One week had gone by since Bette went up to San Francisco to try and clear her head. She replayed her conversation with Kit over and over in her head as she tried to figure out who she was nowadays. Bette was disgusted with herself and she didnt even know who she was anymore. She hadnt called Tina back because she didnt know what to say to her, and since Tina hadnt tried calling her again Bette figured she was over it. This past week had been tough on Bette and between work and trying to figure herself out there was Candace.

Bette had seen Candace twice that week and both times Bette didnt know why she was there. The first time had been accidental, Bette ran into her on the street and they ended up having coffee again. Their conversation was light and Bette knew she was not ready to get into any kind of relationship with Candace, but she did enjoy her company. The second time was different however. They had made plans to have dinner on Thursday night and at first Bette was looking forward to it, but as the night got closer she was getting more and more nervous. They went to a little Chinese place that was far away from where anyone would see them. Bette had to admit that Candace looked gorgeous that night, but even that wasnt enough to ease her mind. The whole night she was trying to figure out what she was doing there with Candace and finally Candace came right out and asked her why she was being so distant. Bette didnt have an answer and they ended up having a small fight as they were leaving. It wasnt enough to push away the feelings of want that Bette had for Candace, but it was enough to stop her from pursuing them that night. Bette went home and stayed up all night trying to figure out why she was so unhappy when she finally got what she thought she wanted.

Bette called in sick to work again on Friday and she spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday really trying to think and get her head on straight. She finally felt ready to talk to Tina so she got into her car and drove to Alices apartment. She knocked on the door and Alice was surprised to see her standing there.

Hey Bette, whats going on?

Is Tina here? I really need to talk to her.

Alice looked at Bette with sympathy in her eyes. Tina had moved out at the beginning of the week and Alice had only heard from her three times that week. Tina had been so busy unpacking and getting her old place set up that she didnt have time to talk to anyone, or more importantly, think about Bette.

Shes not here Bette. She moved out remember?

A look of confusion crossed Bettes face. Thats right she said she was moving. Bette sat down at Alices table and felt herself starting to shake inside. Her whole world was falling apart and this time there was no one there to catch her.

Do you know where she went Al?

She went back to her old place. The one she used to live in before she moved in with you.

Bette felt tears forming in her eyes as she thought about going back to Tinas old place. They had shared so many memories there and Bette didnt know if Tina wanted her showing up there. She obviously wanted to get away from Bette because she didnt have to move all the way back to Santa Monica. She could have easily found a place nearby.

Okay. Maybe Ill give her a call later.

Bette got up to walk away and Alice almost let her go before she changed her mind and decided to intervene.

Bette.

Yeah?

I know its not any of my business butwellI know she misses you.

I miss her too.

Bette felt the tears welling in her eyes so she decided to leave before she broke down completely in front of Alice. Bette got into her car and got on the freeway. She drove over to Tinas old place hoping that she was home and not in a confrontational mood. The last time they had talked she seemed so cold and Bette hoped she was over that. Bette pulled up in front of the two-story town home and just sat in her car staring at the house. Before she could change her mind she got out of her car and walked up to the door. She didnt know if she should ring the doorbell or just knock so she stood there for a moment trying to figure it out. Finally she got up the courage and rang the doorbell. Tina opened the door and Bette held her breath for a second before finding her voice.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Alice told me you moved back here.

Bette looked at Tina hoping that she didnt look too confused. Tina looked great and Bette wanted to reach out and run her hands along Tinas arms or through her hair. Tina was looking at Bette with a guarded expression and she didnt know if she was happy or angry at Bette for just showing up at her house.

Tina, can we talk?

I dont know. I dont think thats such a good idea right now Bette.

Tina Im sorry for showing up here unannounced, but I had to see you.

Tinas expression changed slightly and she could feel the anger rising up inside her. I dont understand her at all. She doesnt try and talk to me for a week then she just shows up here. Tina looked away before answering and when she finally turned back to Bette she saw the loneliness in Bettes eyes. It made her almost give in, but then Tina remembered what they had been through these last few months and she stood her ground. When she spoke her voice was soft and gentle and Bette had almost forgotten what it sounded like.

Bette, what are you doing? You cant just keep coming in and out of my life whenever you feel like it.

I know Tina, Im sorry. Im trying to figure things out by myself, but I just miss you so much.

I miss you too, but Im trying to get my life back together too, and right now I think its better if we do that separately.

Bette looked down when she heard this. She didnt want to do this alone, but she knew that if she argued with Tina about it she would stay out of her life forever. Bette finally looked up and she was glad that there werent any tears in her eyes. She nodded her head and turned to walk away. As she was leaving she turned around to say one more thing to Tina.

It was never about you Tina. It was about me.

She turned and walked back to her car and got in. She felt the tears coming back but this time she held them down. Tina stood there watching Bette drive away and slowly walked back into her house. She felt proud of herself for being able to set boundaries with Bette and she knew it was for the best. Tina knew that deep down she wanted to be with Bette, but the question was how she could be with Bette. Tina had given up too much to be with her and she was not willing to do it again. Tina sighed to herself as she walked back into the living room.

Bette drove back home to her empty house and for the first time in weeks she really felt completely alone. Even being with Candace wasnt making her feel better and Bette didnt know what to make of that. After seeing Tina tonight and seeing how well she seemed to be doing, Bette decided she needed to get her ***** together. She walked around the house looking at all their pictures and the memories they had shared together. She walked into the guest bedroom and stopped when she remembered something. She had gotten a baby blanket made for their baby after she found out Tina was pregnant and she was going to give it to Tina after their son was born. Bette dug through the closet and pulled out the small blanket. She looked at it for a long time before putting it back and walking back to her bedroom. Okay, I need to prioritize my life, she thought as she cleaned up a little bit. She knew that the next few weeks were going to be hard but she finally got over the fact that she wouldnt be able to just go back to the life she once had. It was time for her to make a decision and this time around, she had to do it for herself.