“You stayed away for weeks Bette and you were with her the whole time. How do you explain that?”

“She asked me if she could kiss me good-bye. When she kissed me my body responded and I realized that I was just fooling myself. I wasn’t ready to give up on us but I wasn’t ready to let her go either. She had this power over me. I lost what little control I was trying to hang on to. Like I told Alice I didn’t fall in love. I hadn’t become some kind of sex addict. I broke it off as soon as I could honestly know in my heart, body, and mind that it was truly and completely over. That’s when I came back to you Tina. That’s what you’d asked of me and that’s what I delivered.”

Bette: Don’t worry I’m not going to ask to join you … I know that you all probably think I’m a
monster. It’s just that I have something that I need to say to Tina.

Shane: Do you want us to go?

Tina: No … if you have something to say; say it here

Bette: Tina I didn’t try to see you or call you until now because I wanted to make sure that I could do what you asked of me. I promise I am not ever going to see her again, I am not ever going to speak to her again, and I not ever going to think about her again. I miss you, more than that I need you. I don’t think that I … I don’t think that I can live without you. It is completely and totally over.

Tina: When did you end it?

Bette: This morning; I told her that you were the love of my life and that I didn’t know what I was doing and that I must have gone temporarily insane.

Tina: Did you tell her in person or on the phone?

Bette: Why does that matter?

Tina: Because I drove by the house at 2am and your car wasn’t there. Did you fuck all night before you told her I was the love of your life this morning?

“So you’re no longer pleading temporary insanity?”

“It was insanity Tee but I’m not going to make believe that I didn’t know what I was doing. As much as she came on to me and made her feelings and intentions known she still gave me the choice of how far I would take things. I’m the one that got in her car and told her to take me somewhere that first time. I was even going to use my credit card to pay for the hotel room when she stopped me and used hers. She was protecting me. She never forced herself on me. The time in my office I made the invitation, and even though she followed me she left the door open. I was the one that closed and locked it. I was the one that took her hand and pushed it into my pants. I relinquished control to her but only because I wanted to not because she took it away from me. I’m not going to insult your intelligence or the sanctity of our marriage to try to convince you or myself that my actions were driven by anything more than sex. I used Candace to try to fill a void. It just took me a while to figure out that it wasn’t working and that the only one that could do that for me was you. By the time I made that revelation there was no going back. You’d already shut the door to your heart and I no longer held the key.”

Bette: I needed to see you … you don’t want to give me anything I need OK that’s fair

Tina: Nothing’s fair Bette … you broke everything that meant anything to me

Bette: Let me fix it

Tina: No

Bette: I won’t accept that

Tina: Too bad

“I am so sorry Tee. I know I’ve said it a thousand times. I’ve begged your forgiveness a thousand times but please if you can open your heart I’m asking once again. I know I hurt you. I would do anything to take that pain away but only you can do that. I hope my openness and candor was the right approach because I’ve been carrying this burden for too long. I needed to release it as much for myself as for you.

I can’t fully answer the question of why … I’m still struggling with fully understanding it myself but I’m more focused on the ‘how’ Tina. You said that I broke everything that meant anything to you. So tell me Tina how can I fix it? How can I repair what I broke so that you can find it in your heart to forgive me? Is there any chance that we can put this behind us and move on?”