Everybody from around came to watch it burn. They came just to watch it turn to ash and smoldering rubble. They might as well have started the fire, because there inactive response hurt just as much. Neighbors, teachers, senior citizens, even a little girl was out watching everything I’ve ever loved be burned. Nobody even gave a damn. Nobody cared that my heart was burning here too.

“Alex,” I whispered hoping she could hear me. She needed to know. She needed to know that I tried, that I love her.

“Alex I’m so sorry,” I sobbed. “I tried Alex. I tried.”

This time when I woke up, I felt tears rushing down my cheeks. I couldn’t get the image of the burning house out of my head. I kept seeing it. I kept seeing her. Nothing was fading. Every time I closed my eyes, every time I blinked, there it was. It haunted me. It was my fault. I didn’t deserve her. She didn’t deserve this.

“Ash,” Spencer must have felt me trembling, because she ran her hands over my arms trying to comfort me, but I still couldn’t get it out of my head. It was everywhere.

“Ash how can I help?” she asked sounding worried again. She always sounded so worried, and I never understood why. “Baby how can I help?”

“I don’t know,” I finally whispered. I didn’t know how to ever make it stop. The only thing that’s ever worked is Spencer. But tonight it just didn’t seem like enough to drown out the screaming images. It seemed to real.

“What if,” she paused thinking. “What if I sang you a song?” I just nodded my head, still battling the demons that tried to surface.

“Every single day

I find it hard to say

I could be yours alone

You will see someday

That all along the way

I was yours to hold

I was yours to hold

I’m stretching but you’re just out of reach

You should know

I’m ready when you’re ready for me

And I’m waiting for the right time

For the day I catch your eye

To let you know that I’m yours to hold.” I felt Spencer pull me closer so I could fee the vibrations coming from her voice as it washed over me relieving some of the pain.

“Every single day

I find it hard to say

I could be yours alone

You will see someday

That all along the way

I was yours to hold

I was yours to hold,” she finished planting a kiss on my cheeks. “I got you now Ash,” she soothed. “Everything’s going to be alright now baby. I got you.”