“She won’t believe you,” I tried to convince her, when I couldn’t even convince myself.

“Oh, but I think she will. I think she’ll see what you’re capable of. The Carlin’s will kick you out. You’ll be back behind bars where you belong.”

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,” it was all I could get out before I jumped. Images came out in blurs. I could hear screaming, feel the vibrations of words coming out of her lips, but I couldn’t make it out anymore. I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to fucking hear anything she had to say. I could feel my fist become balls and come into contact with something hard over and over again. Red scorched my mind, burning everything in its path. So much smoke.

“Ashley,” it sounded like a dream. I could hear someone whisper my name, but I couldn’t see faces. The red, the red it was everywhere.

“Ashley.” I felt someone grab onto me, trying to drag me out of the burning building. They had to save Alex too. They couldn’t leave her.

“Wait,” I cried. But they weren’t listening. They kept trying to pull me away from her. Didn’t they know I couldn’t leave without her?

“You have to get Alex. You have to get Alex.”

“I will,” they whispered into my ear soothingly.

“You have to, you have to. Can’t, can’t leave her, please,” I mumbled the smoke taking over. I couldn’t breath. Everything was going black.

“Stay with me Ash,” cool hands ran over my heated back. “Stay with me.”

“I’m, I’m sorry Alex,” was all I could get out before it all went completely black…

It had been a months since the fire. I couldn’t believe it had even happened yet. My mind couldn’t except the fact that she was dead.

When I woke up, I was laying in someone’s lap. Looking around, I realized that I was laying on my bed. The fire was gone.

“Hey,” Spencer smiled at putting a stray hair behind my ear. “How do you feel?”

“I’m alright?” I lied weakly. I wasn’t ok. I would never be alright again. She was gone because of me.

“Do you remember what happen?” she asked running circles on my back. I didn’t deserve Spencer.

“Not really,” I sighed frustrated.

“Well, long story short Madison’s face is going to be swollen for the next couple of day.”

“Did she bleed a lot?” I asked wondering where all the red came from. God, it all felt like a dream still.

“No, she didn’t bleed all that much.”

“Where did the blood come from then?” There was blood. I knew there was blood. I could still taste it.

“Madison got in one good punch right before you took her out,” Spencer sighed making me realize the throbbing in my jaw for the first time. “So I’m going to say that the majority of the blood was from your hands and your jaw.”

“Spencer,” I didn’t know what she thought of me right now. “I‘m really sorry.” I needed her to understand why I punched her. I didn‘t want her to hate me.

“I know baby,” Spencer soothed.

“You‘re not angry?”

“No,” she whispered sending shivers through my body.

“Do you think your dad will kick me out?” I practically whimpered. I don’t know if I could take it if I couldn’t be around Spencer. I needed her so bad right now, and she didn’t even know it.

“Na, I explained the situation to him,” she stated adjusting her position so she was lying down next to me, her arms securing me safely against her before placing a kiss gently against my cheek. “You’re not going anywhere.”