It had been a week since the opening of the Provocations exhibit. The night that had changed Tina’s life forever. She had spent the time at Alice’s talking to her three closest friends…Alice, Dana and Shane, until there was nothing left to talk about. Then she would start all over again. Through the many hours of hashing things out – the need to verbalize every thought, every feeling, every question and fear, these three women just sat and listened, gave a hug when needed and verbal support when Tina stopped long enough for them to speak.

Tina knew she needed to go back to the house and pick up her clothes. There was nothing else in that house she wanted. Her anger still had such a grip on her. She didn’t want anything to do with the home she had shared with Bette, really didn’t even want to touch anything in it. As far as she was concerned, Bette could keep, or sell it all.

As Tina lamented about this, she also realized that at some point she was going to have to reign in her anger, otherwise she would never get control of her life back. She felt that Bette had always had a lot of control in their relationship, and now because of Bette’s actions, Tina felt like she was losing what little she had left. ***** that! Bette was not going to have any more control over her, period!

She waited for a time when she knew for sure Bette wouldn’t be home, so she could pick up her things. The whole ride over, her hands were shaking and her stomach ached from the fear and anticipation. No relief came even when she pulled into the driveway and saw that Bette’s car wasn’t there. After about ten minutes, Tuna realized she had been just sitting and staring at the outside of the house. She took three deep breaths. ‘Come on Tina. You can do this!’ She got out of the car.

Once inside, Tina noticed with some satisfaction that the house was a mess. Bette, who had never been a stellar housekeeper, or cook, had clearly not tried to keep anything clean, other than putting the “to go” cartons in the garbage. Well, at least she is eating Tina observed, as the garbage was overflowing. Then she realized that there were too many cartons for just one person and she felt like the floor was falling out from under her feet.

With legs that were barely able to hold her weight, she walked through the house and wondered about all the love that was now gone from this house, along with what felt like all the oxygen as well. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath. She walked into the bedroom and stood in the doorway holding onto to the door jams. Oh God…she couldn’t stand looking at the bed she had spent so many wonderful nights (and days) in.

Tina burst into tears. The anger that had been comforting to her for the last week was now betraying her, along with every part of her body. With a loud moan…sobbing and gasping for breath, Tina sunk to the floor, still holding onto the door jams. She didn’t think that she had ever felt so much pain in her entire life.

At that moment, she knew she had to leave LA. There was no way that she could recover from this if she was constantly fearful of running into Bette. No matter how big LA was, the ***** community was notoriously small and very incestuous. Tina packed her clothes as fast as she could. She had brought along a couple of boxes, and was having trouble fitting everything in. She grabbed the three outfits that she knew Bette had always loved her in the most, and threw them on the floor. She knew she could never wear them again anyway. With that, Tina took one last look around the bedroom with tears still streaming down her face. She pulled her commitment ring out of her jeans pocket and stared at it. She had intended to leave it on the dresser for Bette, but as she stood there, she knew she wasn’t ready to give it back. Even if it ended up in a shoe box, Tina still needed to know it was there. Bette had been the one who broke the circle, not Tina, and she wanted it with her, for no other reason than to serve as a reminder of her commitment to another person.

Tina left the house and didn’t look back as she drove away.

BETTE

Bette stood in her office staring out the window. She had called Alice to make sure that Tina was OK, but hadn’t tried to talk with her directly. Bette knew that she was devastated and felt helpless, knowing there was nothing she could do to lessen Tina’s pain. The damage was already done.

Bette’s heart was in a flux. Whenever she thought about Tina, she felt love, contentment, safety…family. Whenever she thought about Candace, her heart starting beating faster, she could feel the butterflies in her stomach…feel her desire in her loins. However, even with all the physical reactions Bette felt, knew her attraction to Candace was more than sexual.

When Bette had returned home last night and noticed the garbage was full. She started to cry, thinking that she had to stop ordering food for Tina every time she ordered out. There was something really weird about that. She then discovered Tina’s clothes were missing. It was not lost on her the meaning of the three outfits on the floor. When she thought of Tina in those clothes, and how beautiful she looked, a profound sense of loss came over Bette. She felt like she had not only lost the love of her life, but that she had lost a fundamental part of her being. Rattled by the depth of that feeling, she picked up her phone and called the one person she knew could fill up part of the gaping hole in her heart.

“Hi Candace.”

“Hey Bette. How are you?”

“I am in desperate need of some loving arms around me.”

Candace’s heart jumped into her throat. Did she just hear her right? Bette was looking for comfort and she was calling her, not her closest friends? She recovered quickly.

“Well, I have two strong arms that would like nothing more than to wrap themselves around you. Why don’t you come over?”

“Give me a half and hour and I’ll be there.”

“OK.”

“Oh, and Candace?”

“Yea?”

“Thanks.”

Bette got off the phone and nearly jumped with excitement. She knew she shouldn’t be feeling this way. It felt a little disrespectful of Tina and the pain she was living with. But Bette couldn’t help herself. There was something about Candace.

She took a fast shower, put on a pair of *****, loose fitting jeans and a shirt that showed off her cleavage. She practically skipped off the porch and to her car. ‘God, Porter. You really do need to get your ***** together’, she thought as she roared off. Candace was waiting for her, standing in the door of her apartment. When Bette approached, Candace held open her arms and had a look that told Bette that this was the right choice for her…right now.

“Hi darling”, Candace said the words that came naturally to her when looking at Bette, and then held her breath to see how Bette would react. Bette looked at Candace, but didn’t say anything.

“Is it OK to call you that?”

A feeling of warmth flowed through Bette’s body.

“Oh yea, you can call me that.” Bette smiled and walked into Candace’s arms.