Chapter 1: Over 'ere Briney Marlin'

Somewhere in East London, probably in crappy Brixton.

Going to East London is kinda like going to Bensonhurst in Brooklyn, one big dump with a lot of white trash (or as they would say here 'pikey'). East London is the English-speaking White Trash capital in the world, I don't care what anybody thinks or says (OK so maybe West Liverpool is even bigger..). It's more white trash than West Virginia and Nova Scotia combined, and believe me there's LOTS of Hosers in Nova Scotia (Don't know what Hoser means? Then look it up in Wikipedia). The reason why I said "English-speaking" is because there's still Poland and Russia. Especially when I come to this area I see a whole lot of Chavs. I feel insulted when I see them, they take a lot of African-American Hip-Hop culture and yet they go around calling black people 'knick-knocks' (means nigger).

I went to meet Yvonne Atkins the other day at her home in East London. She's a hideous looking bitch but she's cool, especially with her new haircut she looks like Glenn Close, UGH! She met me in the States when she was looking for someone to kill a guy that owes her and her late husband Charlie money.

"Over 'ere Briney Marlin'. " with her God Damn Cockney accent. Here she goes again with that Rhyming Slang bullshit, a type of slang that the working class in East London uses.

"Please don't be using that Rhyming Slang shit on me. I hate it very much."

"I won't if ya daan't use that Ebonics bollocks from the bleedin' States." She said with her usual charm.

"I'm not from the States Yvonne, even though I lived in the States for a long time."

"Sorry darlin', I keep on forgettin'."

"So what's the problem now Yvonne? Another boyfriend of Lauren you don't like? Somebody hasn't paid? One of your girls grassed on you?" For those who don't know, grassed means to tell or snitch.

"Na somethin' worse and I kna you're the chuffin' perfect geezer for the job." (No something worse and I know you're the perfect man for the job. In England 'geezer' means dude, not someone who's old and crusty.)