It Wasnt Always Like This


The crash of glass on glass and the sight of the red wine running down the front window as Jenny ran down the front walk was enough for one night. I had not even wanted to have this fiasco. Damn Francesca for inviting Jenny to dinner. I begged her not to, but once she has an idea in her head it is useless to argue. All I could do was hope for the best. But, as Jenny was running down the front walk and Francesca was standing in the kitchen with that smirk on her face, I could not take any more. Without speaking, or even looking at her, I walked up the steps. As I was getting into bed, I heard the front door slam. Francesca had either gone out to clean up the glass, or more likely she had simply left. The glass would be there for me to clean up in the morning, as would the dinner dishes, and the rest of the mess left in the wake of this horrible evening.

Now, as I lay in bed, a small hollow laugh escaped me. I dont know why I thought Francesca might come up to me. Dont know why I thought she might apologize. Part of me is glad she left, I am so mad that I do not want to see her after the way she acted tonight; and, yet, I also long for her and am hurt by her leaving. As I lay, wondering if Francesca will be back at all tonight; wondering if I will ever see Jenny again; I feel something sliding down my temple. I swipe at it, and find a tear. When was the last time I cried? I do not even remember.

************************************

Alone, in the dark and the silence, unable to sleep my mind drifts back over the evening. Jennys words come back to me like a dagger.

So this is what the two of you do. You go and you make these little conquests and then you go home and you compare notes. You try to make each other jealous in order to find the other desirable.

She was not far off the mark when she described what Fran and I have, what we have become. How did it come to this? It was not always like this


It was a warm spring day. The first spring day of 1996. The sky was a perfect cloudless blue and the breeze was warm. It was such a pleasant day after the cold dreary winter that seemed to never end. I had the day off. I was going to go to the museum to see the Da Vinci exhibit. I had been dying to go, but not found the time. This was the day and I was almost out the door; I knew I should not have answered the phone when it rang.

That is how I ended up working that first beautiful day of spring. That is how I came to meet Francesca. The call was from the caf. The usual caterer had called in and the food had to be taken to the theater. It was already late and they had called 3 times. Please, just come pick it up and drop it off on your way to your date with Da Vinci. My boss had pleaded; I should not have agreed; but I could rarely turn her down. When I arrived at the theater, I didnt see a soul and I thought I had the address wrong. I double checked the address and then I went further into the large lobby; that is when I saw the man and woman arguing. She was yelling something about the fabric being all wrong. She had wanted this fabric and not that fabric. And the color of that was all wrong. It would clash with the blah blah blah. I lost track of the argument as I focused on the screaming woman. She was perhaps 10 years older than I, but she was quite striking despite the horrible tantrum she was throwing. Her golden hair bounced off her shoulders as she gestured wildly. She seemed petit next to the man who stood almost a foot talker than her, yet he was cowering in her anger. He just stood there apologizing and looking at the floor. I didnt realize I was staring until she turned her anger on me asking What the ***** are you looking at?

Taken aback, I replied Just another loud, obnoxious American causing a scene and casually turned to go out and begin unloading the food. I could hear the man trying to choke back a laugh as I walked from the building. When I came back with the food, the woman was gone and the man directed me where to put everything. He also handed me 2 tickets to the opening performance and said, Ms. Wolff left them for you. As he glanced back over his shoulder making sure she was gone, he added Ive never seen anyone speak to her like that. But after you left, she asked me to give these to you. You are lucky. Normally she would see you fired for that.

I took the tickets and figured I could give them to someone at work. Maybe even trade a day off for the tickets. They were very good seats.

Nearly a month had passed, and there she was at the caf. I noticed the beautiful blond as soon as she walked through the door. She looked familiar, but I couldnt place her. Probably someone Id met at a club.I couldnt remember. Then she caught my eye. I still couldnt place her, but she clearly recognized me. She marched behind the counter and right up to me demanding to know where I was last night. I had no idea what she was talking about. I just looked at her, waiting for her to explain. She stared at me waiting for an answer. When the silence had stretched to well over a minute, we both let out a small laugh.

She said, a bit softer than her initial outburst I looked for you last night. Someone else was sitting in the seats I gave you. What happened?

Finally, I remembered her and realized what she was talking about; I almost felt bad, but who did she think she was? I had no idea she would even remember me or giving me the tickets. I had to work, so I gave them to a friend. I replied. I caught a customers eye and nodded to say Id be there in a moment.

Fran glanced over her shoulder at the customer, then turned back to stare at me for a moment; and then asked me what I was doing that evening. I looked down at the apron I was wearing and then back at her and said working. She told me to get off work and meet her at the theatre where I had delivered the food at 7:30 pm. Use the actors entrance. Ill see you at 7:30. Fran said. It was more of a command than a request. She turned to leave before I could even respond. As she was about to pass thought he door, she hesitated slightly and said Oh, and dont be late. I hate it when people are late. The comment was thrown over her shoulder without her even looking back.

I turned and stomped angrily into the kitchen. How did this American get under my skin so? It seemed that every time I saw her, I wanted to scream. Of course I wasnt going to meet that woman. How dare she assume she can order me about like some dog at her feet. As the night progressed, I was able to put it behind me and actually enjoy my shift. It was not a bad night: I chatted with the regulars, answered the tourists questions about what they should not miss in the city and flirted with the cute girls. The night passed, I finished my shift and stepped outside. My back was to the street as I took one last look to make sure everything was ready for tomorrow and locked the door. I felt the presence of someone behind me and whirled around ready for a fight. I had been robbed not 3 months earlier. That was not going to happen again.

