Robin awoke to find herself in a tool shed. Her momentary confusion passed and she sat up to see Jenny snoozing in a chair and Gene’s back disappearing through the door. She sprung from the bed and flew across the room to catch the door before it slammed, noticing too late that Gene had turned and was closing it quietly when their eyes met. Robin froze for a moment, asking herself why she felt guilty, and then smiled ruefully at him. He blew her a kiss and was gone.
“I wonder what that meant…” she thought to herself, then went back and sat on the edge of the bed, contemplating Jenny’s sleeping face.
“Robin, what the ***** have you gotten yourself mixed up in?” she asked herself. “This baby *****’s got boyfriends sneaking out at dawn and she lives in her husband’s backyard!” She shook her head to clear it and considered her next move. She was still thinking when Jenny’s eyes fluttered open.
“Hi,” Robin smiled at her.
“Good morning,” murmured Jenny, glancing around the room.
“He just left.”
“Oh. Ok.” Jenny thought for a moment. “That’s sort of a relief, actually. Is that horrible?”
“Well, no, I certainly don’t think so.”
“‘Cause like- I was starting to feel kind of weird about him? I went out with him once because he was nice to me and I- I really liked him as a person? But, I’m not attracted to him, though, I’m not… I probably shouldn’t have asked him out for last night, but I wanted to go and you were busy. That was selfish of me, I know it was.”
“I think Gene understands you’re in a gray area.”
“But, I’m not. You heard my coming out story. Doesn’t the fact that I call it ‘my coming out story’ mean that I’m out? I mean, doesn’t it?”
“Only you can answer that, Jenny, but you seemed pretty ‘out’ the last time I was here.”
Jenny smiled shyly at the memory.
“Yes, and then I asked you to come see Provocations with me. You were my first choice, not Gene. Then Marina…God, Marina”
“Yes, what about that?”
“Oh, God…I spent all night thinking about it. I just don’t know what to do about it, though. I thought …that… was something I wanted to hear right up until an hour before I heard it, you know? God, that has just so been my luck ever since I got here.”
“Well, how do you feel about her?”
“Well, I was in love with her but now…now, it’s kind of…hard? For me… to separate my feelings about her from my feelings about what I did and about the things her girlfriend said and how she acted with you. The whole thing leaves me feeling a little bit…dirty. But I don’t know if that’s me or her.”
“Well, if you want my opinion…”
“Yes…yes, I do want your opinion, Robin.”
“Well, I just think that the way she pursued me and set us up to meet like that was very calculating.”
“I know. That was really awful, wasn’t it?’
“It really was.”
“Inexcusably awful?”
“Do you want to excuse her?”
“I don’t want to just arbitrarily refuse to excuse her. I made this huge mess out of my life for her. Part of me wants to make it worth that if it’s possible. But the other half is just mad.”
“Well, I can’t be very objective about this, so I probably shouldn’t say any more. In fact, I probably shouldn’t still be here, you’ve got a lot to figure out.”
“You’re leaving?”
“I feel like I should, at least for a little while. I can come back if you want.”
“I want.”
“Ok, then I’ll come back after…this thing I have to do.”
“Ok” Jenny smiled as Robin hesitated and then planted a quick kiss on her forehead.
“Bye, Jenny.”
“Bye, Robin.”
“Bye”
Robin closed Jenny’s door behind her and walked quickly past the house, hoping to avoid Tim. She passed by safely, got into her Jeep, and drove quickly to The Planet, double-parking in front. She race-walked through the door, grabbed Marina by her bicep, and had her in the bathroom before she knew what hit her.
“Robin…did you change your mind?”
“Don’t be coy, Marina, you know what this is about.”
“But do you know what it’s about?” Marina asked, her eyes hardening as she mentally recast Robin from the role of prey to competitor.
“Yes, Marina. It is about you. It is about you and lust and ego and need, but it is not about love and it’s not about Jenny.”
“Well, it’s certainly not about you. You’ve known her for a week.”
“You know, normally I would agree with you. Normally I would feel that it was absolutely not my place to get involved in whatever went on between a girl I’m seeing and her ex. But not this time. This time I was dragged into it, and that was your idea. It ususally takes a whole lot to get me angry, but you’ve totally done it, Marina, and right now you’re finding out who you messed with. So quit leaving messages, you got it?”
“She told you about that?”
“I was at her house when your message came through. I heard you. You’re not in love, you’re trying to prove something to yourself, and there’s a whole lot of other girls out there besides Jenny to do it with. They don’t deserve it any more than she does, but I’m not seeing them so they’ll have to take their chances. All I know is, you and Jenny are done”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know you didn’t tell her you had someone else until after you broke up her marriage. I know you used me to hurt her, I was there, remember? And I know that someone who would do that to someone they claim to be in love with has no idea what that even means. And I also know that behavior is really pathetic in anyone over twenty-two.”
“Don’t you judge me, Robin. You are the one taking advantage of a very confused girl.”
“Jenny isn’t confused about what she wants- she’s just confused about what it can mean- because all you have shown her is loss. Now, I am sorry your girlfriend left you, ok? But you need to give Jenny a chance to enjoy coming out and remember it as something more than the destruction of all she ever knew. I can offer her that. All of her memories with you are painful.”
“Not. All. of them.” Marina said through gritted teeth.
“Whatever. Just back off.”
“That’s not for you to say, Robin, nobody can make that decision except- Jenny!”
Robin followed Marina’s suprised glance to see Jenny framed in the bathroom doorway. She met the eyes of each in turn and looked down.
