I refuse to always be soft spoken. I’m not going to give up and back down, and just let you walk all over me—treat me like I was nothing to you. I have to still mean something to you.

I’m still mad as hell

Now I can see why you always chose to be mad. Being mad almost makes it possible for the hurt to go away. Numbs down all your other emotions so all you feel is anger. I guess I can see the world from your perspective, now.

And I don’t have time to go round and round and round

I don’t have time to keep dwelling on this. I’ve got better things to do.

It’s too late to make it right

It’s too late to fix this. The damage has been done, and there’s no going back. You made your choice.

I probably wouldn’t if I could

I wouldn’t try to fix it if I could. It brought out a side of you that I’m glad I saw. If it never happened, then I would always be in doubt of your true feelings. Maybe heartache is better than living a lie.

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

I don’t want to be like you—mad all the time. In time, the anger will subside. I guess it’s okay for now.

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

People saying I should just move on. They just can’t see that I can’t.

Forgive, sounds good

You’ve been forgiven, but have I? Do you forgive me? I don’t even know what I need to be forgiven for, but forgiveness… It sounds good.

Forget, I’m not sure I could

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget it. Forget everything. It’s not possible.

They say time heals everything

How long do I have to wait for this to stop hurting? I don’t think I can bear to wait much longer. I’m here to say that emotional pain hurts way worse than any physical pain I’ve ever been through.

But I’m still waiting

I think I’m going to be waiting forever.

I hear the sound of the CD skipping, again. It’s looking for the next track it wants to play. I sit up and grab the remote on my bedside table, turing my stereo off.

I wrap my arms around my knees, hugging them to my chest. A single tear escapes my eye, and I curse it as it makes its way down my cheek.

So much for music being an escape. I wonder what the song was about. I’ll have to listen to it later.

I get up and walk back over to my desk, so maybe now I can focus on my homework long enough to get it done. I look back up at the shelf where I laid the picture frame down and pick it up.

I look at the picture inside, again. I study it a little harder as I trace her features with my index finger. Another tear falls and lands right inbetween our heads. I wonder if that’s supposed to mean something. Like something will always come between us.

Who knows, but this isn’t making me hurt any less. There’s certain things I guess I have to accept. And there are other things that I can’t deny.

I’m still in love with you, Ashley…