To my surprise, relief and then horror, it was not a thug or a thief. It was her. That bossy, horrible woman. What was she doing here? And at this hour.

Standing directly behind me, hands on her hips, she snapped Thats twice youve stood me up.

I considered this as I looked at her. She looked good. She was smaller than I, but strength and confidence emanated from her like heat off of the street in August. Her body was tone, but not muscled; it looked firm, and yet soft. The heels she was wearing showed the well defined muscles of her calves. Her skirt was loose and flowing off of her hips. She was wearing a low-cut and very loose fitting blouse that allowed me to see her *****. She had no bra on and her nipples were hard from the chill in the night air. Letting my eyes travel upwards, I saw that she had a half smirk on her face now—-aware that Id been admiring her body, but apparently not bothered by my roving eyes.

Thats twice youve stood me up. She repeated when our eyes met. Her voice was softer but there was still an edge of anger in it when she added, Im not used to not getting what I want.

Yes, I thought to myself, she is quite beautiful, but then she has to open the mouth.aye!

I stared at her considering what shed said. After a moment, I replied, I dont know what you are talking about. I turned and began walking down the sidewalk.

Oh, dont be obstinate. She barked after me. You know exactly what I mean.

That had done it. The anger exploded out of me as I snapped around face her. She was still standing outside the caf door. If I am not mistaken, to be stood up, implies that there was a meeting mutually agreed upon by both parties. I agreed to no such thing. I couldnt have. Nobody asked me to meet them. I hesitated. When she didnt move or reply, I continued As for you not being accustomed to not getting what you want, I am sorry for you. It must be very sad getting and having everything you want in life. What does that leave to look forward to? What does that give you to hope for?

The look on her face was a mixture of rage, surprise and something I couldnt quite identify as she stood with her eyes narrowed, mouth half gaping open, hands hanging limply at her side. But, I calmly turned and continued down the side walk. She did not reply, and she did not follow me. It was a relief; Id had a long day and I was too tired to deal with her ego. How could that beautiful woman be so damn abrasive? It must be like rubbing against sand paper to make love to her. I laughed at the image my own description flashed before me. But almost immediately that image was replaced as the image of her body flooded into my mind. Her legs wrapped around me. Her tiny nipples hardening under my finger tips. My lips sliding over her collar bone. Okay, I thought, I guess there is that..there is her body. Something else slowly crept into the shadows of my consciousness. With a small gasp of surprise and perhaps a twinge of fear I realized I was disappointed that she had not followed me.

**************

I arrived at work the next day late. I was opening that morning, and after closing last night, I was dragging a bit. It was at times like this that I appreciated what many called my obsessive and controlling nature. Ive been told, by more than a few people, that I was the personification of the axiom There is a place for everything and everything in its place. But this brought order to my life and saved me the worry and time of lost keys, misplaced bills, and endless clutter that plagued my friends. And true to my nature, the caf was ready to open; everything was ready this morning just as I had left it at closing. All I had to do was open the doors.

The morning crowd came and went: Business men rushed in to get their coffee. Students lingered over croissants. Mothers with their children out for the morning walk with the dog stopped to get hot chocolate. Now, the later rising tourists were filling the tables. Couples in love holding hands at the small corner tables; they are too busy kissing and gazing at each other to eat or drink or to even be aware of the rest of us. Families with children. For many of them, this is the vacation of a lifetime. Something they have no doubt saved years for. Mom and Dad are tired and look like *****. The kids are fighting with each other and complaining about another day at some stupid museum or cathedral. College-aged youth away from home for the first time seeking the meaning of life; their over stuffed backpacks dropped at their feet as they try to pull themselves out of the hang over from last nights party with an espresso.

My parents and even my friends dont understand why I would want to work in the caf. You are beautiful and smart. Why do you waste yourself as a waitress? You could do anything you want. My reply is always the same I am doing what I want. I love my job. I see the whole world come through here every day. People from virtually every country on the planet have passed through here. Business travelers, honeymooners, vacationers, locals, neighbors —-they have all been here. I have seen money and poverty at these tables. Age and youth. Joy and sadness. Love and grief. I have seen it all. I watch it from a safe distance, from behind the safety of my apron. I am untouched by it.

That morning I was enthralled as another day of this living drama played itself out in front of me when the flowers arrived. I was not surprised and did not pay the delivery boy any mind as I waved him back to Jacquelines office. My boss husband often had fresh flowers delivered to her at work. They had been married 13 years and still had a passion normally reserved for new lovers. I was surprised when the young man returned from her office flowers still in hand and said She told me to give them to you. I looked at him and then I looked back to see Jacqueline standing in the doorway of her office trying hard to hide the smile on her face. He handed me the card; it had my name on it. Who the ***** was sending me flowers?

It was a small, simple but beautiful arrangement. Three roses, arranged with greenery in a squat blue vase. The roses were a hybrid with creamy petals ever so slightly kissed with a deep red on the very edges. I set them on the bar and thanked the delivery boy with a small tip.

