Jenny its Marina. Im Sorry. I shouldnt have gone out with Robin or brought her tonight. I think Im in love with you. I know I am and I would do anything for a second chance.



The night air is heavy with the bitter taste of deception, bore down by apprehension; hands shaking quietly, painfully from this aching heart.

It has been long since this kind of emotion has swept over her, consumed her. Or has it? Did Francesca ever have this profound a hold on her heart, that which has absolute control of reason? Reason that is without reason.

Her world, in a not so long ago past, was sound, secure, safe. Was it she that asked the question, Do you want to be safe? Was it she that asked, Is this what you want?

When did it happen, that moment that instant those words no longer looked into the eyes of her distraction, but instead deep within her own. When did her distraction become her air her life-source? When did it happen?

How could it happen? How could it happen and she not recognize it. Was it the general lack of familiarity, had she never been acquainted with the feeling; only having met in passing? Was this the look she saw in Bette and Tinas eyes? Never realizing until now that she had gazed upon them with such a limited understanding of the vastness of emotion of passion contained within?

What will she do, now that she does realize, now that she has this longing, this desire, this overwhelming need to be wanted, to be needed. What will she do, if her air is gone, if her life-source is taken from her? The very thought takes her breath leaving heaviness upon her chest that is near unbearable. What if she has destroyed the one thing that will make her whole? Comic how she never knew her life had been incomplete. Those amusing quips about balance of life and work had always been just that to her, quips, amusing and comic.

There is no comedy in it now. There is now and will forever remain a fear of tragedy. No matter if her love comes to her or not. Never again will she see it for less than it is. Never again will she see it as a light or whimsical condition. She could redefine their meaning. Light redefined to be that of extreme illumination of the heart. Whimsical redefined to be that of erratic degrees of joy and elated peace. In keeping, she too must be redefined to be one that is in love.

Will she tell her more? How will she tell her? What words can possibly be said aloud that would resonate this transformation that has occurred.

A heaviness comes upon her leaving her without breathe; will she be given the opportunity to tell her?

The phone rings. rings.

She reaches towards it. She cannot pick it up; she cannot breathe. She could not speak.

The chant inside her head begins calm down, calm, calm.

Hello.


*********************************

Ms. Ferrer, its Thomas. Are you okay? Its 5 a.m., are we opening The Planet today? Is there something wrong?

5 a.m.?

Good Morning, Thomas. Of course The Planet is open today, as it is everyday. I just lost track of time this morning. Please get everyone started, I will be in a little late, thats all, nothing wrong. Oh, and Thomas, thank you for calling, see you soon.

*********************************


Well Sarah, what now? Over the course of the night weve sufficiently diced and sliced every day every moment of the past few months. What have we discovered? Was it a tragedy, was it a comedy, was it a romance?

You tell me that she is experienced in the art of seduction and creating illusions; vulnerabilities become liabilities and are dangerous to our heart and our existence.

But I believe its you Sarah, its you that is dangerous. I said it. I wrote it. Ive even tried to kill you to stop you. But, my keystrokes were not deep enough or harsh enough. Youre still here, with all of your weakness and doubt.

What was it she said, Your life is richer, more full of possibilities and choices. Ive opened up your world.

Did she open it up so that we could lure others as you say she has done to us? Is it richer because we can now entrap both men and women? Thats what you would have me to believe she meant, isnt it Sarah.

But thats not what shes opened our world to. Weve been doing that for a long time now; remember the Professors, remember the boy at thirteen and all those in between. Deny all you want Sarah, but weve been seducing, entrapping, and hurting others for a long time now. Weve slept with them for our own comfort to satisfy our need to feel important. Stop claiming it to be our need to please others. Realize the lie. Recognize the reason you must die. You are a coward. You are a liar. You are a cheater.

Would you, in even the most remote fashion, consider her a coward? Shes never hid what she wanted and shes never lied to you. Those pictures on the wall were always on the wall. You didnt choose to see them. As for cheating, she and Francesca had an open relationship; the only person they cheated was themselves. Robin? You know very well that its the way shes always been expected to behave; its what shes come to know in her relationship with Francesca. You said it to them, You have your conquests in order to find the other desirable.

What you should be is pleased. Pleased she has recognized the hurt that comes with that game. Pleased she wants friendship to be the means of obtaining love and respect from us. She has taken the time to become our friend; she has supported our wishes, no matter how inconsistent weve been.

You want me to blame her. You want to say its all her fault. But its not is it Sarah. She offered us romance, but you said no we already have a relationship. So, when she offered us friendship, I accepted. I needed her, I wanted her, and I no longer cared what you thought. When I reached out to her, you agreed to it because you saw is as being no different than the others in our past. We could satisfy our needs without regard to the hurt it could cause. Either way, she accepted what we asked each time, yet you still have the audacity to blame her.

Yes, she kissed us, and we chose to react to her. Yes, she made love to us, as we have never been loved before, and we made love to her in return. Yes, Sarah, it was love. I loved her, maybe you didnt but I did. She wasnt like those of the past, was she Sarah. Youre afraid of her because when we look at her we become dismantled. Theres the truth you so desperately want to hide from me. Its the truth that will kill you and allow me to live.

She has opened our world. to her. She is what could make life richer; she is the possibility and the choice that could be made.