Chapter one: Run Away

I am a run-away. It sounded absurd, even to me; but at 34, I ran away from home.

If youd asked me 5 years ago what I wanted, I would have described exactly what Id just left behind. My life had been a good life. I had a great job teaching at the University, a wonderful girlfriend who adored me, an old house wed restored to its turn-of-the-century glory, enough money to live quite comfortably; from the outside I had it all. My friends and colleagues envied me, but I felt like I was dying; like I was drowning in a vat of thick, sticky muck that clung to every fiber of my being.

So, on a Thursday afternoon, with all my exams completed and my grades handed in, I packed a single bag, left a short note, got in my car and never looked back. Id driven as far as I could without running off into the ocean: From Prouts Neck, Maine to Los Angeles, California. Id had enough snow for a lifetime and I guess I was seduced by the talk of fabulous weather, beautiful people, warm beaches and maybe..hopefully finding the perfect life.what ever that was.

But like all seductions, this was more mirage than oasis. The beaches were amazing, so different from the ones Id known in Maine; but I almost never got there; it was ludicrously expensive to live in LA. I had to taken 2 jobs just to be able to afford a 300 square foot roach nest. Beautiful women.oh my God, they were everywhere. It was pure eye-candy, but it also introduced a whole level of feeling self conscious and inadequate that Id never experience. I was now painfully aware of the 25 extra pounds, my pale skin from years of long winters spent bundled under layers of clothes, and my drab dishwater blond hair with a natural curl that wouldnt be tamed. Regardless, I was happy; and that was more than I could say about my life in a long time.

Id taken a job at a small ***** bookstore. For now, it was a perfect job: I didnt have to think, plan or take any work home. I just showed up, did my job and went home. I spent my days talking to women about this book and that, making my recommendations and listening to theirs. On the weekends, I worked at a vet clinic watching over and nurturing animals that someone thought of as family.

At the end of the day I went home alone to the quiet of an empty room. At first the isolation was a welcome relief. But, after 3 months, I found myself restless and tired of it. I resolved to get out more; it was time to start making friends.

There was a poster for a weekly party called Radar at the book store. A few of my more regular customers had talked about it, and encouraged me to go. I decided Id check it out.

I walked into the small caf Id passed a dozen times and couldnt believe my eyes. During the day, it seemed to be a quiet, little coffee bar/caf, but tonight it was dark and throbbing with the beat of music. The place was dense with women. Women of every shape, size and style. I stood in the door way taking in the scene; I wasnt sure this was a good idea. Reminding myself that women were not going to come to my door, I forced myself into the sea of women.

I found the bar and ordered a whiskey sour. While waiting for my drink, I spotted a woman Id met at the bookstore. I didnt know her well, but any familiar face was a welcome sight. I took my drink and headed in the direction of her table. She was with a half dozen other women; they were talking and laughing and I considered altering directions rather than interrupt them, but as I approached, she caught my eye and waved me over. She stood to hug me as she said Oh, my God, they dont have you chained behind the counter. I was beginning to think Id never see you outside The Spinsters Attic. I laughed and said hello to Jenny. She took my hand as she introduced me to her friends.

This is Bette and Tina. They live next

The blond one interrupted her, Do you hear that honey, were Bettentina a new word in the English language, not two distinct people. Everyone giggled as she leaned to kiss the darker woman on the cheek.

Jenny shrugged it off with a grunt and continued, And Shane, our resident heart breaker Shane winked at me and smiled. Jenny gestured to a petite athletic woman, This is

Dana Faibanks..Get out and Stay out. I blurted. The entire group burst into laughter at this and Dana looked at me sheepishly. I felt the blush rushing to my cheeks. Sorry, I laughed nervously, I have seen your ad. It is nice to see someone in the public eye come out and be true to themselves as well as represent the community. I really admire you for that.

The blond sitting next to her quickly added Please dont encourage her; her head is already so big she can barely get through a door way. Dana lightly smacked the blondes head before she reached out to shake my hand and thanked me.

The blond extended a hand and said, Im Alice.

