Jennys wide blue eyes scanned the waiting room as dark thoughts floated around her tortured young mind. She played nervously with her thin fingers, holding them in the lap as tears began to gather in her crisp blue pools. The room was too quiet for her. There were 3 others waiting along with her and it was almost as if everyone was afraid to breathe; as if this simple act would eviscerate the last remaining vestiges of their sanity.

The young writer looked down into her lap, the tears slowly making their way down her alabaster cheeks. Jenny didnt want to be here. She wanted to be anywhere but here. She closed her eyes and fragmented memories of a faintly remembered traumatic event flashed in her mind. There were scattered trees in a darkened forest, a group of young men, screams, and suddenly a paralyzing pain. Jenny opened her eyes, frightened by how frequent and intense these random memories were becoming. She could feel the pain of her vision, smell the sweat of the young men, hear the shrieks of terror that were presumably coming from her.

What the ***** is going on with me?, she wondered.

Moments later, a door opened and a soft-smiling, tanned brunette stood with a clipboard in her hand and said, Jenny Schecter?

The thin, doe-eyed brunette slowly stood up and followed the nurse back through the door. She was led into a nice, comfortable office and found her new doctor sitting down at her desk, feverishly writing notes. Without looking up, the doctor spoke, Jenny, please have a seat. Ill be right with you.

Jenny sat down in a large, over-sized chair and stared down at her hands, praying that the thin, strawberry blonde physician behind the desk would help her make some sense of her new tortured reality.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the haze of after-sleep, Tina rolled over in bed and felt for the body of her wife. Finding Bettes spot cold and empty, the pregnant blonde opened her eyes and reality settled in around her. Bette was in Philadelphia, preparing for and attending her fathers funeral. Tina had spoken with her wife the night before and had heard the grief and anxiety in Bettes voice. The dark-haired beauty had intended for her words to sound strong and resilient. But Tina knew Bette better than anyone and she knew that her wife was going through *****.

And thats only the ***** she knows about., thought Tina.

She maneuvered and finally sat up on the edge of the bed, her swollen feet resting on the floor. Her soft brown eyes squinted at the clock. I cant believe its nearly ten. I wanted to call Bette and talk to her before the funeral this morning. I hope shes doing okay., she thought, her hands rubbing absently along her swollen belly.

Tina reached around, found her cell phone and turned it on. After getting menacing calls over the past few days from her ex-girlfriend, the pregnant blonde had finally shut the phone off in the night. She had 5 messages from Helena; each one more threatening than the next.

Message 1: Tina, darling, please pick up. I know youll live to regret this. Bette cant give you what I can. Let me back in your life Tina. Call me soon darling.

Message 2: Tina, why havent you called me back? Bette isnt the one for you. Shes already proven to you that you cant trust her. Ill be waiting for you when you come to your senses. Call me Tina.

Message 3: This is getting very tiresome. I take it you think you can just run on home to your ex and everything will be okay. Darling, life doesnt work like that. It never does. Dont you know who I am? Dont you realize what I can do for you? Tina, darling, please call me. Lets talk.

Message 4: Still no call, Tina? This is rather unfair to me, dont you think? Who was by your side rubbing your feet and making love to you when you needed it? Who? It was me. Not Bette. Dont shut me out, Tina.

Message 5: So youve turned off your phone? I truly hope its not on my account. This will be my last call to you. I just want you to remember one thing. Im a Peabody, Tina. That means Im in control. It means Im always in control. Dont you think that staying with me would have been in the best interest of your baby? I mean, how is that child supposed to get the things she needs when her mummy loses her big time job at the CAC? How does that work, Tina? Ill tell you darling. It doesnt. I trust Ill be hearing from you.

Tina shook her head in disbelief. Helenas threats to Bettes job troubled her deeply and a sadness settled around the pregnant womans spirit. How were they going to manage if Helenas threats came true? Had Tinas attempt at sexual autonomy ruined her wifes career?

There was one more message. It was from Bette.

Hi, T. Were all waiting at the house for the limo to take us to the church. I really just wanted to hear your voice. I.I needed to hear your voice. Even if it was just your voicemail greeting. There was a short pause followed by a deep sigh. T, to be honest with you.I ummm.I dont know how Im going to make it through this day. Today, we are going to bury my father and I just.I dont know how Im supposed to process that. But, I guess Ill have to. Life goes on, right? I ummm, I wont call you today. I just want you to get rested and try and relax. Please call me when you can. IId love to hear from you, T. I love you so much, baby. I think the car is here now. So, Im gonna go. But know that I miss you and our baby girl. Ill see you soon, T. Bye.

Tina sighed to herself at hearing her wifes words, tears slipping down her face at the emotion in Bettes voice.

