“Well, this is it.”
Robin unlocked the practice yard gate and held it open for Jenny. Scaffolding hovered above an oceanous net stretched before them. Jenny gasped when she noticed how high the bar was. Robin touched her hand and nodded toward a small trailer.
“My stuff is in there. Look around while I go and change.”
Jenny wandered aimlessly along the perimeter of the structure, her heart beating a little faster as she craned her neck to see the bar. Robin reappeared at her side, dressed in wind shorts, sports bra, and fingerless gloves. Jenny tried not to stare at the wide strip of tanned six-pack that showed between Robin’s top and shorts.
“It’s not as scary as you think. Also, it’s scarier,” Robin murmured.
“Great…” Jenny breathed.
“Come on, it’s a bit of a climb.”
Jenny hesitated as Robin placed her foot on the scaffolding rails and pulled herself up to the next level, looking down to make sure Jenny followed. Jenny glanced furtively around the yard, as if to make sure no one was watching, and then began to climb.
The view from the platform was breathtaking. She scanned the horizon for her tool shed. Robin guessed her thoughts.
“See that clump of trees way off over there to the west? That’s all you can see of your neighborhood.”
“What about yours?”
“About a block away. That building right there is blocking it.”
“Really? Your house is near here?”
“I guess you could call it a house.” Jenny looked confused and then gasped.
“Oh, *****, I just looked down.” Jenny swayed a little and Robin grabbed her elbow, chuckling.
“Ok, did you like the swingset when you were little?”
“Oh, I still like it.”
“Good, then this will be a treat. At first it’s just like being on a swing. But then you have to let go.”
“Can I just watch you?”
“We can start with that. Have a seat here at the back of the platform so I don’t land on you,” Robin said as sheuntied the rope that secure the bar.
“Here goes!” and just like that, she was gone, her body forming a graceful arc as she flew back and forth through the air, flipped herself upside down and then back again, then let go of the bar and fell through space, rolling gracefully in mid air and landing safely in the net. She bounced once and then tucked her legs up and slid her body through the bottom of the next, landing on the ground and quickly climbing back up to where Jenny sat, awestruck.
“You- you’re like a super hero or something, it’s like you can actually fly…and you look so…beautiful.” Jenny breathed, looking up at Robin in wonder.
“Well, there’s actually not much I can do without my partner. And you really won’t get the full effect until we add the sequined unitard.”
“Oh, where are you hiding that?”
“Oh, those are under lock and key. Our costumer is really protective of her babies.”
“I guess I can understand that.” Jenny grinned. “Ok. I’m ready to swing.”
“Well, the first thing I want you to do is fall. That way you won’t be afraid of it. Now take the bar, swing out to the middle, and let go. Try to tuck your body so your arms and legs don’t go through the net. It can be very painful to land astride those ropes, even for a girl.” Robin grimaced at the memory.
“Wow. Um…well, ok- here goes.”
And Jenny grabbed the bar, took a deep breath, and jumped.
When it was over, Jenny wandered dazedly back to Robin’s jeep, hardly able to believe she had just finished her first trapeze lesson. She turned and gazed back at the scaffolding and knew she wanted to do it again, if Robin would bring her. She opened the passenger side door and settled herself in the seat, waiting for Robin to emerge from her trailer and scribbling in her notebook.
“As my feet left the platform I knew I was insane….no, that doesn’t flow….As my feet left the platform, I knew I was nuts…well, that flows but it’s slangy, do I want that? I don’t know…as I sailed through the air, I realized I’d lost it….yes, lost it..that’s good.”
“Hey”
Jenny glanced up quickly, startled to see Robin getting into the driver’s seat.
“Starting already?” Robin asked as she turned the engine and began backing the Jepp out of its space.
Jenny grinned and nodded.
“So I guess you want to keep working, huh? I can take you home, if you want, or…”
“Or?”
“Well, like I said, my place is near here. I could make dinner for us while you write, maybe? I’ll cook something really hard so it will take long enough that you’ll be ready for a break by the time its done.”
“you’ll cook something really hard?”
“Yeah, like homeade pasta or something.”
“You make pasta?”
“Sure.”
“Wow. Ok, let’s go to your place.”
