Later that week, Chris, the newspaper chief editor was working late on the next issue. I snuck into the computer lab when he went to go find something. Quickly and quietly, I glued the keyboard and the seat. Watching him struggle was probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The chair was one of those heavy ass seats. I think he managed to get a few inches before he realized it was pointless, and he was fucking stuck. With no one else left in the building, he was figured out he was going to be there all night long.

So I waited until he fell asleep, then I went to the computer, typed in gay porn on google, and found a male porn star by the name of Ashley. When they found him the next morning, he had a lot of explaining to do. He didn’t hear the end of it for months. Needless to say, he never called me a dyke again.

It was another stupid fucking day at school. Even after a few weeks, I still couldn’t make it through the day without thinking about it and throwing up. It still made me sick. Teachers looked at me with their stupid fucking sympathy, but they didn’t understand. Nobody really knew how close me and Alex were.

I hadn’t really talked to anybody since that night. But my mom didn’t give a fuck, and Alex’s parents just looked at me with disgust and anger. Nobody, nobody understood. I guess for once I can just claim that I’m misunderstood, but it doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t take back what happened. It doesn’t bring her back from the dead.

I walked around everyday trying to pretend that she was walking next to me just like always. A smile would play on her face, and I’d be laughing at just about everything she said. When I’d look at her, I’d be wishing it was just us two alone. I’d be wishing that I could tell everybody how much I cared about this amazing girl. But she wasn’t next to me making me laugh. She was never going to be next to me again. She was gone.

So I did my best to try and get by, not saying a word to anybody. Until he opened his mouth and started the person I became…