The stage is set, the props are in place and the lighting and music are ready to go. Now I just need the actor. As if on cue, Bette walks through the door talking angrily on the phone. She doesnt even look at me as she slams down her bag and continues to rant and rave while pacing back and forth. She is an actor and these are her lines. This act, this faade, I know it well. I want to run to her and throw my arms around her and feel her lips on mine, but I have to wait. I must be patient because its not my turn yet. I watch the days frustration take its toll on her body and I can hear exhaustion in her voice. She moves purposefully, but so gracefully and I am taken aback for a second. Her body is a treasure and she shares it with me lovingly. But I have paid quite a price for it and she will never forget it.

She is done and finally she turns and looks at me. A smile dances across my face as I take in her beautiful form. Legs longer than the countless hours she spends at work, arms so strong that when they pull me close it hurts sometimes, a smile so radiant it always makes me smile in return, and eyes so precious that when I look in them I fall deeper and deeper in love with her. She walks over and kisses me and I instantly forgive her for all her transgressions. I cannot deny her anything when she kisses me like that and she knows its the one power she has over me. Her tongue begs to play with mine but I stop her. Its not time for that yet. That doesnt come until the final act.

She holds me so close that I can smell her fear. Fear that she is vulnerable and weak and fear that I can see that part of her. But what she doesnt know is that is what makes her real, my knight in shining armor so to speak. I wrap a hand in her hair and smile at her with loving eyes. Our bodies interlock like two halves of a broken heart and I know she is crying inside. I smooth away her hair and she smiles again causing me to momentarily forget everything else around us. We eat quietly, this scene constantly on repeat even though we try our best to hurry through it. I watch her as she loses herself in her thoughts and I can see the worry in her eyes. She can hide everything so well from the rest of the world but not from me. I can break through the first set of walls she puts up, but I never get all the way inside. Thats not who she is. She needs to keep everything at a certain distance, but I am the closest she will come to knowing true emotion. Love, loss, forgiveness, and compassion. I have taught her these things and I know she loves me because of that.

We change for bed and I sit and watch her quietly. She stands before me completely naked and I have to look away. Her body is too much, but I dont have to see it to know exactly what it looks like. I know every curve, every line, and every scar. Even the invisible ones. She reaches for me and I know what she wants. She embraces me before kissing me softly and my knees buckle in her closeness. We lay on the bed and I look at her body with adoration and love. Her physical beauty knows no bounds and I run my fingertips lightly over my prize. She sighs and I feel the weight lift off her shoulders. Here, in our bed, she is free. Free of worry, free of stress, free of guilt. It is the one place she always looks to find me and the one place I know she will always return to.

She kisses me gently again and I cannot help but surrender my body to her wishes. She is silently telling me she loves me and I respond by giving her access to anything she desires. She looks down at me and I fight back the urge to cry. I see it in her eyes. She is lost, confused and in so much pain and I am the only one who can make it right. Its these times that I treasure most. These times when she lets me inside unbeknownst to her that I get past all her walls and feel her heart.

She runs her hands down my body, worshiping me, thanking me for loving her, and I shiver in delight as she begins her quest to pleasure me. I have learned a long time ago that fighting her is a losing battle. I have to let her dictate things to make her feel in control. I need to appease that part of her and make her feel powerful. She is incomplete without it and I cannot stand to be the cause of her pain. She enters me slowly and I feel her fingers go in so deep that they brush against my heart. She is on top of me softly whispering little nothings into my ear and I pull her closer trying to show her how much I love her. A tempo develops and soon she is moving with me and we are dancing a dance we have done a thousand times. I know the beat by heart, it is my life entwined with hers, resulting in a climactic finale that leaves us both speechless. The perfect ending to this continuous play.

A silent calm takes over both of us and she reaches out for me bringing me close to her heart. I feel her shake, trembling out of love, and I rub her back soothingly. She is a paradox to me: so strong on the outside and so vulnerable on the inside. I know she is nothing without me because I am even less without her. She kisses me softly and I know the charade is over. It is one she must put up day after day but soon she will realize it was all for nothing. Her strength comes from inside and one day she will see that. But for now its up to me to keep that safe and hidden for only us to share. I kiss her softly, trying to tell her everything I am feeling, and I know she is content by the sound of her sigh. We eventually drift to sleep still in each others arms but I fight it as long as I can because these are the moments I will always hold dear. In her arms, in our bed, she is not the Bette everyone else sees. She is my wife, the reason for my everything and its these times that I get to see her for who she really is.