I glanced back to see Jacqueline still watching me, then I moved to a small area beyond the bar that was removed from the customer area and Jacquelines office door before opening the card. The handwriting was smooth and pretty. It was the perfect penmanship that you are taught in school as a child but that most of us toss off in the name of style and individuality.


Marina,

Three roses. One for each time I failed to ask you out and one for the evening I hope you will share with me.

Friday 9:00 pm. I will pick you up at the caf.

Francesca


I fingered the small card. Lost again in the image of her small *****, fire-y eyes, and golden hair, and I unconsciously brought the card to my nose. The fragrance coming off the card was spicy and rich. It sent a spark through me. I recognized the smell; Id caught it on the breeze last night when she came up behind me. It was her perfume. It was the smell of her.

****************

As I lay in bed, enjoying the lazy morning my day off allowed me, I contemplated what I would do with my day. I was looking forward to going out to dance and drink and seduce Magdas pretty new friend that evening. She had called earlier in the week to tell me about a cute new girl that had just moved into her apartment building. She had insisted I go out dancing with them. I had agreed; it would be good to be out with friends and have a good time. Good to take my mind off of my other option for the evening. Tonight was the night Francesca had invited me on a date. But she had not called me this week to confirm; not that it mattered because I did not intend to accept the invitation anyway. Yes, she was beautiful. But, she was also loud, rude and arrogant. I knew better than to allow myself into that mixture. It was better to stop this before it started. I did not need the grief. But, I hadnt been able to get her out of my head all week. She slipped into my thoughts as I wiped down the bar. She was there when I cleared dishes from tables. She came crashing into my dreams at night. This was crazy. I shook my head in an attempt to clear this woman from my mind as I got myself out of bed and pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt. I was going to go for a run.

As I ran, I felt the sweat slide over my skin and the tension start to slip out of my muscles. I didnt know where I was going. Just running and enjoying the freedom it brought me. It was good to be in my own head, alone and clear. It was a beautiful spring day. Warm, but not hot. The sun was shining and the trees along the street were heavy with blooms of spring. I ran without thought, just enjoying the feel of my body moving. I was surprised when I found myself across town and in front of my favorite used bookstore. I had been so busy at the caf these past months that I couldnt remember the last time Id been in here.

Hi, Marina. Where have you been? It has been too long since I have seen you. Gabe greeted me with a hug and small kiss on both cheeks. He was an old friend and I had spent many an hour lost in his book shelves.

Im good, Gabe. Just busy working. You know how it is. How are you doing? You look good.

You flatter an old man, Marina, but thank you. he said with a laugh and a wave of his hand deflecting the flirtation.

I wondered towards the back of the store. Gabe had the most wonderful collection of books. He prided himself on the fact that he had the best selection in the city—on occasion he even claimed the country. He had every thing from the current popular selections by the likes of Michael Crichton, Anne Rice and Stephen King to the classics of Homer, Chaucer and Bronte. What I liked was that he also had obscure authors that were well off the beaten track and the best seller lists. As I cruised the aisles, I stopped to finger a few books, pulled some off the shelves and flipped through them. I even found a signed copy of a book by Ralph Moody. He had been a favorite author of mine as a child. By the time I reached the counter, I had 3 books, but not the Anne Carson Id hoped to find. Gabe smiled as he rang me up and placed my books in a small bag. I told him Id try not to let so much time pass between my next visit and left.

I roamed slowly down the street looking in windows and watching the people go by me. I stopped to get a small loaf of bread, some cheese and some grapes and went to the park. I sat under a tree and settled in to eat my lunch and dip into one of my books. I slipped my hand into the bag and removed the books. There in the pile was the Anne Carson book I had been looking for. A smile spread across my face. How had Gabe known? Had I mentioned it? I dont think so; but then, Gabe always knew about a good book. Id have to thank him.

The afternoon slipped away as I snacked and lost myself in the pages of my book. This was wonderful. The sun warmed my skin. The air was perfumed with the blooms of spring. As I stood up in the early dusk, I decided it was too perfect to end. What I really wanted was to stay home tonight. Alone. Id open a bottle of wine and curl up with my book. Id call Magda when I got home and tell her to have a drink and a dance for me; but tonight Id take a pass.

It was dark by the time I got home. I grabbed a quick shower and slipped into some baggy jeans and a sweatshirt. I was more than half way through the bottle of wine and 150 pages into my book when the buzz from buildings front door startled me. I knew it was not for me; it was nearly midnight. Magda would still be dancing. My other friends never showed up unannounced, especially at this hour. I ignored the buzzing knowing that it was not uncommon for a drunken friend of one neighbor or another, or a tenant who lost their keys, to just press all the buttons hoping someone would let them up. Eventually, it stopped. I refilled my glass and had barely returned by my book when I was again startled, this time by a knock on my door. No, that had to be a mistake. Someone had the wrong apartment. I went to the door and peeked through the eye hole.

Oh my God. It was Francesca. Anger rose in me. How did she know where I live? What was she doing here? Could she not take a hint? Come on, even in American baseball isnt the rule three strikes and youre out? By her own words, this would be the third time Id stood her up. Would she not give up?

I looked around my tiny apartment and tried to figure out what to do. I had just decided to return to the sofa and ignore the woman at my door when the knocking came again, more insistent this time.

I dropped my voice an octave and replied in German hoping that shed think she had the wrong apartment. Who is it? What do you want? I barked.

