‘Ashley?’ I said slowly leaning in next to her taking the blade from her hand. I touched her hand for the blade but she suddenly jerked it away.

‘Ashley..give me the blade.’ I said slowly reaching over.

‘NO.’ She said quietly.

‘Ashley give me the blade.’

‘No, Spencer.’

‘Ashley give me the fucking blade.’

‘No.’ She said jerking away.

‘What are you doing Ashley…’

‘I need to.’ She said holding onto the blade tightly and holding out her already cut arm.

‘Ashley. Please, don’t do this.’ I said holding onto her hand.

‘Spencer let go.’

‘Your going to kill me if you do it.’

‘Spencer let go!’ She moved away and inserted the blade into her arm.

I looked in disbelief as I saw Ashley cut herself. The love of my life inflicting pain on herself, because of..of me? My thoughts were stopped by the sound of Ashley’s quiet sobbing. I gently took away the blade easily as I patted her bleeding arm with my sleeve. Slowly I wrapped my arms around her and brought her closer to me.

‘Please, Ashley. Don’t do this ever again.’ I replied softly holding back the tears. I pulled down her sleeve and covered the deep cut.

‘Spencer.’ She whispered.

‘Ashley.’ I said as my voice cracked. I held her tightly in my arms as I gently rocked us back and forth. She looked up into my eyes. I could see the pain in her eyes as one single tear rolled down her cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb.

‘I can’t do this.’ She said crying softly into my shoulder.

‘Ashley. Please. You need to stop. I need you to be strong.’

‘My mom kicked me out. She found out I was gay. She saw a picture of us on my nightstand.’

‘Oh, Ashley. I’m so so sorry.’ I said beginning to cry.

‘I..I’

I shushed her as I closed my eyes and stroked her hair with my fingers.

‘I love you, Spencer.’

‘I love you forever and ever, babe.’ I smiled and kissed her on the cheek. We sat there on the bathroom floor crying softly.