Ive got to do it. Ive got to. I dont want Bette to come home and have to deal with the thought of losing her job. Shes going through so much right now. I started this. I have to finish it., thought Tina. She looked through her phone, called the number she swore she wouldnt and waited for the woman on the other end to pick up.

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Bette stared up at her nephew, David, behind a wall of unshed tears. The handsome young man stood at the pulpit, his hands slightly shaking, and he struggled to keep the emotion out of his voice as he read his grandfathers obituary. As his words retold the story of Melvin Porters past, his youngest daughters dark brown eyes traveled from her sisters only child down to the mahogany casket in front of her and the tears she fought so desperately to hold back coursed down her caramel cheeks. The strong-willed museum directors thin frame shook with sobs and her older sister instinctively leaned over, enveloping her in a warm hug as they sat beside each other on the first pew of Philadelphias Grace A.M.E. Church.

Hes gone. Hes gone., Bette murmured into Kits ear.

I know, baby girl. I know., Kit whispered in return, the soft skin of her pecan-colored cheeks already wet with grief.

By the time David finished the obituary, Bette had stopped shaking. She sat silently, a wilted version of her former self, Kits arm draped protectively around her. The caramel womans dark brown pools stared at her fathers prepared body, and smiled slightly at the sight of his suit and red tie. It was the same tie shed bought for him nearly a year ago, when hed come to LA to visit. Things had been much happier then: Tina hadnt miscarried their first child, Bette had never hurt Tina by sharing her body with another woman, and Melvin had been lucid and in good health.

He probably never even got to wear it., Bette thought, unable to tear her eyes away from the red silk fabric hanging around her fathers neck.

David took a seat beside his mother and smiled weakly at her, taking her hand in his own. This simple gesture meant the world to Kit Porter. For years, her son, her own flesh and blood, had refused to see her. Only a year ago, hed written her a letter on a Post-it Note; and even that was an obligation hed met at his grandfathers request. Kit Porters life had really turned around. In just a little over a year shed gone from being a deadbeat, recovering alcoholic to becoming a successful entrepreneur, a confidant and friend to her sister, and finally a mother to her only child.

Kit looked up at her fathers body, her dark eyes focused on the hands clasped together on his abdomen. David has his hands. Hands just like daddy., she thought.

Katherine Porter slowly shook a head full of curly, dark hair and thought, The way I was living, I could have been lying in that box. This could have been my funeral. Im so glad I have a chance to get my life back on track. Im not going to mess it up this time.

David has been so kind to me, considering how I abandoned him. Bette was more of a mother to him than I was. This morningwaking up in the same house with him and Bettesharing breakfast together like a real familyhim actually calling me Mom.Ive come too far to give that up. Too far to turn back now.

Ive put people through a lot of ***** in the past. Im through ***** up. That means no more slip-ups and no more Benjamin. No matter how many times he callshow many flowers he sendsIm through with him. I cant bring anymore heartache into anyone elses life. Even if that someone else is the wife of the man I love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the darkness of late evening, Shane shuffled nervously on the front step of Carmens house, waiting for someone to answer the doorbell. Her blue eyes were wide with amazement as the woman of her dreams slowly opened the door.

Carmens dark brown eyes stared into Shanes icy blue pools, confusion etched across her bronzed face. Shanewhat are you doing here?, she asked.

Suddenly, West Hollywoods most eligible ***** bachelorette was speechless. She had so much she wanted to say. But she couldnt even form a single, coherent thought at the moment.

Carmens sultry voice dragged Shane out of her stupor. Shane?, she asked again.

The blue-eyed ladies woman blinked back into reality and said, Yeah.sorry. II just wanted to talk to you for a moment.

Oh. Well, do you want to go somewhere or.., Carmen began.

Shane shook her head. No.II can say it right now.

Okay., said Carmen. She pulled the door closed behind and stood with her arms folded across her chest.

Shane took a deep breath and began to speak, her husky words laced with a mixture of apprehension and affection.

Carmen, you were right. Im.Im not living. I cant stop thinking about you. And I came here to tell you that, and to ask if youd like to go out on a date with me. A real date., she said. With the utterance of her final words, she produced a single, long-stemmed red rose and a mixed CD of what she knew were Carmens favorite songs.

II wanted to give you these to let you know how serious I am. Id really like to go out with you., said Shane.

Carmen smiled at the beauty of the exposed soul before her and accepted Shanes tokens of affection. Thank you. No ones ever done anything like this to me before.

Wellyou deserve it, you know. You deserve the best., said Shane.

I think you are the best, Carmen whispered.

So, is that a yes?, asked Shane.

Carmen leaned in and kissed Shanes soft pink lips. Its a yes. Just let me know the details. Ill be there, Shane.

Shane grinned broadly and released a pent-up sigh. Excellent. Ill call you tomorrow.

TBC (To Be Continued)