Through the closed door, I heard the laughter burst out of her. I looked through the eye hole again and saw her. Even through the distorted, amusement-park-house-of-glass view the eye hole offered, she took my breath away. She was beautiful.

Marina. I know you are in there. Her reply was in perfect German. I didnt reply. I couldnt; all I could think was She speaks German? After a moment, she added I know this is your apartment. I know you live alone. Again, a pause and no reply from me. What was I gonna do?

Please open the door. Just for a moment. I only want to talk to you. Another pause with no reply from me and she continued. I waited for you for almost an hour at the caf; and it took me another 45 minutes to find you. Surely you can give me 5 minutes.

I certainly didnt want her coming in. Not now; not ever. But absolutely not tonight. Not after Id had almost an entire bottle of wine. Not while she looked like that.


I opened the door, but blocked the entrance with my body. The eye hole had not given me a full appreciation for her. She was wearing a relaxed, silk suit. It was a steely blue that set off her hair and her eyes. She was stunning. Again she caught my eyes as my gaze rose from her body. Her smile was warm and she asked if she could come in.

I hesitated in the door way before answering I dont think that is a good idea. What do you want?

I just wanted to talk to you. Please, it will only take a moment. Her voice was soft and almost pleading.

Against my better judgment, I allowed her to come in. I directed her to my sofa and asked if she wanted a glass of wine. She accepted and when I brought a glass for her, she spoke as I filled her glass, I just wanted to apologize. At first, as I was waiting for you at the caf, I was angry that you stood me up again; but then I realized that once again, I had failed to properly ask you out.

I was shocked. An apology was the last thing I expected out of this woman. I stared at her unsure what to say or do.

Francesca transferred her gaze to the glass of wine she held before she went on I sent you the flowers and the card, but the card was more of a dictate that a question. I never even called to ask for your answer. I just assumed youd accept.

All of her arrogance and bravado of our past meetings was gone, and she looked so fragile as she spoke, that I wondered if shed ever offered an apology to anyone before in her life.

I was also feeling the effects of the wine. I was afraid if I continued to look at her, all my anger and resolve would be lost.swept away by her soft voice and stunning beauty; I looked away from her, not wanting to be softened by this sudden, unexpected vulnerability.

I felt her eyes on me; they seemed to bore right through me. I continued to stare at the floor. The silence stretched and I reached for my glass.

As I swallowed the last of the wine from my glass, she continued I sometimes forget to leave the person I am at work at work. I work in a field dominated by men. She paused and a noise somewhere between a grunt and a laugh escaped her. You wouldnt think so as a costume designer, but it is. It is also populated by the greedy and the power-hungry looking for the quickest route to fame and fortune. If that happens to be over the backs of the quiet and meek, albeit more talented, then so be it. As a result, I learned early on that if I was going to have a career at all, I had to speak up and take what I wanted. If I dont go in loud and demanding and arrogant as *****, I am invisible and lost in the background. Francesca reached out and lightly touched my knee. I looked up into her face. Her expression was lovely and I was transfixed by it.

I felt like a school girl. What was wrong with me? I was not an innocent child with a first crush. I had had many women. And always I was calm and in control of the seduction. I was never the one that became silly and nervous. Yet tonight, my heart raced, my palms were sweaty and I felt as though there was a dense fog wrapped around my brain that prevented me from thinking.

I am sorry for the way I have acted Marina. I would really like to get to know you. Would you consider letting me try this again?

I gazed at her trying to absorb all that shed said. Trying to reconcile this with the woman Id met on 2 prior occasions. This was not the same woman. As I looked into her eyes, I saw sincerity; at least that is what I wanted to see.

She had removed her hand from my knee when I looked up, but still the heat of her touch seared my skin. All thought was fading from my mind and I was left with one simple fact: I wanted this woman. Like I had never wanted anyone before in my life.

I reached out and took her face in my hands. I leaned in and kissed her. I think it took her by surprise because for a split second she froze and acted as if shed never been kissed before. But, then she returned my kiss and it deepened as I leaned into her. I felt one of her hands in my hair and the other on my shoulder, her thumb gently caressing my neck. I slid one hand down to her breast.

Abruptly, Francesca pulled away, looking across the room away from me and cleared her throat. I think I should go.

What was she doing? Was she kidding? I brushed aside the stinging rejection and replied coolly Yes, I think you should.

I was up and walking towards the door when she grabbed my arm. No, please, I didnt mean it that way. I want to stay. She released my arm and glanced at the floor before looking up at me again. She went on, softly almost in a whisper, More than you can know, I want to stay, but that is not what I came over her for Marina. I dont want it like this. I want more than this, more than one night. I would really like to get to know you.

My reply was measured and cool, in an attempt to hide my confusion and unease. Well, you know where I work. I am there most days. I moved to open the door for her. She stopped in front of me and as she passed through the open door. She reached out and took my hand in hers and her voice was warm, but the look on her face was sad when she said Thank you Marina. I look forward to seeing you again.

She walked out and I closed the door without replying. I couldnt believe what had just happened. Who was this woman? As I turned off the lights and walked to my bed room, I wished I had gone dancing with Magda.

***********
It was Thursday afternoon when I saw her again. She walked into the caf just as I was getting off work. She was wearing jeans and a short sleeved print blouse and her hair was pulled up in a ponytail. She had on white sneakers and very little make-up. She looked good, very good. She waved at me and took a seat at a small table. I met her eye and smiled before I went into the back to gather my bag. I came back out front and walked over to her table. Im sorry; I was just getting off work. I had the early shift today.

