I reach the bar in disappointment. It’s becoming clear to me now that I might not find her tonight. The bartender makes his way over to me.

"Water."

"Coming right up." He smiles at me. I frown. With a laugh he places the drink down in front of me, and wanders down to the other side of the bar. Ignoring the water I decide it would be best to camp out by the women’s restroom. I figure she’ll have to go at some point, and if she doesn’t then she’d still have to walk by to get to the exit…

~

I’m high… No, that isn’t the right word. High doesn’t paint the right picture in your mind. I’m not sure any word can. Everything feels… I don’t know it just feels like so much more. The girl on my arm appears to be like no one I’ve ever met, the remixed gangster rap is actually appealing, hell even the recycled club air seems to be more refreshing.

"You wanna get outta here." Says the girl I’ve spent most of the night with.

In truth I don’t want to leave here with her. I’d much rather take a cab back to my place and enjoy the rest of my high in peace. I guess my body and mind aren’t in sync tonight because instead of declining like I should I simply nod my head and allow her to lead me to the exit.

———————

Nothing is really registering in my mind. All I know is that I’m currently being taken advantage of on the hood of her car in a deserted parking lot, and even in the fucked up state I’m currently in I don’t like it.

"Stop." I repeat myself once more. When I realize she isn’t going to comply I wiggle out of her grip and take a few steps back.

"Take me home."

"Why?"

"I don’t feel well."

I can see the disappointment in her eyes as she leads me around to the passenger door. She motions for me to get in.

Something comes over me and instead of entering the car I grab her and press my lips against hers. Suddenly my knee shoots out, makes contact with her stomach, and I find my hands wrapped around her neck.

I’ve caught her off guard; hell I think I caught myself off guard as well. She struggles as her face turns red. Briefly I wonder why I’m doing this. I wonder what’s come over me. Why aren’t the drugs containing this side of me?

I should let go. I need to let go. I don’t let go.

~

Thoughts??