Jenny continued to the last woman at the table And, this is my girlfriend Robin. I smiled at Robin and said hello. Shane scooted around and pulled up a chair to make room for me at their table.

I sat and joined them, as Alice got up to get another round of drinks and Bette and Tina headed off to the dance floor. Jenny told me about the latest story she was writing. It was something about a dragon; I dont know. I wasnt really paying attention, but rather I was staring at a woman across the room. She was striking and I couldnt take my eyes off of her. Suddenly I saw Shanes hand waving before my face and snapped back to the table to find all of them staring at me.

Knowing Id been nailed, I tried to play it off. What? I asked. What? She had on great boots. Did you see her boots. They all turned to see who Id been admiring and Dana held her hands up in front of her chest as if holding two large melons and said Boots. yeah, I saw her boots. There were nice. Laughter erupted from the table; even I had to laugh.

Shane took my hand pulling me up. Common, lets play pool.

Embarrassed at my open gawking, I was happy to follow her.

Shane led me into a small back room. It was nice, it was less crowded and much quieter back here. The table was open and Shane handed me a stick. What shall it be? she asked, Eight ball?

I was about to answer when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see an amazingly beautiful woman. May I join you? We could play cut throat. Her voice washed over me. It was deep and rich with an accent that I couldnt place. I stared at her.

She was waiting for a response. I was dumb stuck and stammered something as I gestured to Shane.

Hey, Marina. Shane answered. Cut throat is fine by me. How about you Freddie?

At that, Marinas eyebrows raised and a smirk spread across her face, Freddie?

Finally, I regained my composure. That was a comment Id gotten all my life; that, I could respond to. Well, really it is Winifred—but dont even think about it. I paused long enough to give them both the evil eye. My mom preferred Winnie, but I put a stop to that when I was about 4 and insisted on Freddie. Shane and Marina both laughed and I shook my head looking down at the floor before returning my gaze to Marina. Mom says that was the day she began to wonder about me. Again, we all laughed.

Shane wracked up the balls and offered either of us the break, we declined and she did the honors. Shane sank one of my balls and then missed her next shot. Marina got a stick and began pacing around the table sizing up her shots. Shane came over to me and whispered Dont ever play for money with Marina, shes a shark.

I heard that Marina teased as she sunk her first shot.

I just nodded my head and gave a small laugh as I watched this woman lean her long body across the table. I was enthralled by her. She was beautiful and moved with the grace of a cat. Two more of Shanes balls and one of my own off the table before Marina missed a shot and gestured grandly as she turned the table over to me.

I walked up to the table and slowly took my first shot. Marinas 8 ball down. Shanes 3. Marinas 10. Marinas 7.

I could feel Marinas eyes on me, boring into me. I heard Shane sigh as she settled into a nearby chair. Id had enough to drink that I felt a bit cocky and continued to clear the table without looking at either of them.

I heard Marina clear her throat as she said Im the shark, huh?

Shane simply replied, I had no idea, man.

I glanced quickly over at Marina and turned to wink at Shane You never asked if I was any good…. I continued and didnt stand up until the last of Marinas balls rolled slowly into the corner pocket. My grandfather had a pool table when I was a kid. I shrugged.

Marina was staring at me. I felt as if I was being examined, weighed, tested. I met her stare and held it.

Thats enough for me. Shane said. One is bad enough, but there is no way I will play with the both of you sharks. She laughed as she put her stick away.

I looked away from Marina and watched Shane stroll out of the room. I turned back to Marina, Thank you for the game. I said as I laid my stick on the table and turned to leave.

Wait. Marina called. One more game, just you and me. Give me a chance to redeem myself now that I know what I am up against.

I hesitated and turned to face her. Holy Cripes, she really was the most beautiful woman Id ever seen. I knew I should go. But it had been a long time since Id flirted like this. I knew it was harmless. There was no way a woman like that was going to be interested in me.

I hadnt replied when she commanded You wrack em up and Ill get the drinks.

She returned with two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. I knew I was in trouble.