Bette waited fifteen minutes before calling Tina. She knew she said she wouldnt lie, but how could she tell Tina that Candace had stopped by? She was still unsure of what prompted Candace to be so bold as to just stop by without warning. She assumed it was because of her odd late hour call. She would have said it was a job-related reason had Tina inquired, she thought to herself. There were too many questions running through her mind. She just needed to call Tina back before she lost her nerve again. She had no idea what mood Tina would be in after the way she left, but she still needed to talk to her. Bette picked up the phone and dialed the number.

Hello?

Hi Tina. Bette said softly.

I was returning your call. Tina replied curtly.

Bette was afraid to speak. She didnt like Tinas tone and it made it harder for her to try to build a bridge, but she knew she had to try, so she swallowed hard and continued.

Im sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower. She lied.

Its okay. Tina replied casually. She got up and paced the room trying to stay grounded.

Bette walked to the bedroom and sat down. She couldnt talk to Tina from the living room. It was too fresh of a reminder of Candace being there. She wanted to focus her attention on Tina and how they could possibly resolve their differences.

Tina, I was so happy to see you last night and the time we shared was beautiful, but it was strange to wake up and not find you next to me. Bette confessed.

Tina sighed and said nothing. Bette waited before she spoke again.

At first I thought you were in the bathroom or something, but then I saw your note in the living room. I was hurt. I knew I had no right to be because I could only imagine how you must have felt and what it took for you to do what you did. Bette rambled.

Tina stopped pacing and sat on the bed. Bettes words swirled through her head and she couldnt think. She struggled with herself to respond. She wanted to just blast Bette for even using the word hurt. She couldnt possibly know what that meant, Tina thought to herself. She stood up and started pacing again.

Well, your hurt is probably temporary Bette while mine will last longer. Tina slammed Bette. Im not gonna ask you why you did it because Im sure youll have a number of excuses. Im sure Im a part of your reasons, but you know what ***** hurts?

What? Bette replied softly and cautiously.

Your cheating hurts like ***** because I just got done telling the girls how you were my first and last woman. How from the moment I met you, I wanted you and Ive made you top priority. But all that is irrelevant. What hurt the ***** most was you telling me you wanted to start a family again. Then later that night I see you and Candace making eyes at each other and you holding her hand. That ***** hurt. How could you Bette? Damn you! Tina slammed the phone down on the bed.

She needed a moment to breathe and calm down before she listened to anything Bette had to say. She took a long hard breath and picked the phone up and heard Bette talking.

I didnt mean it. Is all Tina heard.

What? Say that again.

I was saying that I didnt mean for any of this to happen. I did, I mean I do want us to start a family again. I didnt mean to hurt you.

Tina was furious. She could feel her entire body get hot. She wished Alice had not left because she felt like she needed an ally right now, but still knew she had to fight this battle alone and in her own way. She mustered up all the resolve she could and resumed talking.

You may not have meant to hurt me Bette, but you did. You may not have meant to cheat, but you did. There are a lot of things you probably didnt mean to do, but you did and until you can figure out why you did all the things you did, I cant talk to you. I

But, but. Bette interrupted. I want to work them out with you Tina. I really do. Bette pleaded. I dont want us to end. I dont want to lose you. Please help me fix the mess Ive made. Please Tina. Please!

Bette broke down in tears. She cried for Candace, for Tina, for the baby, for not being supportive; she cried for everything shed not allowed herself to cry over before. Tina heard the sobbing and her heart softened. She hadnt anticipated such a mournful response and it was eating at her, but she knew she had to stay strong. She acknowledged that she played a role in some of their relationship issues, but she knew for sure that she didnt do anything to make Bette cheat and she was not going to accept that. She fought her urge to want to see Bette to talk face to face, fearing that she might break down and become vulnerable.

I cant make you change Bette, I just cant. Tina said softly. You have to figure this one out on your own or with professional help. I cant be complacent anymore and make excuses for you or myself. I accept that you may not have meant to cheat or hurt me, but you cant just say youre sorry and think that everything will be okay. I accept that I may have hurt you by leaving last night, but I had to give you a taste of what heartache felt like for you to see me as more than just an extension of you. Or someone who can be walked on.

Youre right. Again, Im so sorry Tee, I really am.

Okay. Tina paused. I have to go now, but before I do, I need to know where things stand with you and Candace?

CANDACE! Her name rang in Bettes ear like a bell. She had temporarily forgotten about her and almost choked trying to digest hearing the name. Bettes heart beat hard in her chest as she tried to reply. She knew she couldnt wait too long or Tina would become even more angry and hurt, but she couldnt lie anymore. She had caused enough trouble and was trying to mend things and not end things. She really didnt know what to say. She knew she wanted to end things with Candace and should end things, but from her reaction to her just that morning told her that there was something very surreal about their attraction. Bette took another quick moment to think.

I havent spoken to Candace. She lied again. But I will.

I didnt ask you that. I asked where things stand between you. You talking to her doesnt tell me if its over. Tina said forthrightly.