Why are you sorry? I am here because I knew what time you would be getting off. She said.

I cocked my eyebrow, narrowed my lips and looked at her. Hm

Do you have plans? I know it is short notice, but I thought if you had time, you might show me some of your favorite places in the city. I looked at her and considered this. Unsure how I felt. Certainly, Id had a difficult time trying to get her out of my mind, but her just showing up like this..I wasnt sure I liked that. It is alright if you already have plans she added hastily.

I considered this and after a moment I said, Well, I have a couple of errands I have to run, but if would like to wait for me, they shouldnt take long. After that I know just the place we could go.

Francesca agreed and I got her a cup of tea and some biscotti before I left. I stopped at the grocery to get some cat food for Magdas cat which I was sitting while she was out of town on travel for a few days. Then I dropped off the days receipts at the bank for Jacqueline on my way home. I quickly showered and changed into clean clothes. I put out the food for Smudges and was back at the caf in less than an hour.

Francesca looked me up and down when I walked in and a smiled spread across her face as she said, You didnt need to change; you looked fine before. I thanked her and asked if she was ready to go.

As we walked out onto the sidewalk she asked, So, where are you taking me?

It is a surprise, just come along. I said mischievously. And I grabbed her hand and tugged her down the walk like a child.

It was not a long walk and we chatted about trivial things: the wonderful weather, how her play was coming along, how long Id worked at the caf. In less than 30 minutes we stood outside the cinema. Francesca looked up and asked You are taking me to a movie?

Not just any movie I replied. They are doing a series on the history of the cinema. This afternoon they are featuring the work of D.W. Griffith. The look on Francescas face was one of shocked disbelief. Oh, come on. You might like it. I teased

No. Um, I..I cant believe you know D.W. Griffith. I have seen all of his movies. I love Lillian Gish. He used her in many of his movies and she was headed for stardom. But when she refused to sleep with him, he ruined her. She had to leave Hollywood. She spent virtually the rest of her career on the stage in New York. There were some movies later on, but she was into her 60s by then

Good then. I replied surprised that she knew about this early film maker.

We got our tickets and went in to find a seat. Since it was only mid-afternoon and this was not exactly your main fare movie, we were virtually the only ones in the theatre. As we watched the series of 4 movies, I found myself distracted and watching Francesca as much as the screen. And my mind turned to the clich of the darkened theatre kissing and groping scene. I couldnt believe how strongly I was attracted to this woman. As I struggled to focus on the movies, Francescas hand slipped into my lap and found my own hand. Finally, I relaxed into my seat and enjoyed the film and the feel of her hand in mine.

After the last show, when we were standing back outside, she asked me if I was hungry. I thought for a moment and said that I could eat dinner. She said she knew a place and we caught a cab. The restaurant was small and dimly lit. As soon as we walked in, a man walked over to us and greeted Francesca with hug and kiss on the cheek asking where shes been and chastising her for staying away so long. Francesca introduced me to Luc and explained that he owned the restaurant. He looked at me, gazing up and down my entire body before he turned to lead us to a small table in the back. Once we were seated, he asked Francesca if she wanted to start with her usual wine. She nodded and he disappeared around the corner. She turned to me and smiled. Her gaze was so intense that I felt the blush rising in my cheeks.

I looked away and surveyed the restaurant. It was small and dimly lit; the tables were widely spaced apart ensuring a degree of privacy. The walls were draped a heavy burgundy fabric that made it feel warm and exotic. Each table had a small candle burning at its center. The only other light in the room was from a few small wall sconces.

Her voice brought my attention back to her. Do you like it? I discovered this place about 3 years ago on my first trip here.

I glanced back around before replying It is very nice. Ive heard of it, but never been here. I paused for a moment before continuing. It is interesting the things you take for granted when you live in a place. I have never been to many of the places I hear the tourists talking about in the caf.

I think that is the same for everyone—–you take for granted what you have. I grew up in New York City, but have never been to the Statue of Liberty. She laughed and added Of course, no self respecting New Yorker has been to the Statue of Liberty.

The waiter returned with a bottle of wine. He poured a small amount for Francescas approval. When she nodded to him, he filled my glass and then hers. Francesca asked me if I ate shellfish. I wrinkled my brow quizzically and nodded. She turned back to the waiter and asked him to bring us a platter of the white cigars. Again, I looked at her questioningly and when the waiter had gone I asked shellfish, white cigars?

They make the most wonderful crab and white sauce filled puff-pastries that are long and shaped somewhat like cigars. So, white cigars. They are really fabulous. I think you will like them, but.but we can order something else if you like. Before I could reply, she was gesturing and calling for Luc to return. I reached out and touched her shoulder saying No. No, they sound wonderful, Ive just never heard of them.

She reached up and took my hand in hers saying I didnt mean to be presumptuous; they are so good and I wanted to share them with you.

The touch of her hand sent a fire right to the core of me and again I found myself blushing. I wanted to take my hand back and break the eye contact, but I couldnt tear myself from her. She held my hand and stared at me. You are really quite beautiful, Marina.

