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    Not Ready to Make Nice

    Story written on January 14, 2007 by Jacqueline.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 10
    Words: 3019
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=13178
    Author Notes:

    One-Shot taking place a month or so after the season 2 finale. Deals with character emotions rather than someone getting shot.

    It’s unopened; still has the plastic on it. I remember, I got this a long time ago. I wonder why I haven’t bothered to listen to it.

    I start to open it. Oh, now I remember why I never listened to it. “Dixie Chicks? Country? Country is not music, Spencer. You want music, you listen to rock. That’s the only music worth listening to.” You say it’s not music. Well, you know what? You’re not here to tell me what to listen to, anymore.

    I take out the CD and put it into my stereo. I set it to shuffle, and walk over to my bed, flopping down on it.

    The sound of the CD skipping while it searches for which song it wants to play at random is strangely soothing. It stops and begins to play a song that I don’t think I’ve heard before.

    It starts out with a guitar strumming some chords…All I can think about is you. I’m not paying attention to the song, anymore…

    Forgive, sounds good

    I’ve already forgiven you, I guess. It’s not always easy, but it’s what I do…I forgive. Even though people say it’s stupid of me to forgive you. I’m tired of listening to what everyone says.

    Forget, I’m not sure I could

    Forgive and forget always go together. It’s stupid, though. I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Forgiving was the easy part, but forgetting is a whole different ballpark.

    They say time heals everything

    Why do people always say time heals everything? What is time, anyway? Who knows. It’s been about two months since that day. The day you were asked to choose. It would’ve gone by faster if there hadn’t been that horrific gang thing. Luckily no one we were close to was hurt…physically, that is. I can’t say the same for emotional pain.

    But I’m still waiting

    If time heals everything, then I’m still waiting. Waiting for when this stops hurting so much. I didn’t know it was possible for my heart to just continue breaking. It’s almost like it wasn’t even whole to start with.

    I’m through with doubt

    When we were together, I always had this doubt in the back of my mind that you wanted something else. I pushed it further back into my mind hoping it would go away. It never did, but I’m done with it.

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    Comments

    1. Well, now I’m officially depressed. Thanks for that. Maybe you could do a continuation and make Spashley happy again? Cool use of the Dixie Chicks song though.

    3. insertcleveranswer-Sorry I depressed you. And I don’t know about a continuation. I’ll think it over. Thanks for the comment.frakin08-Yeah, it is pretty heartbreaking, but it’s what came to mind when I heard the song, and I had a screaming urge to write it down. I hope I didn’t depress you, as well. Thanks for the comment.=S

    5. Brownie points? Sweet, thanks. And yeah, I don’t like country either, but a friend of mine made me listen to the song and, well, the rest is history.

    6. Well, now I’m officially depressed. Thanks for that. Maybe you could do a continuation and make Spashley happy again? Cool use of the Dixie Chicks song though.

    8. insertcleveranswer-Sorry I depressed you. And I don’t know about a continuation. I’ll think it over. Thanks for the comment.frakin08-Yeah, it is pretty heartbreaking, but it’s what came to mind when I heard the song, and I had a screaming urge to write it down. I hope I didn’t depress you, as well. Thanks for the comment.=S

    10. Brownie points? Sweet, thanks. And yeah, I don’t like country either, but a friend of mine made me listen to the song and, well, the rest is history.

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