Dana Fairbanks sat on the edge of a worn out mattress with her head in her hands and thought about the kind of person this experience has made her.

Having any one of her friends or fans find her out was the least of her concern for once; it was more about what she could live with. She crumbled up an empty carton and threw it on the dirty floor beneath her and lit another cigarette. She never smoked before but she did now, if for a moment, shed go through an entire pack out of sheer wicked anticipation of a desire she had so longed to tap. Many things always stood in the way of a road she always feared would lead to where she was now, addicted. Waiting for it to happen for the sole purpose of being set free and thats what she craved most out of her life, the complete emancipation of her will to stop the inevitable.

She inhaled a stream of smoke through her nose while lying on her back and stared blankly at the rusted out ceiling fan that spun slowly above her. Should she have dressed for the occasion? Probably. New birth requires a certain commitment in wardrobe but she lay in an oxford and jeans and didnt care. She didnt care that she was so early either, nor did she care that she shoved a wobbly chair up against the doorknob to the room of the hotel she was staying in because no matter what precautions she took; she knew it was going to happen regardless.

Her cell phone vibrated wildly on the splintering nightstand and she eyed it without concern even if she knew her friends were probably worried about where she was and even if they knew, they wouldnt be able to talk her out of it now. And she wouldnt let them because one cannot retrieve a boat set sail long ago and one cannot undo whats already been done. She invited it anyway, its what she looked for, its what she wanted and its what was inside of her. Not even deep, just right under her first skin, it lay waiting for the one touch that awoke a sleeping demon that sent secret messages to her brain about what true sacrifice is.

For the average, sacrifice is skipping lunch at work to get home early for dinner, but true sacrifice involves surrender and for most, surrender is never an option properly executed. It takes more courage to surrender than to love because love is just a promise to another person but surrender is an action that humbles one. Surrender is a declaration of the right one gives to another person to dominate their entire body and soul.

Dana Fairbanks thought about this as she flicked the ash off her cigarette on the filthy bedspread she was lying on and extended her hand to pick up a drink off the nightstand, which she held to her lips gently as she continued thinking. The woodsy smell of single malt scotch filled her nose and cooled her throat like aloe over a sore burn as it traveled down to her empty stomach and coated the nerves that were building there like a mad fury of bees around a fallen hive in the deep of summer.

One drink felt so good she had to pour another and when she stood, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car she knew too well, she dropped the glass on the faded and stained carpet and it shattered sending fragments of glass around her like confetti thrown in a parade. Her first instinct wasnt to pick up the shards of glass but to run to the door and thats what she did, she ran to the door and stood breathlessly at guard, not answering when her name was called.

Let me in. The voice on the other side was calm and collected. Its just me. It rang in Danas ears and she bit down on her lip before she replied.

If I let you in, youll never leave. It was barely a whisper.

Dana, Im not Dracula.

Arent you? She pressed herself against the door and traced a heart with her finger.

I have what you wanted. The doorknob began to turn and when the door opened it was caught on both a chain and the chair. Maybe this was a bad idea. The door abruptly closed.

Wait! Dana swatted the chair out of the way and unlocked the chain. Catherine please! She stood in the open doorway right as it began to rain.

Catherine stood by her car momentarily debating whether she should just get in and drive away for good or walk back into that room and before she decided she closed the door behind her.

What happened? Catherine looked down at the glass.

It slipped.

Are you okay?

What do you care? Dana turned her back and Catherine put her hand on her shoulder, melting away her building tension and set a duffle bag down beside her. I cant do this anymore.

Youll always do it.

I have a real life Catherine, this isnt a part of it. She pulled away. Catherine exhaled tiredly while taking her coat off. She flung it on the chair, ran a hand through her wet blonde hair and sat on the edge of the bed across from where Dana stood.

I know why you do this to yourself every time. She lit a cigarette and took off a long sleeved shirt, leaving her dressed in a white muscle shirt. Youre making yourself feel guilty because you dont.

I do feel guilty.

You think you do.

You think you know everything about me. Dana took a drink out of the bottle and this time it burned down her throat like a piece of hot charcoal.

Catherine exhaled smoke as she observed Dana and she maintained eye contact although Dana evaded her any chance she got. She couldnt help the way Dana felt nor could she change it; she could only give her what she wanted and she would but it wouldnt be easy; it never was.

Dana stood by the dresser, facing the mirror and she took another fiery swallow out of the bottle and spied on Catherine through the reflection.

