-~-

            Ashley loved Spencer, she really did with all her heart. But it was so hard to stay away from the pull of the drugs. For two years she had relied on them, and used them as her protection from her pain. And now she not only felt the emotional pain, but also the physical. The physical pain, the withdrawals, the sweating, shivering, cravings, she could deal with that because she had her wife with her. She would curl into a ball, start to shake, and the blonde would be there with her, held her, and kept her grounded. It was difficult, but she could deal with it. What she couldn’t deal with were the emotions. She had been numbing them for so long that finally having to feel everything felt suffocating. Passing by Tate’s room brought out so much sadness, the brunette wasn’t sure she could take it. She loved the progress that her and her wife were making, but even the feeling of happiness felt like too much since she’d gone so long with feeling nothing. The only time she felt all her worries slide, when it seemed that nothing mattered, when she felt true bliss was when she was making love to Spencer.

            She was so sick and tired of feeling overwhelmed that in a moment of weakness she left the house and made the trek past the rich suburbs of Los Angeles and continued onto the shady neighborhoods. She finally reached the familiar territory of her dealer and spotted a gruff looking guy. She debated on whether or not she should actually be there, if she should actually be buying drugs. She knew if Spencer found out, she’d be upset and disappointed, and things were still rocky between them. Sure they had started to work things out, but two years is a long time to be away from someone you love. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go through with this. Her moment of clarity was ruined the moment her dealer walked up to her.

            “Haven’t seen you around in a few weeks…hope you haven’t found anyone new,” he said in a low dangerous voice but still managed to look casual.