Ch 2

“Hey Aid it’s me”

“Hi babe you ready to go?” I roll my eyes when he says this. It sounds eight kinds of cheesy when he calls me babe, unlike when Ash says it, because then my stomach does backflips. “I can come get you. You’re still at Ash’s right?”

“Yeah about that. I’m really sorry but I’m not feeling that good at all right now. Rain check?”

“Aw man Spence I was really looking forward to this.” He sighs, and then he says “Actually, it’s fine. Feel better hon, call me later love you.” And he hangs up.

For a moment, I’m mildly pissed that he just hung up like that, but then I remember I don’t give a shit. Its not that I hate Aiden, it’s just that I don’t love him. Or even like him. Truth be told I never did. But I can’t be gay. Can Not. It’s wrong.

But then there’s Ashley.

I think I love her. Okay, I know I do. That stuff I said earlier, about me just being protective, and that I wasn’t jealous and blah blah blah – all bullshit. She loves me too, but I can’t be with her. I can’t.

But even though I know this is wrong and whatever, I can’t help it, it’s like I’m drawn to her. She’s one of those people that are just completely captivating. She’s so beautiful, with her gorgeous curly hair, and her deep brown eyes. I swear to God I could get lost in them if she didn’t always pull me back. Then there’s the rest of her – aka her body. It’s absolutely amazing. We always go to the beach, so she’s perfectly tanned and we both go to the gym everyday, but she also has a lot of umm ‘other’ physical activities she does to keep in shape.

That’s another thing that intimidates me about Ash. She’s so experienced. I’m not saying she’s a slut, she’s the farthest thing from it, she’s just sexy and she knows what she wants and she goes after it. But, she’s been with all these girls, and I’ve had sex with Aiden, like three times. And that’s it. If me and Ash ever did get together, she might be amazing, but I would have absolutely no idea what I was doing.