I had been told many times that I was beautiful. Id heard it all my life. First as a child from my parents friends: Look at her, such a beautiful child. Then it was the boys in high school: you are so beautiful, please come with me to the (insert name of event here). And as I matured and grew out of adolescence, I didnt have to hear it, I could see it on the faces of the people I passed on the street, the girls staring in the clubs and even some of the customers at the cafe. And yet, hearing it from Francesca, I felt shy and awkward as if it was the first compliment Id ever received. I didnt know what to say, so I simply looked down at the table. She reached over and placed a finger under my chin and brought my eyes back to hers. Her smile was warm and sincere as she leaned towards me. The kiss was slow and sweet, and I instantly felt the moisture between my legs.

Lucs cough brought us back to the restaurant and caused us both to let out a small giggle of embarrassment as we separated. He laid the plate between us and left with a slight bow.

Francesca picked one of the cigars up, broke it in half and brought the smaller piece to my mouth. I closed my eyes and parted my lips. As she placed the pastry in my mouth I closed my lips around her finger lightly sucking on it as it slid out of my mouth. I dont know which was better the cigar or the feel of her finger on my lips. I kept my eyes closed as I savored the rich warm filling. When Id swallowed, I opened my eyes as I slowly licked my lips in exaggerated pleasure. Umm, those are very good. I said. The look on Francescas face was pure desire as she placed the other piece of cigar in her mouth. It was the most seductive and erotic thing Id ever experienced and by the time wed finished our meal my panties were soaked through and I was aching for her touch.

As we walked out onto the street, Francesca laced her arm through mine and we strolled slowly down the street in silence. I had no idea where she was taking me, and I didnt care; I just didnt want the night to end.

When we reached the corner, she gestured off to the right and said My flat is just down there a few blocks. Would you like to come up?

I nodded and we turned in the direction shed indicated. Her flat as she called it was small and the furnishings and decorations were very simple, yet it was quite elegant. I was a bit surprised by it when we first entered, and she noticed my reaction. She glanced around as if seeing it for the first time and said Its not mine; Im just using it while Im in town. I simply nodded my head as I took it all in and followed her into the living room. She asked me if I wanted a drink. No, thank you. Im fine. I replied.

How about a tour then? she asked.

Do you mind? Id love to see the rest of it.

She led me from the living room into a large kitchen. This was a kitchen for someone who cooked. It was wonderful. There was no formal dining room and it appeared that the stools and bar area of the center island served as the dining area. I followed her as she walked back through the living room and down a short hall. She pointed out the bathroom, as we passed an open door on the left, and then turned through a door a bit further down on the right. I knew this would be the bedroom and a brief moment of doubt flitted through my mind, but as I rounded the corner and into the room, the thought was wiped away by what I saw.

The entire wall opposite was window and you could see the lights of the city. This is my favorite room, she said, as I stared out the window, still not believing the view. It was breathtaking. As I stood there looking at the twinkling lights, I felt her arms encircle my waist and her body press up against my back. I leaned back into her and felt her warm breath as she placed small kisses at the juncture of my shoulder and neck. A shiver went down my spine and a sigh escaped me. Suddenly, the desire that had been building in me all night could not be contained.

I turned in her arms and kissed her. It was not the slow sweet kiss from earlier in the evening. This was deep and urgent. I wanted her and could not wait any longer. My hand cupped her breast and I could feel her nipple harden immediately. I lowered my head and kissed her neck and shoulder as I unbuttoned her blouse. My mouth was instantly on her breast, sucking and biting her nipple. She moaned and tossed her head back arching her back and pushing her breast toward me. My hand caressed her other breast until her hands pulled my mouth back to hers. Her tongue was probing my mouth, sliding over my teeth and lips. She pulled my lower lip into her mouth. I let my hand slide down her belly and slip between her legs. I pressed into her and she released my lip with a moan.

She took my hand in hers and pulled me to the bed. She tugged my shirt from my pants and lifted it over my head. I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra letting it fall to the floor. She pushed me back onto the bed and pressed her body into mine. As we kissed, she rubbed and pinched my nipple and I responded with a small shuddering scream to the mixture of pleasure and pain. I rolled her off of me and stood to pull off her jeans. She slipped out of her underwear and I forcefully returned her to the bed. With her pants off, her musky scent filled my nostrils exciting me even further. I leaned down onto one elbow and again took her nipple into my mouth. My hand slowly traced her other breast and gently flitted over her nipple briefly before trailing down past her belly button and grazing her pubic hair as I reached to run my hand up the inside of her thigh. As I reached the top of her thigh, she thrust her hips towards my hand and I felt the moisture of her desire.

Please, Marina, I am aching for your touch. It was a raspy whispering plea.

I let my hand slip between the folds of her lips to find her swollen *****. She was so wet, my fingers slid easily over her and she released a long sighing moan. As I rolled and caressed her ***** between my fingers, I returned my mouth to hers and we kissed.. Her hips began to move and I could no loner control my urgent need to be inside of her. I thrust 2 fingers deep into her and began to slowly move them in and out, while attending to her ***** with my thumb. She came almost immediately, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me to her.

