Chapter Eighteen

I slam the car door shut, marching towards my apartment complex with Bette following a few steps behind me.

When Bette gave me that little interrogation at the bar I was angry, but laughing at me when Im trying to explain something meaningful to her? She is not getting out of this mess easily. And shes tried, the whole journey here she has tried. But Im not falling for it, her little grins, singing something from the radio to me, none of it is working. Ok its working, it worked, but Im not about to let her know that.

Bette waits infront of the elevator, and I climb the stairs. But I guess Bette knows shes skating on think ice because she joins me on the stairs with no complaints.

I reach the door to my apartment and as I place the lock in the key, Bette covers my hand with her own. Right now I am feeling two kinds of feelings, that warm tingly feeling I get whenever Bette seems to touch, or look, or do pretty much anything with me, and frustration as I feel my resolve already crumbling. T She says, smiling at me.

I dont want to hear it right now Bette I open my front door. Not until you mean it

She follows me inside. I mean it T, ok Im sorry. I know youd never touch anybody else, I guess I was just a little jealous, I was stupid to say the things I said and I honestly never meant any of them

I dont care about that Bette, everybody gets jealous

So why are you in such a bad mood then if you dont care about it?

I scowl at her. Did you listen to anything I said at the club? Why didnt you want me around you Bette? Do you know how humiliated I felt when I tried to hold your hand and you pushed me away? I ask her, my voice sad as we stand infront of each other.

Tina… She sighs. …baby it wasnt like that

It felt like that to me

Cmon T, you were distracting me. All I needed was a minute

Maybe this slipped your mind Bette but you actually werent working tonight. Tonight was supposed to be about fun, it was supposed to be you and me together, dancing and drinking and kissing and having fun I sit down on the sofa and Bette sits beside me. She could still come back from this, if she apologises and kisses everything better then we wont have to fight anymore. I dont want us to fight anymore.

Well youre the one who made us leave babe, I mean if you stayed then maybe…

Wrong answer. Im going to bed, Ill get you some blankets

What for? She asks.

Youll need them if youre going to sleep on the couch I tell her stomping into my bedroom as she whines in the background.

I pull blankets and sheets from out of my wardrobe and leave them on my bed as I change into my pyjamas. I havent worn well anything to bed for so long that it seems strange to be putting on clothes before I slip into bed. I unzip my dress and the door opens.

T, we need to talk about this, this is stupid

Do you mind? Im trying to change She laughs in disbelief and I can practically picture the look on her face. That raised brow and those lips pursed. She clutches me by the wrist, turning me around to face her so that Im standing infront of her, the top half of me exposed.

This is stupid… She whispers, her eyes pleading, her hold becoming gentle. …Im willing to forget everything if you are She smiles but the smile that was beginning to tug on my lips fades.

You really arent listening to me at all. I didnt do anything wrong Bette, you did and if you werent so god damn stubborn then I wouldnt have to be like this I turn away from her and put my pyjama top on.

So what? Im just demoted to the couch?

Thats right I answer, my voice calm as she snatches the blankets and sheets.

Fine! She exclaims, marching out of my bedroom and slamming the door behind her.

I sigh, kneading my throbbing temples with my fingertips. I glance at the door a part of me wishing that Bette was still stood out there. I switch off the bedroom light, climbing into bed. This is not how I thought this night would be. I turn onto my side, Bettes spot seems so big without her in it. I clutch her pillow and I can smell her on it. I contemplate going to her, but this isnt how I want every one of our arguments to be resolved. I dont want to have to do the work even when its not my fault. I dont want to apologise when I have nothing to be sorry for.

A gentle tap at the door disturbs me from my thoughts. Yeah?

T? Bette asks.

What?

Can I come in? She sounds so quiet and nervous that I cant help but smile in the darkness.

Do what you want

The door opens slowly, light from the hallway filling my room with a modest glow. In between the door frame and my bedroom Bette is kneeling on the floor. She crawls into the room on her hands and knees until she reaches my bed. She clutches my waist, her hands slipping under my pyjama top to slide across naked skin.

Im sorry She whispers, her voice muffled against my stomach. I am so, so sorry. I was an *****, an idiot, I dont why I acted like that. I wanted you around me, I always want you around me, but I guess the career woman takes over you know? I feel like I have to talk and act a certain way to get them interested in the gallery. Its no excuse, neither is being jealous of that woman, but please T, dont make me sleep on the couch

I look down at her head, buried in my stomach, her thick curly black hair falling over the top of me, reluctantly I bring my hands to it. I dont ever want you to do that to me again Bette, if Im distracting or embarrassing then dont take me with you She tenses under my touch, climbing onto the bed she stis infront of me, her legs crossed.

Tina, I could never be embarrassed of you. Never. I mean it its the dress that distracted me, and knowing what was underneath it. I had this big speech in my head and then you come up to me with your cleavage and those legs… She trails off closing her eyes with pleasure. …I forgot everything I was about to say

So why couldnt you just tell me that? Instead of jumping to conclusions about that woman?

I knew you were pissed off with me but I didnt click on until I stopped talking, and then I looked over at the bar and she was leaning towards you and…I just didnt think

Its ok babe I touch her cheek with my hand, sliding it to the back of her neck. I kiss her softly, my arms clutching her jacket as her hands move from my shoulders to wrap around me. Our lips seem to part inch by inch, and when they do Bette is gazing into my eyes.

I love you She whispers, planting a brief kiss against my lips.

I love you too I pull her closer to me until shes practically sat in my lap, our lips joined my hands move across her body, sliding through her jacket to cup her concealed *****. She groans against my lips. But we have got to talk about what youre wearing, and you say Im distracting? I cant remember how many people I caught looking down your top I undo the single button that joins Bettes jacket, teasing her ***** through her black bra.

Really? Well I dont want any of them She tells me, her lips caressing my neck. Now sit back and let me apologise properly