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    Ten Degrees of Separation – (Chapter: Chapter: The (Fe)Male Gaze or Recasting the Primal Scene, Redux; Part 5: The Cant of the Key of Blue)

    Story written on March 13, 2006 by slb04.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
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    Number of Comments: 8
    Words: 2785
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=11377
    Author Notes:

    Chapter 2, Part 5 of 5.

    Part Five: The Cant of the Key of Blue

     

    Evening was swan diving across the city as Abby mounted the three short steps of Kim’s front stoop, resolutely ignoring the irrationally heavy thump of her heart and breath that was quick in coming and slow in leaving. She’d walked up these steps almost every night for the past few weeks, this night shouldn’t be any different; but as she glanced at the passing cars, the kids on bikes racing down the cracked sidewalk, the dozens of people going about the daily routine of their Friday nights—some even with the same hopeful expression that she knew was on her own face– Abby couldn’t help but realize that despite her pretensions, something had changed.

    Apprehension born of a childhood coping with the radical push-pull daily shifts of her mother’s illness cloaked her shoulders now as she considered the woman waiting for her on the other side of the heavy oak door. Although learning the gentle curves and lean muscles of Kim’s body had consumed her over the days and nights of their affair; more than anything, it was the patient cant of the psychiatrist’s head and the depthless interest of those blue eyes as she listened that first fascinated Abby and pulled her, albeit unwillingly, into Kim’s orbit.

    She’d pushed Kim away while the psychiatrist had been treating Maggie, reacted like a recalcitrant child when Kim had tried to help bridge the decades of pain and anger and distance between mother and daughter. Kim had absorbed her spite and frustration with unnerving calm, had refused to be baited or angered the way Luka and even Carter had eventually been. In the weeks that had followed Maggie’s departure for Minnesota, Kim had quietly followed up with her, unbeknownst to Abby– until her mother had mentioned in a brief phone conversation the letters she had been sending the psychiatrist. Abby had sought Kim out… to thank her, she’d told herself– when, in the quiet part of her conscience guided by five years in AA, she knew that wasn’t exactly the case. Still, she was able to ignore the voice– the constant hum prodding her to admit the truth—until one unexpected night and a moment and a kiss that had brought her to where she was standing right now.

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    Comments

    1. My heart is in my throat…tears are running down my cheeks. This was incredible. Oh my God, my heart literally hurts! Wow!! Bravo…you really got this right. Funny, I knew it had to end this way, but I am still aching over what Abby is feeling. She may not be sorry, but that doesn’t make the pain any less. Thank you for writing this incredible story. It is one I will go back and read again.

    2. I JUST PICKED UP ON THIS STORY, AND I HAVE TO SAY, THIS IS ALOT BETTER THAN MOST OF THE BOOKS I READ!!!YOUR A GREAT WRITER, I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE!!!!!!!!

    3. My heart is in my throat…tears are running down my cheeks. This was incredible. Oh my God, my heart literally hurts! Wow!! Bravo…you really got this right. Funny, I knew it had to end this way, but I am still aching over what Abby is feeling. She may not be sorry, but that doesn’t make the pain any less. Thank you for writing this incredible story. It is one I will go back and read again.

    4. I JUST PICKED UP ON THIS STORY, AND I HAVE TO SAY, THIS IS ALOT BETTER THAN MOST OF THE BOOKS I READ!!!YOUR A GREAT WRITER, I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE!!!!!!!!

    5. Thank you so much for this story….I love how you write and you capture the complexities of connection and love and need and desire and so many other things in such a unique way.I too knew it had to end this way but the heartache I felt was unbearable, perhaps because it feels like you truly captured Abbys character……I am thinking of that quote, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and the hope was for these two that maybe it could be a lifetime when in fact it was for a reason. What wonderful hearts you gave them.

    6. Thank you so much for this story….I love how you write and you capture the complexities of connection and love and need and desire and so many other things in such a unique way.I too knew it had to end this way but the heartache I felt was unbearable, perhaps because it feels like you truly captured Abbys character……I am thinking of that quote, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and the hope was for these two that maybe it could be a lifetime when in fact it was for a reason. What wonderful hearts you gave them.

    7. Wow!!! That story was powerful, wonderous and painful all at the same time. You did an excellent job of convey all the mixed emotions that all these characters had… and the pain of unrequited love from some many perspectives.. but all with the same result. Don’t let this be the end of your writings. Keep more coming. Thanks.

    8. Wow!!! That story was powerful, wonderous and painful all at the same time. You did an excellent job of convey all the mixed emotions that all these characters had… and the pain of unrequited love from some many perspectives.. but all with the same result. Don’t let this be the end of your writings. Keep more coming. Thanks.

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