As much as she loved the nine months, she also loved being a house mom. She loved taking things easy for once in her life. Although anyone that thought taking care of a child was easy, never had a child. She loved the normalcy of it all. Spencer and her watched him grow up and spent as much time as possible with him. They tried their best not to spoil him, but it was difficult, and more often than not, it was Spencer who bought him a new toy or took him out for ice cream before dinner. Overall, they had a great life, and Ashley couldn’t be happier.

            Then the day came. The day that Ashley would never forget. She could remember the exact date, September 5, 2015 at 10:34 in the morning. Prior to that specific time, everything had been going on just like every other day. Everything had seemed so normal. She’d heard people say that when these things happen, they had a gut feeling that something bad would happen, that their instincts kicked in. But nothing seemed different to the brunette. The day was normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Spencer left the house for work, kissing her wife and her son goodbye, and after feeding Tate and getting him ready for the day, she asked him what he wanted to do.

            “I wanna ride my trikey!” he told her in a very matter-of-fact voice, and she couldn’t help but laugh at his personality, which was a mixture of both his mothers.

            “All right, but only for an hour. Then we’ve gotta go shopping and then take Mommy her lunch,” Ashley told him, and he nodded in response. The brunette loaded up the car, put his tricycle in the back, strapped him into his car seat, and took off towards the park. She unloaded the tricycle, placed a helmet on his head, which he complained about wearing, and then they were about to head across the street to the park when Ashley realized that she left her water bottle in the car.

            “Stay here,” she warned her son, and took the four steps back to their car. But Tate started towards the end of the sidewalk, ignoring his mother’s words as most three year olds do. Suddenly Ashley tensed as she heard the sound of tires screeching, and spun around to find her young son lying on the ground unconscious. The water bottle fell out of her hands and she took off before it hit the ground. Her heart was racing as she ran to his side screaming at the on lookers to move out of her way. She was begging and pleading for him to still be alive.

-~-

            He hadn’t made it. Three years old, and his life was ended. Drunk driving was the cause of the accident, and Ashley was furious. Who the fuck gets drunk at 10:30 in the morning and then decides to drive? The man got vehicular man-slaughter, and was put into prison, but that didn’t help ease the pain. It didn’t stop Ashley’s heart from breaking, and it didn’t bring Tate back. Her happy-go-lucky son had been killed. She had turned to Spencer for her support. She had needed her wife so desperately. And they tried to be there for one another but Spencer was overcome with grief, and pulled away. Finally the blonde had broken down and told the brunette they couldn’t be together because all she could see when she looked at Ashley was their little boy, and she couldn’t take it anymore.

            So Ashley had left. Despite wanting to stay, needing to stay, she left for Spencer. And now all she had left were her drugs and the alcohol. The only things she could rely on. And the only person who saw her on a regular basis was her dealer. Other than that, she stayed locked up in her room wallowing in self-pity and hatred. If she hadn’t turned her back, if she hadn’t reached for the water bottle, if she had just kept her eye on her son, he’d still be here, and she’d still be with Spencer. But now, she was left with nothing.