the person Bette held each night as they fell asleep only to look forward to seeing her face in the morning light.

I dont know what to do.

Bette could feel the tears of frustration and pain building up in her eyes but she was determined not to let Candace see her cry. Crying was a sign of weakness and Bette needed to be anything but weak around Candace. Candace moved her other hand to Bettes face and gently lifted her face until they were eye to eye.

You have to decide. You cant have it both ways.

Bette knew Candace was right. She could not continue to do this with Candace if she even hoped to get Tina back. She didnt know what had possessed her to go after Candace even though she said they could never see each other again. One last *****. One last kiss. One last feeling. Bette knew deep down that Candace was giving her a graceful way to leave her behind as she tried to rebuild her life with Tina.

Candace held Bettes face in her hand for a few more seconds before letting her hands fall to her sides. She took a step away from Bette and just looked at her. She didnt stare, she didnt try and read her thoughts. She just looked. Bette wanted to go back in time and erase the past week, but she knew better than to wish for the impossible. Standing here, looking into the eyes of the woman who she had undeniable feelings for was eating her alive. She contemplated what her options were and none of them sounded appealing.

She could continue this torture with Candace only to leave herself feeling more and more empty each time they saw each other. She could try a new relationship with Candace and see where it went, knowing that if she did this Tina would always be in her head whenever she kissed Candace or held her close. She could break it off completely with Candace and beg Tina for forgiveness, only to be completely shot down by Tina leaving her to continue her empty life. Bette just didnt know what to do.

Bette squared her shoulders as she looked at Candace. She thought about the possibility of them having a relationship, but somehow she just couldnt see the happy ending she once had with Tina. Suddenly Tinas face flashed in her head. It wasnt the Tina that had attacked her the last time they saw each other. Instead it was the Tina that Bette used to know. The Tina she had met for the first time in her gallery. The Tina who she fell in love with and married. The Tina who was supposed to be the mother of her child. The Tina who had stood by her side for seven years and who trusted her with everything she had. It was the Tina who was so strong and confident, and beautiful.

Bette felt herself near tears again but this time they were for all the right reasons. Bette knew once and for all what she had to do and it was going to take every muscle in her body to control herself. She looked at Candace once more and this time she didnt feel the heated lust running through her veins. Instead she felt sadness. Candace was just one more reminder of all that had gone wrong with Tina. It was as if Bette were seeing Candace through someone elses eyes. She could see clearly what had happened between them and while she didnt regret it, she knew it was over. Her facial expression must have changed because from the look in Candaces eyes she knew it was over too.

Im sorry.

Candace waived her hand as if to say, its okay. Bette smiled at Candace and she knew Candace understood. For the first time in months, Bette felt like she was completely at ease with herself. She finally felt right in her own skin, and she knew she would be able to move on. As fucked up as her life was right now she felt a familiar sense of control. Thats what Candace had been about. Control. Bette lost it and Candace provided it. But Bette managed to find it again and now she didnt need Candaces touch to feel it. It would be hard, but Bette knew she could finally walk away from Candace.

Words were not necessary to have the conversation they were having. Their eyes and their bodies said it all. Bette knew that Candace knew that this was really the last time. She was okay having Candace in her life, but not as a lover. As an employee or an acquaintance, but she doubted that she could ever be friends with Candace. Bette didnt know why she had been so weak around Candace before, but now she was the strong one. She could see it in the way Candace looked at her. It was a look that Bette knew well, like she was the most powerful person on the planet and those around her respected her enough to back off.

Bette stuck her hand out and Candace gripped her hand as they shook hands like two workers who had just finished a project. Bette wanted to laugh at the situation, but she held it in. She knew that Candace would chalk this up to another fling and somehow Bette didnt mind that. Bette knew that Candace was not the type to let her emotions get in the way of her clear thinking and even if she did have feelings for her, Bette was almost positive that Candace knew where her heart would always be.

Goodbye Candace.

Goodbye Bette.

With one last look, Bette turned around and headed for the door. As she unlocked the door she felt strange, like she was dreaming. She felt like she had been watching herself on some bad movie and now it was time for the inevitable cheesy ending. But this was no movie, it was real life. Bette sighed as she knew she had miles to go with Tina, but at least she was finally able to put Candace behind her and that was the first step. Bette didnt look back as she left Candace standing in her office and she felt a sense of satisfaction knowing that this time she was the one who was able to walk away.