You know, I’ve never met anyone who actually liked Shreveport. Johnnie Cochran was born here and I think that says a lot. Flamboyant lawyer anyone? No morals, easy money? I’m sure I’m being horribly unfair on the place, but then again, I haven’t exactly seen the best of it here.

I never see the best of any city. I wonder if Ashley knew I was following her, if she’d reflect on that. She’s taken me on a tour of the dives of the southern United States. I don’t think she intentionally set out for me to talk to more crack whores than I’d ever thought existed but hey, there had to be an upside right?

No, that makes it sound like I’m mad at her. I’m not mad at her, I understand. She’s trying to blend in, trying to escape. She’s looking for places where she can sink into the walls and no one will care. Where she can walk out the door and if she doesn’t come back, they’ll shrug and her replacement will be slinging beer before the hinges stop squeaking.

She picks the scummiest jobs, I guess it’s part of the allure. I wish she’d stay in one place. Ok, obviously I wish that because it would make my life so much easier but actually, that’s not why I wish it. I’m over being selfish with Ashley, all I’ve been is selfish with Ashley. I want her to stay because it would mean she’d finally found somewhere else she felt at home, somewhere with friends. A place she was happy. All I want now is for her to be happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking for her in the hope that when I find her, I can be the one that makes her happy, and convince her of that. But if I can’t, then I’ll do anything, and I mean anything, to make sure she’s happy otherwise. I sure as hell won’t let her keep working in these fucking dives because man, they are starting to piss me off.

This one has to be the worst one ever.

I mean, Shreveport, or so I thought, was supposed to be a nice old town. It has that oil history you know, some richness to it. You picture Steel Magnolias… well I did anyway. Whatever part of Shreveport that’s supposed to be in, it’s not where I’m standing now.