Well, I havent had much time to talk to her. Ive been pretty distracted since the other night.

Okay. Well, I guess thats something else you need to figure out. Bye Bette.

Tina hung up the phone before Bette could reply. She didnt really want to hear anymore anyway. She just made it through the conversation without completely losing it. Although her strength was still strong, she couldnt help but still be a little weak when it came to Bette. Seven years with the same person was a long time and the feelings werent going to fade overnight. She needed to distract herself from thinking about Bette and Candace. She didnt want to be one of those girlfriends who confront the other party or do anything equally stupid. She wanted and needed answers, but she had to wait it out. She decided to go to work in spite of her current mental state. A distraction would be good for her and she hoped that no one would ask her about Bette. It would be hard for her to react positively and not reveal that they were having problems.

At Bettes

Bette put the phone down and buried her head in her hands. Every part of her body ached and she couldnt face the world today. She picked up the phone and called the office. She let her assistant know she wasnt feeling good and wouldnt be in. She said shed work from home and would be in touch later on. She went to take another shower and redress. She wanted to get the traces of Candace off of her and try to regroup and work on a game plan. She knew it would only be a matter of time before their friends noticed something was wrong and she hoped she would have something tangible in effect very soon.

After showering and redressing, Bette sat at the kitchen table and began jotting down all the things shed done wrong toward Tina. She also wrote a list of things that she felt Tina had done to her and then another on ways they could rebuild their relationship. Once she completed those lists, she wrote another one about Candace. She listed what she found attractive in her, what made their connection so strong, and how she would feel ending things between them. She made a final list of pros and cons of staying with Tina or Candace. The lists took her hours to compile. Once they were all complete, she spread them across the table. She had notes all over her lists and she looked like a scientist analyzing formulas.

She reviewed the list. Tinas pro list was long. She read some of the words out loud as if she were confirming them to herself.

Committed, strong, supportive, kind, loving, energetic, compassionate, gives 100%, loves me, blah, blah. And weve been together for seven years. Seven years! Wow! Bette sounded surprised. Now for some cons. A little needy, sells herself short, sometimes emotionally unstable, blah, blah, and. Nothing. Well, nothing that quickly comes to mind.

She was completely lost and deep in her thoughts, so deep that she didnt hear the knocking at the door.

Now, Candace. Exciting, spontaneous, not afraid to take risks, creative, and new.

She underlined the word new. She realized that that could be why the attraction was so exciting, but was it all really worth losing someone over? She thought to herself. The realization hit her hard. Whatever was missing between her and Tina could be fixed. It was a matter of more open communication, mutual respect, patience and trying new things.

The knocking got harder and louder, then Bette jumped up to answer it.

Who the ***** is knocking the door like this? She said loudly as she opened it. It was Candace. Again. !

Candace? What the ***** are you doing here again? Are you trying to get me in any more trouble than Im already in? Bette yelled.

No. No Im not. Im sorry, but you need to hear me out. Candace pleaded.

Bette was visibly pissed and trying hard not to throw Candace back out the door. She was just finding some calm and reconciliation with herself and now this.

What on earth would possess you to come back? What if Tina had come over? I can excuse your impromptu visit once, but twice. Woman, have you lost your ***** mind? Bette didnt mean to be so harsh, but couldnt help herself.

Candace was stunned. She knew that her return might stir things up, but she wasnt prepared for Bettes actual reaction.

Never mind. I m better off just leaving.

She turned to leave and Bette grabbed her arm.

No, damn it. Youll stay and tell me why the ***** youre here.

Candace leaned against the door taking a moment to gather herself.

Ive been driving around and back and forth by your house. When I came by this morning, it was out of concern because of your call. I had a feeling something had to be wrong because youve never called me before. When you told me what happened, I was upset for you and our intimacy before Tina called wasnt planned.

Whats your point Candace? Bette fumed.

Im getting there. This isnt easy for me you know.

How do you think I feel? My fling with you might have caused me to lose everything Ive built over the years, not to mention cause rifts with the friends Tina and I share. Have you any idea what that feels like?

Candace lowered her head almost embarrassed by her own selfishness, but she stood strong in her conviction for being there again.

No. No I dont know what that feels like. I dont even want to imagine it. Bette, I really am sorry for all the ***** mess, but I cant just walk away from you. I knew from the beginning that you were with someone, but I couldnt stop myself from being attracted to you. *****, youd be a liar if you said you didnt feel it too. Yolanda even noticed it, but she kept it to herself.

Bette gave Candace an eye bulging stare.

She what? She knows too?

No. Calm down. She doesnt know anything. I just picked up on her vibe that night we met. I know her. I know how she thinks. Thats all Im saying. Anyway, my point is that Ive driven around and I came back a few times. I knew you were still alone, so I took this chance to talk to you and see you again. Candace put her hand on Bettes mouth, as she was about to interrupt. Yes, I realize Im being selfish, but I just couldnt help myself. You have no idea how being with you feels to me. The impact your presence has. Tell me you dont feel it too and Ill walk away forever.