The person who started the getting to know the writers series, I have to call it that because after the something different series it started a domino effect into the life and the person behind the stories. I must confess though that with each story and writing style, the way each writer would give their account of how the story should go or how it shouldnt, even the comments after each story, I found myself trying to put a personality to each writer. They say that sometimes art is a reflection of the artist.

I was looking at a rerun of Ellen yesterday evening and it was the episode where she came out to Susan and her friends. The part of the episode I want to stress on is the part where she was talking to her therapist about why she thought it wiser to keep what feelings she had as a child and young adult to herself and not act on them. It is amazing that even in recent times we still feel compelled to resist our urges for the sake of fitting in. I am ***** I know I am, I havent been with a woman nor a man but I dont need to sleep with some one to know that. I love women, I am sexually drawn to women. Like Ellen I want the house, the white picket fence, the children running around, I want to build a life with someone, I want to love and be loved, I just want all of those things with a woman.

In 2000 I went to Canada to further my education. I was 27 at the time. It was the first time I was away from home for so long. I stayed with my aunt and cousin. My cousin is very liberal. She took me to ***** pride in Toronto that summer and even then when she confronted me I still denied it. I never doubted my sexuality I knew then that I was *****, I was not ready to confess it to anyone. Anyway I spent eight months there and then it was back home. When I came back home I joined the lesbianation.com community and met some other Trinidadian girls there. One of the girls coincidently was in a committed relationship with someone I knew pretty well. Meeting them had nothing to do with my wanting to come out to my family. I wrote a letter gave it to my father, brother and closest aunt. My grandmother had a stroke that year and my mother went to see her, hence the reason she didnt get the letter. During that time I got invited to a party at my friends, which I accepted. I told my father what kind of party it was however I neglected to tell my mother. Anyway she came back I mentioned that I was going out and that was it. She eventually found out that it was a ***** party and that was when I my life changed. I never knew how homophobic my mother was until I told her that I was *****. I mean she has close friends who are ***** and live the lifestyle, we have relatives who are ***** so why did she take my revelation so hard. I guess its harder when it hits close to home. My grandmother died four days after she came back home and she had to fly out the next day. So I guess the separation at that time was good. Its amazing how the moment you admit to being ***** you are instantly branded as abnormal in need of help. Yep, a psychologist, a priest whom I didnt see at that time was probably who my mother forgot to send me to. I wont bore you with too much detail but eventually my mother accepted me and as much as I think she may have I dont think she will truly accept it if I were to be in a relationship with a woman. I am basically alone and I longed to have someone I can relate to who understands whom I can talk to about stuff I am feeling openly so I more or less keep things inside. My mind goes a mile a second with stories in my head. I wrote for a while then got caught up in work and now I hardly ever.

When I saw the l word advertised to air in January 2004 I was elated. The time could not come sooner. Its a show my dad and I discuss, usually just after an episode. He understands my obsession. He says its the only thing I could relate to. I am obsessed and I am addicted. I asked a friend one day if she was ever emotionally attached to a show where the characters seem so real that their pain and happiness become your own? After the end of the first season and was as we say a fish out of water. I needed my fix. I searched for l word fansites and came across a few. The first being csc and through their links came across this on and many more which are all on my favourites. But I didnt know about the fanfic. Fanfic thats interesting. So I started reading. One story lead to another and another and I was so overwhelmed I started printing out the stories and now I have a pile and this is no exaggeration almost half my cupboard. I enjoy all the stories, I love the writing style, each being unique. I check for updates daily, I try the chat rooms to meet fellow fans like myself. I tried my hand at two short stories and surprisingly pleasantly I may add, they were well received. It is definitely a plus when you get good reviews from writers whom to you seem brilliant and so gifted. I commend all of you who wrote even one story for sharing your talents with us and to those who have given into the negative reviews, dont stop. To some your work is a masterpiece in its own right.