Chapter Five

I dont know exactly what it is I feel about Eric. I care about him, but I know that theres just no chance that its love. Not after…even thinking of her makes the blush rise in my cheeks. I sit here, waiting for her, in some quaint little cafe, she chose, which would just have to be beautiful and artistic and perfect. Like her. I shake my head sipping my latte. My stomach tells me that what I need is some adequate dutch courage.
What was I even thinking about coming here? I know what I was thinking, I was thinking about those soft lips, and that kiss that still seems to linger on my lips even now. Stop it! Im taken. Im with Eric. Im happy…right?
Tina? I look up to find those eyes smiling brighter than those lips. Dark chocolate orbs that comfort and intimidate me all at the same time. I know that Im staring, gazing even, my mouth ajar my eyes sinking into hers. But try as I may I cant look away.
She sits down infront of me smiling and I think that both of us hear me gulp. I thought you wouldnt come She tells me slipping out of her black suit jacket, leaving her in a tight fitting sheer shirt. My eyes drop from her intense eyes to her *****, straining against the buttons of her white shirt. Im glad you did She adds her smile wistful.
I clear my throat looking up guiltily. I wasnt going to I admit my eyes dropping to the table cloth nervously.
Why did you? She asks, her voice calm, a tiny drop in the ocean thats swirling around in my stomach.
Because, when I woke up this morning I realised that I couldnt wait to see you… Her eyes leave mine for the first time since she arrived, and the shy smile on her face makes my breath catch in the back of my throat. I close my eyes and feel her hand touch mine, her fingers wrap around my thumb, delicately caressing the length of it. …which is why I dont think I should see you again I catch the sadness in her eyes and wonder if she can see it mirrored in mine. Im supposed to be in a relationship, Im supposed to… She releases my hand nodding her head.
Its ok She says rising from her seat. I wouldnt have pursued you usually but…I dont know. I thought I felt something I look at her, my heart beating uncontrollably, hammering against my chest. She touches my chin with a hand. It was nice to meet you Tina She says, sadness edging her voice.
She leaves the cafe and its hard to explain how bad it feels to know that I probably wont ever see her again. I cant remember the last time anybody, man or woman, has ever made me feel like this. But Im with Eric, Bettes a woman, Im a woman! It couldnt ever work…right? I watch the back of her fading away, and my feet are moving before I even think about it. I walk quickly, images of Bettes hand holding mine filling my head. I want to run after her, I want to be with her, I want to touch her, I want her to kiss me again.
I walk closer and closer to her, so close that if I just reached out and touched her shed know that I was there. She looks over her shoulder her eyes surprised when they settle on me. Tina? I grab her hands but feel her hold mine as my fingers tremble.
I… I shake my head and she smiles reassuringly. …I felt something too Bette I whisper. She looks down at our joined hands snaring her bottom lip inbetween her pearly white teeth. I feel the air leave my chest, my stomach lurch as she sighs with relief.
She takes my hand pulling me into a small alley, darkness surrounding us as she kisses me. I feel the passion in her, stronger than yesterday, but even stranger I feel the passion in me that I was too afraid to admit I felt. Her lips move away from mine and come to my neck, her face nuzzling my throat her lips pressing against sensitive skin as I gulp down my arousal.
Dont be nervous She whispers, her breathe tickling my ear. Youre so beautiful Her fingertips dance across my cheeks, slipping through my hair as she groans into my ear. I kiss her again, overwhelmed by how much I want her. A hand moves to the back of my neck as lips seek out mine kissing me with a fiery passion that leaves me breathless. I rest against her gasping for breath.
I need… She holds my face in her hands.
What do you need?
What dont I need? What I dont need is to rush this. What I dont need is for the memorys of my first time with Bette to have taken place in an alley.
I need to go slow. Im not…Ive never been with a woman before. I need to break up with Eric before I can think about… I trail off imagining Bettes soft body against mine, imagining her mouth moving downwards. I shiver involuntarily.
Her smile is gentle and comforting, her arms stroking the sides of my arms. We can go as slow as you like She presses a kiss to my lips. I promise She fishes a card out of her pocket and hands it to me, my eyes drawn to those delicate fingers. Youre in charge. Whenever you want to call me thats my number
Ok. I should probably go I need to speak to Eric I can feel the guilt sneaking up on me, I could feel it even before Bette kissed me. She embraces me, her hands everywhere, her body touching parts of me that have been asleep for so long. I close my eyes, burying my face in silky dark hair, breathing in the scent of Bette that I know will drive me crazy forever. I untangle myself from her warm inviting body, reluctantly. I walk away slowly releasing her hand finger by finger.
Tina? She calls out before I can make my way out of the alley.
Yeah?
I really hope you call