“Robin, would you mind giving Marina and I a moment alone?’
“Sure, Jenny, um, I’ll be right outside.”
Robin left the bathroom and got two lattes from the counter. When she turned to look for a table, she caught sight of a perky blond woman waving frantically at her. She rocognized her from the opening and from Palm Springs as one of Jenny’s friends and made her way to the table.
“Have a seat.” Alice offered, blinking innocently up at Robin.
“Ok.” Robin sat.
“Sooo… Seems like this would be an inopportune time to visit the ladies room.”
“Um, yeah..”
“So, Robin, Jenny met you Dinah Shore weekend, right? And I saw you at Provocations with Marina, and now we have the restroom triangle going on. Am I up to speed?”
“You seem to know as much as I do.” Suddenly both girls looked up as the bathroom door flew open and Marina stormed out, hiding her face.
“Guess you should get in there, huh? I’ll save the table.” Alice smiled brightly and nodded toward the restroom.
Robin stood up, hesitated for a moment, and then made her way across the cafe.
“Jenny?” She knocked softly on the door.
“Come in, Robin.”
Robin pushed open the door. She approached Jenny lowly and held out her arms just enough to indicate their availibility. Jenny leaned into them, resting her head for a long moment on Robin’s shoulder before looking up into her eyes.
“Why do I feel like a *****?”
“Because you’re a sponge. Other people’s emotions seem like your own. It’s what confuses you.”
“How do you..know that?”
“I knew another…writer”
“There’s writers in the circus?”
“No, silly. I did go to college for about a minute.”
“They teach trapeze in college?”
“No…” Robin smiled at Jenny’s attempts at levity. “They have something called gymnastics? I competed for a semester, but it turns out I was a late bloomer and shot up to my current Amazonian height of five- six right after I got there. I ran away with the circus pretty soon after leaving the team, but not before falling disastrously in love with my suitemate. She was the writer.”
“I thought you came out in the circus.”
“Well,I didn’t admit to myself that I was in love with her at the time, but I was her ‘best friend’ so I got all the gory details about all her boyfriend and family dramas and stuff, you know..it just- it just always seemed like she got caught up in what was expected of her or.. what was needed of her, or she was seeing herself through the eyes of those who wanted something from her, and she had a hard time knowing where she ended and others began. But, it wasn’t like she didn’t know who she was- she was very much herself when she and I were alone together. But it was like, when others were involved, even her boyfriends who supposedly knew her intimately, she assumed most of her perceptions were wrong, and she was always hanging back watching to see what everybody else did before she made any decisions.”
“Oh my God, I never thought about it like that. I guess I do that, too. I always feel like I live way over in left field and that if I ever just act natural people will see I’m this total alien.”
“You see, I knew this about you.”
“Yeah, you did…” Jenny looked up at Robin and then closed her eyes and offered her lips. Robin kissed her almost in slow-motion and then whispered,
“Do you feel like that around me?”
Jenny closed her eyes again, tilting her head backwards as she thought about it.
Robin took advantage of this to kiss her neck and Jenny chuckled.
“N-no…I guess I don’t, really.” She sounded suprised. Both were silent for a moment.
“You know…I actually kinda like this place, in spite of the management. I got you a latte and your friend Alice is saving us a table…do you want to risk it?”
“Well…ok?” Jenny reached down and wound her fingers through Robin’s.
“Ok.”
They walked out of the bathroom hand-in-hand. Alice was talking on her cell phone, looking concerned. She hung up when they approached, then stood and began to gather her things.
“Leaving?” Robin asked.
“Yeah, gotta go, always a pleasure, congrats, kisses, hugs, buh-bye.” She tossed the last word over her shoulder and she hurried out the door.
Robin and Jenny sat down and simultaneously picked up their just-now-drinkable lattes.
“I feel like writing.”
“About the Manatees?”
“No, I think the Manatees are ‘resting’ right now.”
“Manatees are nocturnal?”
“No, I mean..that story..is resting. The idea seems far away today. I feel like starting something new.”
“Any ideas yet?”
“Maybe..yes, I think so…would-would it be ok if..you know what you said to me in Palm Springs about working on the trapeze being like ***** up?”
“You want to write about that?”
“Would you mind? I mean, I know it is your insight and not mine, but I think I could do it justice if you would trust me.”
“No…I would love that.”
“So, I would want to maybe…come watch you sometime? Could I do that?”
“Sure, I would love to have you there sometime.”
“Sometime soon?”
“How about this afternoon? I need the workout anyway, its been days.”
“Excellent, excellent! Thank you so much for saying yes.”
Robin leaned across the table and gave Jenny a quick but firm kiss.
“Maybe I’ll be able to say no to you someday, but not any time soon. Do you want to go home and change into something with a little more ‘give’?” Robin asked, eyeing Jenny’s jeans. “You’ll need a full range of motion.”
“You mean, I could actually get up there? On the trapeze?”
“Don’t you want to? For the story?”
“Oh yeah, I guess so. I’m just excited about feeling what it’s like to be you.”
“Well, then maybe you’ll let me play on your laptop awhile so I can see what it’s like to be you.” Robin stood and began gathering their things. They began moving toward the door.
“Well, you already had the toolshed experience. That’s a big part of what it’s like to be me. Maybe then I could take you to ring up some groceries.”
Robin laughed at the idea of herself in the Laurelwood smock as she opened the door of her Jeep for Jenny and walked around to the driver’s side.
“Oh, I’ve done that already, I think we can skip that one.” she said, and pointed the Jeep back toward the tool shed.

To be continued…