Before the last of the waves of pleasure had washed over her, she was on top of me, straddling me. I could feel her juices pouring onto my stomach. She lowered herself onto me and kissed and licked her way over my shoulder and up my neck; she ended by nipping my earlobe with her teeth. Her hot breath on my ear made me feel like I could release at any moment. She slid off of me and trailed her hand down to the waste of my pants. She undid the button and lowered the zipper. Her hand slipped under my panties and her fingers wove themselves in my hair as she continued down to my core of my desire. I was aching and ready for her touch. By the time her fingers brushed against my *****, I couldnt contain the scream. She released my earlobe at that and laughed. Do you want me Marina? She whispered, Tell me you want me.

Please, yes. I want you Francesca. I moaned.

What do you want? Tell me. She whispered into my ear.

Again, her warm breath on my ear made my whole body shiver. I want you to ***** me I pleaded.

At that, she pushed herself up and pulled me with her. Then we must get these off of you. She said as she removed the last of my clothes. I lay back onto the bed, but she said, No, not like that as she rolled me onto my stomach. Immediately she was lying next to me with her body pressed against me, her hand caressing my ***** before moving back between my legs to fondle my *****. She teased me; working me to near climax and then pulling back. Again and again she did this until I was begging her Please, ***** me. I want to ***** for you. With that, she pulled her hand away from me and sat up. She pulled my hips up until I was on all fours and she was kneeling behind me. With her hips pressed tightly against my *****, she slid her thumb into me and continued to roll my ***** between her fingers. We moved together in a slow rhythm. Her other hand draped around me to caress my breast. The tension rose in me, and I began to move faster and harder against her. She released my breast and straightened up, placing her hand in the middle of my back. With a shuttering groan I came. I thought I would literally explode as she continued to ***** me. I felt weak, like my arms would not be able to support my weight any longer, but the tension was rising in me again. With a final thrust into Francesca, I climaxed again, the spasm wracking my body. Francesca stilled her hand, but did not pull out of me. Instead she lowered me to the bed and laid full body on mine, thumb still buried deep inside me. It was a long time before my breathing and heart rate slowed and my brain was able to function enough for me to think.

Francesca kissed the back of my shoulder and slowly pulled out of me. She slid off my back and asked if she could get me something to drink. I said a glass of water would be nice. She rose and walked naked out of the room. I lay on the bed still not completely clear headed, and again looked out at the city until I heard her return. She was carrying a small tray with a pitcher of water, 2 glasses and a small plate of fruit. I though you might like a snack as well.

But the sight of her standing naked at the edge of the bed ignited the fire of desire in me once again. I took the tray from her hand and placed it on the small table beside the bed. I pulled Francesca down onto the bed and kissed her. I could be slower now. The urgency was past and I wanted to explore every inch of her body. I ran my fingers through her flowing hair; I trailed my fingers slowly and lightly off her shoulder and down her arm. I raised up on one elbow so I could watch her. I wanted to see her face as I touched her. Her eyes were closed, teeth biting her lower lip as I ran my hand over her belly. I hesitated slightly before continuing down into her once again.

She was so hot and so wet. It was like feeling warm velvet as I slid my fingers between her lips. She moaned quietly as I entered her. She felt so good. I couldnt stop my own moan as I relished the feel of her tight around my fingers. I leaned down to kiss her lips and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into her. Her kiss was deep; her hands went to my ***** again rolling and pinching my nipples between her fingers. My nipples were fully erect when she lowered her head to take one into her mouth. Her free hand moved lower down my stomach and suddenly she was touching my *****. It was like something exploded in me and I began to grind my hips into her hand. When I thought I couldnt take anymore, she pulled her hand away and brought it to her mouth. Slowly she licked and sucked her fingers clean one by one. She pushed me onto my back and in no time she was again straddling me. My hand returned to her ***** and she moved and gyrated above me. Her hands rubbed and caressed her *****. Her head was thrown back and her ragged breathes were getting faster. She opened her eyes and looked down at me. She was licking her lips and smiling. She began to move slowly up my body until she was sitting on my chest, her ***** just inches from my mouth. My arms were pinned beneath her legs now, so I could not touch her. I could feel her juices running down my chest and I wanted her to continue upwards so I could taste her. But she had stopped moving and was staring intently at me. She brushed my hair out of my face and smiled at me.

She turned slightly, reaching for my *****. Quickly, her fingers had found their target and were slowly running circles around my *****. She was driving me crazy. My hips were bucking wildly and I knew I couldnt take much more of this. Just as I was about to *****, Francesca stopped. Before I was fully aware of what she was doing, she had switched directions and had her face was buried in my ***** with her own hovering just above my face. The feel of her warm, wet mouth sucking my lips into her mouth and her tongue flitting across my ***** was like electricity shooting through every cell in my body. As she continued to work my *****, I reached up and wrapped my arms around her hips and let my hand rest on her ***** as I pulled her down to my waiting mouth. I ran my hands over her ***** and up her back feeling the silky smoothness of her skin. Her hot juices immediately spread across my face and the taste of her was like warm honey on my tongue.

I began slowly teasing her *****, flicking back and forth with my tongue. My hands rubbed and kneaded her *****. She raised her head from me just enough to release a long low moan. With that I quickened my pace a bit more intently lapping at her *****. I nibbled it gently with my teeth and sucked her ***** into my mouth. I dont know what Francesca did at that moment but it caused me to throw my head back, suck in my breath and hold it for a long second. I could not stop my hips from moving and could feel the climax rising in me. Wanting desperately to make Francesca come, I returned to her. I sucked and nibbled her *****. I could feel the muscles in her legs tensing and her hips pushing into my face. I plunged my tongue into her and brought my hand below her leg so I could fondle her *****. Again, she raised her head and I could hear her ragged breathing. She rested her head on my thigh and ground her hips into my face. I could here her crying out Yes, oh yes..Im gonna cumoh. And then she was shuddering and her juices were pouring over my face.

