“Where the fuck are you getting all of this from? Seriously Ash, you’re acting like you’ve returned to puberty or something!” Kayley sighed and took Ashley’s hands in her own, making her friend look at her. “Listen to me. I don’t know what got into you or who filled your head with fairytales but she’s with you. She loves you. Hell, didn’t she break up with this girl because she wasn’t you?” Kayley smiled when Ashley meekly nodded. “See. I’m telling you, you’re seeing things that aren’t there. Now snap the fuck out of it, will ya?”

“Snap.” Kenny said and threw his magazine to the side, almost hitting Beverly in the face. “You heard the woman. Get over it. She’s doing you, not the tramp from the past.”

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” Kayley stated and narrowed her eyes at the waiter.

“I know.” Kenny grinned and turned his head towards Ashley again. “What’s it gonna be?”

Ashley bit her lip and processed all the facts in her head. Besides the fact they were indeed together, Spencer did break up with Sam because she wasn’t her. So basically, why would she wanna hook up with Sam if she had Ashley? That didn’t make any sense. Who in their right mind would take some tramp over her anyway? She was hot damnit! And fine, a little crazy around the edges but loveable anyway. What possibly could this Sam have that she didn’t have?! Nothing.

The brunette smiled and grabbed a menu. “Sam is peanuts compared to me. Fuck that.” She settled back with the menu and asked, “Who’s paying?”

Kayley laughed. “You are bitch, for putting us through this ten minute long mini-drama of yours. Next to time you want to channel some teenage angst, please don’t drag me into it. I get enough of it at the academy!”

“Say, you don’t happen to bump into any nice officers at that academy of yours, do ya?” Kenny asked and leaned in, very interested in the answer.

“Why?” Kayley once again narrowed her eyes at Kenny and wondered if the man got any at all. She highly doubted that, going on the way he was acting.

“Well, you know, potential meat honey!”

“Have you ever heard of “don’t ask, don’t tell”?

“I’m not asking and I’m sure as hell not telling. I can spot a swinger from a mile away, so I just need to be seeing, cupcake.” He said with much confidence and smirked at Kayley rolling her eyes.

“Hey, bananapie, cut it out.” Beverly, who had remained quiet during the intervention, said and smacked her friend’s forehead. “Weren’t you seeing that guy from that thing, or something, anyway?”

“That’s so passé, my lovely cucumber. He’s so last week.”

“You’re worse than her.” Ashley said and pointed at her best friend. “She usually keeps them two weeks, at least.”

“Hey!” Kayley replied and glowered at the brunette sitting on the other side of the table in front of her. “Like you can have your wicked way with someone in a week’s time. You need minimum two weeks to get them to learn what buttons to push. Is all I’m saying.”

Beverly rolled her eyes at the other three’s perverted conversation and waited patiently for her friends to stop the bickering about how long it took to fuck someone thoroughly before you could kick them out on their ass. Like she cared. She would be happy with just a date. The rest were just added bonuses.

She released her breath slowly and thanked her lucky stars for making Ashley come to her senses before word got out about her freaking out and reaching Spencer’s ears. Now if only they knew what Sam was up to. Because call it intuition or not, the assistant knew Sam didn’t show up just to chitchat about the good old days.