She was a stunning woman; her eyes were subliminal cobalt, her lips full and her alabaster skin glimmered in the dull night like the shine off a lost coin on a dark road. Dana was not only in love with her but also in her servitude, which went much farther and deeper than any emotion one could muster. Catherine was everything she wasnt and whenever she entered any room, every light dimmed to hers.

Do you want me to know everything about you? The question echoed in the room. Dana looked over her shoulder at Catherine and smirked.

Its boring.

I dont care.

Catherines response made Dana let out a small laugh and she coyly replied. Im not as interesting as you think.

Why dont you tell me what you think I would be interested in? Dana began to speak and Catherine interrupted. Over here. She made a motion for her to sit next to her on the bed. Dana began to walk around the glass and Catherine told her to stop. Walk through it to me.

The shards of glass lay uneven, some sides were smooth side up and others were like pitchforks waiting for impalement.

If you close your eyes, it will be easier. Dana stood barefoot, her eyes locked with Catherines and she took a deep breath and prepared herself. The first step was sure to tear the soles of both her feet up but she didnt care, she welcomed the impeding pain and sacrificed it for Catherine.

Right as Dana lifted her foot Catherine jumped up from the bed, pushed her up against the dresser and kissed her deeply. Danas back hit the mirror; she wrapped her legs around Catherine and kissed her back with the same fierceness.

The dresser was shimmying; the bottle of scotch moved back and forth as it would on a captains table on some lone ship and when it knocked into Catherines hand she looked up momentarily and in the reflection noticed the mirror had cracked. Dana instinctively put her hand behind her back and brought back a fistful of blood.

Is it bad?

No. Dana smiled. Isnt blood scandalous? Catherine smiled and Dana put her bloody fingers up to her lips and let her lick them clean until it was more than she could bear and she moved off the dresser and walked Catherine down onto the bed. She began to unbutton her oxford, exposing her soft suntanned skin from hours of court time, her hair fell forward as she looked down at Catherine and she climbed slowly on top of her, with her shirt still on, she slithered herself into a straddle and Catherine let her hands travel slowly beneath her shirt finding her *****. She had already undressed herself and whenever Dana moved, her belt buckle dug deep into her skin and the feeling was intoxicating.

Does it hurt when I do that?

Yes.

Good. Dana replied and did it harder, and then with one quick move, Catherine turned Dana on her back, straddled her and held her hands above her head. With her free hand she undid her belt buckle; her jean button, her zipper and bent down to kiss her quivering stomach, which heightened Danas breathing and then she stopped. She took the belt and with one hard yank she pulled it out of all its loops and threw it on the floor.

Dana made no attempt to struggle free from Catherines grip, although in the beginning she did to no avail, she had accepted her nature and welcomed its revolution. She twisted wildly as Catherine began kissing her ribs slowly, moving from one side to another and then going back down to her stomach. The pleasure was overwhelming and Dana begged her to kiss her lips again but she wouldnt. She continued to torture Dana with wet kisses that soon found their way to her *****, which she began to suck through her bra. Dana wrapped her legs around Catherines naked body and soon a rhythm began to form and with every thrust, Dana felt a sharp pain in her back but she didnt stop.

Does it hurt when I do that? Catherine breathed into her ear.

Yes.

Good. Catherine did it harder, released Danas hands and fell to her mouth hungrily. For all the intensity the kiss was extremely slow and wet. Kissing is the most intimate form of expressing just how much love and desire one could have for another person and more often than not, its the most overlooked way of communicating. They didnt stop to breathe, to save their lives and Dana accepted her probing tongue with her own and then Catherine moved to her neck with an incredible force, leaving no space untouched while Dana groaned deeply.

Dana struggled to get out of her jeans and Catherine stopped abruptly to help. Dana sat up when they were off, she took off her oxford, stained with blood and Catherine inspected her back. She carefully pulled out a small shard of glass.

Why didnt you tell me?

Would you have cared? Dana felt new blood spilling as Catherine took a bandage out of the duffle bag and applied it carefully, stopping the blood.

Dont be ridiculous. She took her face in her hands and kissed her lips. Sometimes I think its me that you want to hurt.

I do. Dana replied smiling.

Maybe Ill give you that chance.

Maybe Ill take it anyway. Their eyes were locked, Dana broke the stare first and brushed Catherines nipple with the back of her hand. Catherine carefully climbed back on top of Danas body began to kiss her again but softly. She took her right hand and caressed her *****, her thighs and then her *****. Dana opened her eyes and they were deadlocked again as Catherine entered her slowly with two fingers, letting her skin fold and mold around her, Dana relaxed her muscles and right when she exhaled, Catherine began to slowly thump that spot that everyone else misses.

