Spencer started, “I’m so sorr—-”

“SShhhhh!”, Ashley snapped. “Don’t say anything right now.” Ashley’s voice was cracking. It was clear she had been crying and still was. Ashley softly continued, “You know I was so worried about you. I thought all night of how I should go to your house and help you get through this. How could I help this wonderfully, caring girl that was so genuine with me?”

Spencer let tears fall as her disgust with herself grew.

“So I get to school this morning so excited to see you. But I get pulled into the main office, and they tell me that…” Ashley’s crying had grown harder. Spencer desperately wanted to comfort her. In her heart, she felt so much for Ashley and hated herself.

“What the fuck! Spencer” Anger boiled over in Ashley as she raised her voice. “What the fuck! What the fuck! How could you? How could you fucking say that I forced you!? How?!” Ashley now glared at Spencer. “You wanted me Spencer! You wanted me to fuck you since the day we met!” Spencer winced at the words ‘fuck you’. She had definitely thought of Ashley as more than that, but now her actions had diminished their experience. Ashley slammed her hands against the roof floor, “Now you can fuckin’ say something! What the fuck happened!?”

Spencer gathered her thoughts. Every word that she would say would be important. She had never felt so guilty, so depressed, and so sick all at once.

“Ashley, I am so sorry…”

“Fuck sorry!”, Ashley was fuming. “Tell me how we get here?! What happened to the beach, the promise!?”

The sheer look on Ashley’s face was cutting. Spencer was visibly shaking. “When I got home, there was so much pressure. My mother, my father, and my brother were there waiting for me. They all knew what had happened. My mother went into a rage. I was so afraid. My family had never known this much about me. I didn’t know this much about me. And then she kept asking me, if you made me do it. The first time I walked away. And the next time…”

“You said fuckin’ yes”

“Ashley, I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to. It just came out of me. I was and still am so disgusted with myself.”, crying hysterically.

Ashley felt a very strange urge to comfort her. Although she hated Spencer for what she did, she had imprinted something on her heart. But this was not the time for that. Ashley stood up. Spencer reached to grab her leg. Ashley shook her loose. “Spencer, then fix it. Fix the fucking police that are probably at my house right now. Fix the fucking investigation the school has launched. Fix my fuckin’ broken heart then. Fix it!” Ashley stormed away.

Spencer jumped when she heard the roof door slam. Crying silently, she could not believe that her mother had taken things this far. She couldn’t believe what she herself had done. It was serious. She so badly wanted Ashley’s life to be okay even if she had to lose her.