“Bad dream?”

“Something like that.” I could feel her study my face carefully before deciding to drop it.

“Cool.”

Your tears don’t fall and crash around me

Her conscience calls the guilty to come home

Your tears don’t fall and crash around me

Her conscience calls the guilty to come home

The moments die I hear no screaming

The visions left inside me are slowly fading

Would she hear me if I called her name

Would she hold me if she knew my shame

That night I fell asleep to my ipod again, just to fall back into the flames.

God, it always felt so real. The hot and heavy air heaved itself against me mercilessly. Running down that same damn hallway hopelessly, I screamed her name over and over again just to be met with a wall of fire enveloping her door.

“Alex, Alex, Alex,” I tossed and turned, fighting with the covers I was tangled in, sweat covering my body.

“Ashley, Ashley,” shooting up, I was met once again with a very concerned looking Spencer.

“Sorry,” was all I could think of saying as I felt a bead of sweat run down my face, the heat from the flames still blazing in my eyes.

“Are you alright?” she asked knowing that she shouldn’t expect anything more than fine.

“Yeah,” I sighed still dwelling on the dream, never able to shake it right away. Sometimes it took days to completely shake.

“Well,” she paused biting her lip and looking cuter than ever. “Do you want some company?”

“Um Sure,” I replied slightly baffled at her offer, but just as thankful. Scooting over for the girl, I felt her lie next to me and pull the covers over both of us.

“Thanks,” I whispered into the darkness.

“No problem.”

There’s always something going wrong

The path I walks in the wrong direction

There’s always someone fucking going on

Will someone help me please please please

Your tears don’t fall and crash around me

Her conscience calls the guilty to come home

Your tears don’t fall and crash around me

Her conscience calls the guilty to come home

For some reason, feeling the girl next to me was kind of comforting. Just to have her presence be there, and her body heat spreading across mine, it soothed me. This time when I feel back asleep, I didn’t fall back into the flames. I don’t remember what I did end up dreaming about, but it was the first dream in awhile that wasn’t haunted with my nightmares. I didn’t quite understand it, but maybe just maybe, I found something that worked, someone that could actually help.

This battered through my skin before

The broken bones they heal no more

With my last breath I’m choking

When this separates I’m hoping

My world is over one last time

Let’s go

Would she hear me if I called her name

Would she hold me if she knew my shame

Every night after that when I would wake up screaming, Spencer would crawl into bed next to me not saying a single word after she shook me awake. Instead, she just curled up under the covers and let her company rock me back to sleep. I didn’t know why it worked. We really hadn’t talked all that much since I’ve gotten here. Although, I probably talked to her more than any of the other Carlin’s. But either way it worked, it did. She would never say anything about it the next morning, and I thanked her for that. Maybe if she never found out, she couldn’t hate me as much as I hated myself.

There’s always something going wrong

The path I walks in the wrong direction

There’s always someone fucking going on

Will someone help me please please please

Your tears don’t fall and crash around me

Her conscience calls the guilty to come home

Your tears don’t fall and crash around me

Her conscience calls the guilty to come home

Your tears don’t fall and crash around me

Her conscience calls the guilty to come home