I woke up Sunday to hear my phone ringing. I looked at the ID expecting to see either Ashley or Kyla, but this time it read Clay, my brother.

“Hello,” I answered with sleep still evident in my voice. Why is everyone calling me?

“Hey Spencer,” replied Clay.

“Hey Clay what’s up?” I asked confused by why he called me, but at the same time really happy he did.

“Not much I just kind of missed you,” he responded.

“I miss you too,” I replied truthfully. I’ve been missing him ever since he went off to college.

“It’s so weird when I home and I don’t see you there, remembering you don’t live there anymore,” he stated. My heart dropped.

“You should come up some time. I’d really like to see you,” I said.

“You could come down to Ohio too, that way I can see the whole family,” he insisted.

“Um, I don’t think I can go home Clay,” I replied.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I didn’t leave on good terms. Dad practically begged me to leave. I don’t think I’m welcome home,” I whispered miserably. It hurt so much to not be accepted by your own family. The fact that my own family didn’t want me to be part of their life tore me apart inside.

“What about Glen? He’s your brother I’m sure he wants to see you,” Clay assured me.

“He hasn’t called me. I haven’t called him either, but after everything he didn’t even talk to me the same anymore,” I replied. “He blames me for mom leaving too.” I shook my head remembering the way he looked at me. The images stained my brain. It was like a file in my life had been opened and everything was spilling out. Tears threatened to fall, but I held them back trying to hide the depression in my voice. Clay had always been there for me, even when my dad and brother blamed me.

“Then there idiots,” he replied catching me a little off guard. “She left because she’s self absorbed. Mom’s the worthless son of a bitch that walked out on us. So don’t you even think of beating yourself up again for her mistakes!”

“I know she’s the one that walked, but it still hurts to know they still blame me,” I responded. “I tried so hard to be everything she wanted me to be. She’s the one that screwed up. When are they going to see that Clay?”