“Ok, we’re here.” Jenny glanced out the window to see that Robin was in the process of parking the Jeep next to a huge warehouse-like structure. Robin unlocked the door and led Jenny inside.
“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you called it a ‘space’ instead of a ‘house’.” Jenny looked around in amazement. They were standing in a single room that was four stories tall and as long as a football field, containing very little excpet a cluster of furniture at the opposite end.
“What are you going to do with all this?”
“Well, I would like to settle down someday, come in off the road, you know. My brother’s company bought this building to turn into a nightclub but that deal fell apart and they were looking to unload it so I got it for next to nothing. I was thinking I might open my own circus someday and use this for our performance space.” Robin explained as she led Jenny toward the back.
“Do you think people would go for that?”
“Yeah, I think so. Maybe it’s a stupid idea, though. Ok, why don’t you have a seat here and I will see what kind of groceries I have.” Jenny sat down at a vinyl-and-chrome dinette set just like one her grandmother had owned and pulled her notebook out of her bag. Robin put on a c.d. and began rummaging through cupboards and the refrigerator in search of ingredients. After she had taken inventory she turned to face Jenny, noticing her pen in her mouth and a faraway expression on her face.
“Ok, it looks like I am going to need a few things from the store so I am going to leave you here, ok?” Jenny nodded. “But I was thinking you might like to see my scrapbook? For research?”
“You have a scrapbook?” Jenny almost squealed, she was so delighted.
“Actually it’s more of a scrap box.” Robin walked over to the bed Jenny had been studiously not looking at and pulled a long, flat box from beneath it which she then lifted and carried to the table.
“Almost my whole life is in here. Look at whatever you want.”
Robin hesitated for a moment and then bent and quickly kissed Jenny, grabbed her keys, and was gone.
Jenny studied the box for a moment.
“Her whole life?” She closed her eyes and opened the box, pulling out the first piece of paper she touched. It was a glossy publicity still for Robin’s circus, featuring Robin and a very muscular young man posed on their platform and dressed in glittering leotards. Robin’s partner (the photo caption called him Gavin Thorpe) had his arm around Robin’s waist and Jenny was suprised to feel a wave of irritation wash over her.
“Hate him!” Jenny giggled as she carefully laid the photo aside and reached for the next item- a program from Robin’s last circus tour. Jenny leafed quickly through it in search of Robin’s face. On the last page she found the same shot of Robin and Gavin as well as the tour schedule. She glanced down the long list of dates, astounded to realize that the tour had lasted the better part of a year. Robin traveled almost constantly, it appeared. She sighed and laid the program next to the photo, reaching into the box once more and retrieving a letter. Jenny paused. Robin had said she could look at whatever she wanted, but this letter looked personal. She hesitated a second more and then opened it. The writing was small and faded but legible. The date on the letter was six months past.
Dear Robin, I hope you won’t hate me
(“Oh, *****” whispered Jenny)
but I have fallen in love with someone else. I am guessing from what you said last night on the phone that you probably expected this. I don’t see how you could be suprised. I haven’t seen you for two months and I told you from the beginning I tend to get lonely if I’m neglected. I know Nicky is your dog but I think she will be happier with me. I am sorry. Sincerely, Beth
“Ooh, hate her too.” Jenny muttered, putting the letter on top of the program and photo.
“Ok, what else?” She reached into the box again and found herself holding a dog collar with a tag that said “Nicky”. Self-explanatory. She laid it aside and pulled out another photo, this time of Robin and an unidentified girl with the beginning of a scowl on her pretty face. She was still looking at it when Robin returned, looking nervous when she saw what Jenny was holding. Jenny got up and walked over to help with the grocery bags.
“You said every time you let go of the bar it’s like ***** up, but the impression I get from all this is that every time you leave the house it’s like ***** up.” Jenny said as they began unpacking the food.
“Well, this last time it was. I should have known better.”
“Known better than to leave and pursue the work that you love?”
“No, known better than to fall in love with a spoiled brat.”
“I’m not a spoiled brat..”Jenny whispered, winding her arms around Robin’s neck and leaning in to kiss her.
“It’s a good thing, too…”
“Why’s that?”
“Because in about five minutes I’m going to be in love with you, too.”