The euphoria that Dana felt was unsurpassable and she steadied Catherines hand with her own moving into it deeper and the more she opened herself up, the slower and harder Catherine began to thump. Her breathing and groaning were becoming louder and it pleased Catherine to be able to control it and she did; she stopped suddenly and before Dana could open her eyes and catch her breath, she started it again and stopped again and then started anew.

Youre gonna make me *****. Dana exclaimed breathlessly as she gripped Catherines arm tightly and her body jerked almost upright as she began to climax. With her free hand she held on to the back of Catherines neck and they sat breathing into each others mouths as Dana grinded one last time before she came. And before she could say anything else, Catherine kissed her deeply, kissed her shaking body and clad in sweat, they collapsed next to one another on the bed.

Youll pay for that tomorrow on the court. Dana lit a cigarette and shrugged.

Ill pay for worse earlier than that. She looked over at Catherine who sat on the edge of the bed taking a drink out of the bottle of scotch.

You know, I cant talk to you about this right now Dana, because Im expecting another insult from you in any minute. Her sarcasm was intriguing and it made her smile. She traced a heart on Catherines lower back.

Does that hurt?

Yes.

Good. Dana embraced her from behind and Catherine took the cigarette out of her hand and took a drag off of it. Dana began to plant kisses over her back, moving her long hair away and up to her shoulders; where most of her scars were. Catherine exhaled a cloud of smoke and smiled.

Do you remember when you gave me that? Dana ran her finger in the deep groove. You were so apologetic.

What did I know? Dana scoffed and took the cigarette back and touched it lightly to Catherines lower back, which caused her to jump and turn around. That really hurt didnt it? Dana laughed and butted the cigarette out in the ashtray on the nightstand.

Catherines eyes were filled with lust when she returned from the duffle bag and knelt before Dana still sitting on the edge of the bed and she spread her legs and trailed kisses on the inside of her thighs, each time getting closer and closer to her ***** but never reaching it. Dana watched her lover tenderly, hoping that each pass she made would be the one shed stop at. She picked up the bottle of scotch from the nightstand and trickled it down her stomach to a surprised but not shocked Catherine, then guided by Danas free hand to clean her up and she did. She spared no drop and when she reached her ***** and ran her tongue over the top and then approached it with a long French kiss, Dana threw her head back and groaned loudly. She dropped the bottle, she propped her hands behind her and let Catherine slowly lick her into a surreal ecstasy. She put her leg on Catherines back and rubbed her foot on it, pushing her deeper inside of her.

Do it. Dana breathed as she met those subliminal cobalt eyes and Catherine affixed two thumb spears and dragged them on the inside of both Danas thighs until they began to bleed and when they did, she drank her blood.

What she didnt drink spilled down Danas thighs and ran over her lips and as Dana closed her eyes she steadied Catherines head with her hands and when she couldnt bear it any longer she moved forward and kissed her lips passionately, bloody handprints marked Danas back as Catherine lowered her down to the floor and brought her hips up to her mouth and gave Dana what she wanted; to grind on her face.

Her rhythm was slow, Catherine steadied her with both hands and held her down with great force as Dana continued to grind harder and deeper until her movements became more jagged.

Oh *****. She kept repeating, palms down on the floor and moving slowly on Catherines face, feeling the strong jabs of her tongue and fierceness of her lips. Youre gonna drink this too. She began to say as her breath heightened, her muscles tightened, sweat beaded all over her body and for what never seemed long enough, she began to climax and when she did, she blew her wad down Catherines throat and she swallowed it.

Before Dana could have collapsed tiredly on top of her lover, Catherine had her face down on the bed and plunged two fingers deeply inside of her and Dana moaned loudly. She held onto the spindles of the wooden headboard as Catherine vigorously thrust her fingers in and out of her, shaking the bed and smacking the entire frame against the wall. Dana looked over her shoulder and instinctively Catherine knew what to do next and with her free hand, she laid it on top of Danas tailbone, stabilizing her and then slowly began to thrust her fingers inside of her, no matter how much she tried to twist with pleasure, Catherine had her secured in one position until it forced her to ***** hard, again and again and again.

The storm outside was drawing to an end, the night cooled and for a third rate hotel it was dead quiet and both women lay next to each other on the bed listening to each other breathe until a knock at the door penetrated that silence.