“Every girl at the school would love to be in your position…” still not listening to anything I’ve said. I wanted to shout to bad, but I never could…

“Ok,” was all I said before taking the phone out of her hands. “I’ll call him back, and do something with him tonight.” She expected me to be perfect, so that’s what I had to be.

After I called Alex, I went up to my room. This was the first time since yesterday that I had even thought about him. He didn’t cross my mind once last night. Was that normal? Yet, Ashley was already on my mind. I should have gotten her phone number…

I could hear her laughter in my head, and I couldn’t help but smile. Nobody had ever had this effect on me before. Nobody. Part of me wanted to talk to her, call her on the phone and tell her how much I hated trying to be perfect for everyone, the other part of me knew I couldn’t. Would I be able to talk to her at school? I don’t know if I could go back to just stealing glances. Why though… Thinking, I sprawled out on my bed and stared at the plain white ceiling.

And then it hit me like being run over by a steam roller. I had fallen for her.

It couldn’t be though, right? I mean, no, there’s just no fucking way. I’m dating the school’s god. How could I fall for Ashley Davies? How could I fall for a girl, the school outcast?

“Shit, shit, shit,” I was muttering under my breath while I paced back and forth in my confined walls. “No, it can’t be right? I mean I’ve never even questioned my sexuality really before. But I can’t, no, I have certain expectations to uphold. She probably doesn’t even like me back. Wait, that doesn’t matter Spencer it can’t happen,” I argued with myself out loud.

Just when I thought my head was going to explode, my phone rang…

“Hello,” I picked up still frantic.

“Hey Spence,” Kyla greeted me.

“Kyla,” I shouted a little too enthusiastically.

“Are you ok Spencer?” Kyla asked.

“Fine, I’m fine,” I replied. “Hey is Ashley there,” I felt slip out.

“Um, I think so. Why?” Now Kyla sounded really confused. “Spencer did you hit your head or something?”

“Never mind,” I tried to cover up what I had just said. “Um, so what’s up Kyla?”

“I was just wonder if you’d seen my purple shirt.”

“Nope,” I replied, but couldn’t help but smile and think of the bottom of Ashley’s bed. Is that normal?

“Ok, I’ll ask Madison then. Hey what happened to you yesterday?”
“I uh,” I tilted my head coming up with an excuse. “I just fell asleep when I got home…” That was a horrible excuse. I never stay home Friday nights.

“But I‘m gonna go, bye Kyla.”
“You’re sure you’re ok, right Spencer?” Kyla asked.

“Positive.”

“Ok, I’ll see you later then,” she stated before I heard the click when she hung up.

Taking a deep breath, I fell back into my bed.

“I’m so screwed.”