Almost at once she resumed licking and sucking me. She thrust her fingers into me. My hips were once again bucking underneath her. I grasped her hips with both hands and pulled her back down to me. I sucked her ***** back into my mouth as my ***** exploded in me. Before my own climax subsided, Francesca was coming again. Her whole body shook against me. She collapsed, head on my thigh. We both lay there exhausted and panting for a long while. I reached for her arm and pulled her up to me. She kissed me and I could taste myself on her lips and face. I tucked us both under the covers and we curled into each other, Francescas back cradled into me. I think we were both asleep in less than a minute.

******************

When I awoke, the sun was streaming into the room and Francesca was nowhere to be seen. I sat up and looked around sleepily. I caught the smell of coffee and began to look for my clothes. I got up, gathered my clothes and padded across the hall to the bathroom. As I caught site of myself in the mirror I thought lovely, no wonder she was up and out of bed. I dressed and washed my face. I even managed to find some mouthwash and a hair brush. I pulled my hair back into a loose twist. Much better I thought to myself as I left the bathroom and went to find Francesca.

I stopped at the doorway of the kitchen to watch her. She was wearing a red silk robe that was loosely tied at the waist. She stood at the Vulcan stove, back to me, laboring over something that smelled divine. I hadnt realized I was hungry until that moment, when my stomach released a loud gurgling growl. Francesca turned at the noise.

She was moving towards me, exaggerated pout on her face as she spoke. Oh, youre up. I was going to bring you breakfast in bed.

I could go get back into bed. I said with a wicked grin as I gestured in the direction of the bedroom.

She laughed as she wrapped her arms loosely around my waist. I kissed her lightly on the lips. Whats for breakfast? It smells wonderful and Im famished. I asked glancing back to the stove.

Francesca broke away from me and gestured to a stool at the island bar saying Have a seat; its almost done. What can I get you to drink? Ive made a pitcher of Mimosas and a pot of coffee.

Mm. I thought for a moment. Mimosa, please. That sounds lovely.

She poured me a glass and one for herself and placed them both on the bar. She also brought a small basket of bread and a plate of fresh fruit. She retrieved two plates and filled them from the pan on the stove. I hope you like it. She said as she slid a plate in front of me. The plate was covered with a large perfect omelet. It looks wonderful. I said as I forked a bite into my mouth. Mmmm I sighed, nodding my head to Francesca. This is good. Really good. I added after swallowing.

Now that Id approved, she relaxed and began to eat. The conversation was lacking as we both ate like we hadnt seen food in days. Realizing this as I cleaned the last bite from my plate, I laughed a bit and said I guess we were both hungry.

Francesca looked down at her own plate and then over at mine and laughed with me. She looked at me, suddenly serious. She reached for my hand as she said Last night, Marina. She paused a bit looking back down at her plate and I thought I saw a slight blush creep into her cheeks, before she went on It was wonderful, really wonderful, but I didnt intend that. I dont want you to think that is why I asked you back here.

I raised her hand to my mouth and kissed her palm softly. It is exactly why I came here with you. I said looking into her eyes for her reaction. I got exactly what I wanted as a large smile spread across her face and she moved from her chair to stand before me. She kissed my cheek lightly and moved her mouth to my ear. How much time do you have before you have to be at work? she whispered.

I lightly kissed her ear lobe before whispering back I dont have to be at work until 3:00 oclock.

I felt the warm breath of a sigh against my ear as she pulled my hand and headed for the bedroom.

That was the beginning of what would turn out to the best summer of my life



PART 2: What Went Wrong???


Francesca came into my life not 5 months ago and everything has changed. I never expected this; never expected to fall in love. But I did..

At first, my friend Magda was skeptical, reminding me that I never got involved. I was the one that seduced the cute girls, had my fun, and moved on. However, it didnt take long for her to see that this was different. Eventually, Magda came around and admitted shed never seen me so happy. My other friends adored Francesca. Even Jacqueline who tended to be overly protective and motherly approved.

Francesca doted on me, spoiling me with her attention. We spent all our time together. We ate at restaurants where we lingered for hours talking. We talked about everything: the arts, travel, her job, my family, our childhoods. She met my family. We went dancing till the wee hours of the morning. I went to the theatre and met the people she worked with. And always, we ended up in bed. The ***** was endless; and it was incredible.

I was happy, really happy for what seemed like the first time in my life. It was easy to pretend that it would not be ending with the summer when her job was over and she would return to the United States. Francesca had been offered a job on some big American movie. It was a huge step for her career and she was very excited about it. I did not think about any of that. I enjoyed what we had.

In August we began talking about a small vacation. Her job was ending the first week of September and she wanted to go away with me for a few weeks before she had to return. Where would you like to go? I asked. She grinned like a small child trying to sneak something past its mother. Let me take care of it. I want to surprise you. Just plan for warm weather, and dont forget a swim suit. At first I balked at this, unsure about what she had in mind, but she was so excited about it, that I relented and stopped asking her about what she was planning.

Time passed quickly as I counted the days till our trip and the separation that would come after that.