”Would you have a choice?  I mean,  if she really wants to do….that?”  Helena was clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

”Bette likes nothing better than to make choices for other people,  everybody knows that,”  Alice said,  ignoring Bette’s glare.

”My baby sis wants her Boo to be happy.  She knows how hard it is to choose your own way.  She faced down Daddy over her art.”

”Melvin didn’t want you to go into art?” Shane asked.

Bette shook her head.  ”He wanted me to be a lawyer — civil rights.”

”I bet you would have been a splendid attorney,” Helena said.

Bette shrugged.  ”Maybe,  but I hated it.”

”How did he take it?” Alice asked.  Bette had always been overly anxious to please her father,  so it came as a surprise that Bette had openly defied him.

”Not well,”  Bette said with a sigh.

Kit chuckled.  ”That’s one way to put it.  He sent her a bill.”

Bette shook her head.  ”Yeah.  I had almost forgotten about that.” 

”A bill?  What do you mean?”  Helena asked.

Bette sighed again.  ”For his paternal services.”

”What the hell are you talking about?” Alice asked,  throwing her hands in the air.

”He sent me an invoice for the cost of my childhood. I still have it somewhere.”  Bette stared at the table,  thinking back to her last months in college and how quickly her relationship with her father had spun out of control.

The table was silent until Shane asked,  ”What did it say?”

”Hmmm.  Let’s see if I can remember,”  Bette ruminated.  In truth,  she would never forget what was written on that lawyer’s stationary.  ”’Your obligations to your father,  the party of the first part, are considerable and the only way to impress upon you,  the party of the second part,  the necessity of compensating him for the fiscal burdens he bore on your behalf is to make his sacrifices evident in the form of the following,  recorded herein as a legal and binding document.  Food:  $250,000,  Clothing:  $350,000,  Tuition: $500,000, Incidentals:  $300,000.  Should you fail to make payment in full, this matter will result in actions for which I advise you to hire counsel.”

”Damn.”  Shane had never really had a proper family,  but she was pretty sure being forced to pay for the cost of your childhood was pretty cold.

”You were an expensive kid,”  Alice said in awe.

”What did you do?” Helena was aghast.  Her mother had cut her off financially,  but even Peggy wouldn’t have expected Helena to pay her for the cost of her upbringing — something that was freely given.

”I countersued,”  Bette said with a smirk.

”You didn’t!” Alice exclaimed.

Bette nodded.  ”I did.  For intentional infliction of emotional distress and about a dozen other things.  My favorite was $200,000 for my Oedipal complex.”  

”That’s bloody brilliant.  Maybe you should have been a lawyer after all.”

”That must have felt good,”  Alice mused.

”For a while.  Until I realized what a truly petty endeavor it all was.”  Bette glanced at her watch. ”Speaking of petty endeavors,  I have to go to Henry’s and pick up the pig farmer.”

”Why does she make you schlep out to Death Valley like that?”  Alice asked with disgust.

”Because,  Alice,  if I didn’t,  I wouldn’t get to see just how much better off she is without me,”  Bette said bitterly as she gathered her things.

”That’s not right,  baby girl,”  Kit said,  shaking her head.

”Well,  right or not,  it’s the only way I get to see my daughter and I will do anything for the chance to do that.  Even endure Tina’s pathetic displays with her man.  Do you all want to come to the house tomorrow afternoon? We can swim and grill something?”

”Absolutely,” Alice said eagerly, answering for the table.   ”Angelica needs her diversity booster.”

Bette donned her sunglasses.  ”Great.  I’ll see you then.”

The girls watched Bette leave with a lingering sadness for everything Bette had to go through in order to see her daughter.

”That’s fucked up,”  Shane said flatly.

”Tina will come to her senses, eventually,” Helena said with very little conviction.

”She had better.  I don’t know how much more baby girl can take,”  Kit sighed.  ”I loved Tina like a sister,  but this has all gone too far.  I know Bette hurt her,  but she finished paying for that a long time ago.  Tina doesn’t have to keep piling on.”

”Payment in full,” Alice whispered.