Bette was driving back to LA thinking about her horrible weekend. She had spent all day Saturday and all night trying to figure out what was going on with her and Tina and Candace, but she came up severely empty handed. Bette had tried to rationalize her attraction to Candace as a reflex to the distance she was feeling from Tina, but she knew this was a lie. Then she tried to compare Tina and Candace and see what it was about them that attracted her to them. They each had different qualities that Bette loved and again, she was left with nothing. Then she tried to close her eyes and think deeply about who she wanted to be with and again she was pulled in opposite directions. Her heart said Tina but her body said Candace. Her mind said I have no ***** clue and Bette agreed with this. She glanced at the time and saw that it was almost nine oclock and she should be back in LA in about thirty minutes. She decided there was only one person who she wanted to see right now so she sped up trying to get back to LA so that this person could talk some sense into her.

At nine thirty exactly Bette was knocking on Kits door. Kit opened the door and after her initial shock wore off she invited Bette in. Bette followed her into the living room and took a seat on the couch. She looked up at her sister and could tell that Kit was a little angry with her for leaving Tina, again. But Kit just sat down next to her and waited for her to start talking.

KitI dont know what to do. Ive tried looking at this from every possible angle and Im still confused as to what I should do.

Bette, there is nothing that you should be doing, its what you want to be doing.

I dont know what I want.

Well thats too bad because youre the only one who can tell you what you want. Like I told you before, your problems arent just going to disappear. You need to deal with them.

I tried. I went up to San Francisco this weekend.

What?

Just to try and clear my head.

Did it work?

No.

Bette why are you doing this again? Why are you running away when things get difficult?

I dont know.

Tears were forming in her eyes and Bette didnt want to let them fall. She was tired of crying and tired of feeling so helpless. She was tired of being confused and more importantly she was tired of everyone expecting her to make a decision. Kit moved over to Bette and put her arm around her baby sister. Sometimes Bette appeared to have everything under control, but Kit knew that it was these times when Bette was falling apart inside.

It must be so hard for you to be like him.

What are you talking about?

Melvin. You are just like him. You try and categorize people in these little boxes and then when things dont go according to plan you shut them out but expect them to still be there for you. You never deal with the issue, you just push it away hoping it resolves itself. Bette, why are you really having such a hard time dealing with all of this? You know you love Tina, and you know you have an attraction to Candace. But why are you really having such difficulty expressing what you want?

I dont know.

Ill tell you what I think. I think its because youve been conditioned to want things a certain way. To have a perfect life with a perfect family and all of that. But when something comes along that doesnt fit into your perfect world you fall apart and dont know how to deal with it. Why did you fight so hard to get Tina back only to push her away again?

Because I love her Kit. Shes my wife and I love her.

Then why are you sitting here crying on my couch? Why arent you at home with her?

Because.I.I dont know.

Yes you do Bette. Its because you dont know what you want from Candace. Look, I think your initial reaction to try and get Tina back was because you felt like it was something you had to have in your life. It was part of the package deal and maybe you werent ready for that. That doesnt make you a bad person Bette, but when you violated that then you became the guilty one.

Gee thanks Kit.

Hey youre the one who cheated on your wife, dont blame me for your indiscretions. But Bette can I ask you a question?

What?

What was the real reason behind you cheating in the first place?

What? What are you talking about?

I just dont believe that you are so out of touch with your hormones that you just couldnt control them. No I dont believe that. So what was it that made you cheat?

Bette stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of her sister. She knew Kit was right, but she never wanted to admit it to anyone. Bette felt like she was losing her mind and she knew that Kit was only being like this to try and help her sort her problems out. She decided that if she was going to do this she might as well dive in headfirst.

Kit I have no idea. I mean, things with Tina were bad, but I didnt think they were that bad. We had our problems but every couple has them. When we lost the baby things got worse. We werent talking as much and we started fighting a lot more. I dont know, and then Candace came along and she was so different, so new.

So you fell out of love?

What? No, I love Tina and I always will.

Yeah but are you still in love with her? You dont cheat because you are attracted to someone else, you cheat because youre not in love anymore. Melvin told me that once and Ive hated him for it ever since, but now I understand what he meant.

Bette looked at her sister with a look of disbelief in her eyes. She never thought Kit and Melvin were able to talk about anything and she was surprised that Kit even brought him up tonight. But Bette understood what her sister was saying. She was having doubts about being in love still when Tina got pregnant and she knew that there were more than a few times when she could have just talked to Tina about it, but she didnt. She never did and maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe she WAS just like her father. Pushing people away and closing herself off when she got in a tight situation, then looking for the easy way out. Bette sat back down next to her sister.

I just want to get my life back.

What life Bette? Your life with Tina? You want to go back to the way things were before? Or your life now, with Candace?

I just want to fix things and make them right again. I love Tina, I really do, but I dont know what is going on with Candace and I dont know if I want to find out.

Bette, you cant fix everything all at once. You need to take it one day at a time and figure out who you are and what you want.

I know that I want Tina in my lifebut I dont know how to do that and still deal with Candace.

Kit looked at Bette and just shook her head. She couldnt believe that after everything that has happened with Tina she still couldnt make up her mind.

Stop being so selfish Bette. You know that will never happen.

Bette looked at her sister with anger in her eyes. She felt like she was going in circles and she was tired of it. She got up to leave but Kit jumped in front of her before she could reach the door.

See this is exactly what Im talking about Bette. Things get tough and you just want to bail. Not this time baby sister. You cant do it this time because this time its your life youre putting on the line. Your life and your happiness. Are you really willing to push that away and see how it turns out? Because I can tell you one thing, I dont know about Candace, but Tina wont be there forever.

Bette was crying now and Kit reached out and pulled her into her arms. Bette sobbed as she tried to understand what her sister was saying. Bette knew that deep down she was right and if she didnt get things straightened out soon she would lose the one person who meant everything to her. But Bette still didnt have any answers and when she finally left Kits house an hour later she still wasnt any closer to understanding what it was she wanted. Bette felt a little better though because after talking to Kit she realized the main problem was her. Now she just had to figure out a way to straighten herself out and maybe things would finally fall into place.