“So he was your first boyfriend?” Spencer asked the brunette.

“Yeah…and my last…I mean we had a couple of problems happen and I found him one day making out with Madison in the gym after a basketball practice. I was so angry that I went home and tore up all the pictures I had of him and me. That night I decided to go out with another boy that was on the basketball team to show Aiden…we were supposed to go to Gray’s…a club we went to all the time…but the guy wasn’t interested and took off with another girl. I was sitting there all night wondering what the hell had happened…I felt like such an idiot and I was about to leave when the most beautiful girl sat down with me.” Spencer could feel Ashley’s heartbeat speed up with the memory of this girl.

“She was just so beautiful…she said that she was at the door working and saw my date leave with another girl. She asked me if I wanted to go back to her place and I said yes. I mean I had thoughts of girls and how pretty they were but I never thought of them in a sexual way…that is until that night. She was so gentle and sweet…after that night I knew that I was different.” Ashley said leaning down to kiss Spencer.

“I wasn’t sure if I was gay or bi since I had been with Aiden so I had a couple of dates with other girls and a few guys. The guys definitely lost their appeal in my mind so I knew that I was gay at that point. I didn’t want to hide who I was; I wasn’t really aware of how much hell I was putting on myself for not wanting to hide though. One of the times my mom was actually home, I got the nerve to tell her. She figured that it was just another way for me to try to get more attention and laughed at me. Word got out about my dates with some other girls and Madison along with her other ‘friends’ confronted me one day after school. She asked if I was a ‘dyke’ and I looked her straight in the eyes saying that I was gay. She never let up on me about my sexuality and I snapped one day. Aiden was shocked to hear that I was gay but would always pull Madison off of me during our many fights. I started to think that I never wanted to be in a relationship again so I started to sleep around….a lot…I guess it’s horrible for me to say that none of the girls I slept with meant anything to me. I was just so alone that I needed to feel something…anything…especially after my dad died…I was so numb and I slept with I don’t know how many girls…” Ashley shook her head and took another sip of her wine glass.