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Ten Degrees of Separation – (Chapter: Chapter: The (Fe)Male Gaze or Recasting the Primal Scene, Redux; Part 5: The Cant of the Key of Blue)
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"Even though one isn’t speaking to me and the other is acting like a child?"
"Even so," Kim answered patiently. "Give them both time. Give yourself time. Think about what you want for a change, Abby. Not everybody else."
"Don’t go all Obi-Wan-Psychiatrist on me right now."
"Okay."
"I mean it."
"Okay."
"Dammit, Kim…"
"You want to strangle me right now, don’t you?"
"No, but only because if I put my hands on you, I can’t be held responsible for what might happen to my respect for your wishes."
The still-arcing sensual awareness between them added unexpected emotional heft to what Abby had intended as a light-hearted remark, and Kim nodded in somber acknowledgment. "Then I guess…"
"This is it," Abby finished for her softly.
"Abby…"
"Don’t, Kim. Don’t say you’re sorry," she commanded, conviction threading through her voice as she lifted her chin. "Because I’m not. Not that you happened to me. Not that I happened to you. We were good together, Kim, and I’m not convinced that we still couldn’t be."
"Neither am I," Kim admitted, swallowing hard. "But…"
"She was there first, I know." Four steps separated Abby from the door, and she wondered why– for the life of her– it was so hard to make them. Forcing her reluctant body to action, Abby nonetheless still hesitated with her hand on the doorknob. "Promise me one thing."
"Name it."
"If you need anything…" Wanting to add, If you change you mind, but biting her tongue with the force of swallowing those words.
A wan smile, and a flicker of those eyes that seemed to read the subtext of Abby’s thoughts. "I will. Same goes for you too."
"I know." She twisted the knob, felt the rush of warm evening air tickle over her skin. The growing sounds of traffic filled the silence between them, an unnatural tableau in a relationship marked by the spontaneity of their physical connection. "I don’t want to leave," she confessed. "As long as I can remember, I’ve been walking out of doors, and this is the first time in my life I’ve wanted to stay." More tears threatened, but this time she ignored them, concentrating instead on the beautiful face a few feet away from her. "You gave me that. Me wanting to stay, not because of what you needed, but because of what you gave me. What being with you made me feel like– I wonder if you have any idea of how you’ve made me feel."
"I…" Kim shook her head quietly, eyes filled with astonishment and bewildered tenderness at the gift of Abby’s words to her. "I don’t know what to say."
"Nothing to say, I guess… " Abby replied softly. "Except, maybe, good-bye."
FINIS
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My heart is in my throat…tears are running down my cheeks. This was incredible. Oh my God, my heart literally hurts! Wow!! Bravo…you really got this right. Funny, I knew it had to end this way, but I am still aching over what Abby is feeling. She may not be sorry, but that doesn’t make the pain any less. Thank you for writing this incredible story. It is one I will go back and read again.
I JUST PICKED UP ON THIS STORY, AND I HAVE TO SAY, THIS IS ALOT BETTER THAN MOST OF THE BOOKS I READ!!!YOUR A GREAT WRITER, I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE!!!!!!!!
My heart is in my throat…tears are running down my cheeks. This was incredible. Oh my God, my heart literally hurts! Wow!! Bravo…you really got this right. Funny, I knew it had to end this way, but I am still aching over what Abby is feeling. She may not be sorry, but that doesn’t make the pain any less. Thank you for writing this incredible story. It is one I will go back and read again.
I JUST PICKED UP ON THIS STORY, AND I HAVE TO SAY, THIS IS ALOT BETTER THAN MOST OF THE BOOKS I READ!!!YOUR A GREAT WRITER, I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this story….I love how you write and you capture the complexities of connection and love and need and desire and so many other things in such a unique way.I too knew it had to end this way but the heartache I felt was unbearable, perhaps because it feels like you truly captured Abbys character……I am thinking of that quote, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and the hope was for these two that maybe it could be a lifetime when in fact it was for a reason. What wonderful hearts you gave them.
Thank you so much for this story….I love how you write and you capture the complexities of connection and love and need and desire and so many other things in such a unique way.I too knew it had to end this way but the heartache I felt was unbearable, perhaps because it feels like you truly captured Abbys character……I am thinking of that quote, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and the hope was for these two that maybe it could be a lifetime when in fact it was for a reason. What wonderful hearts you gave them.
Wow!!! That story was powerful, wonderous and painful all at the same time. You did an excellent job of convey all the mixed emotions that all these characters had… and the pain of unrequited love from some many perspectives.. but all with the same result. Don’t let this be the end of your writings. Keep more coming. Thanks.
Wow!!! That story was powerful, wonderous and painful all at the same time. You did an excellent job of convey all the mixed emotions that all these characters had… and the pain of unrequited love from some many perspectives.. but all with the same result. Don’t let this be the end of your writings. Keep more coming. Thanks.