“Stupid vectors.” Spencer grumbled as she tossed her pen on her math homework. Usually, she would have it done and settled by now but her head was filled with thoughts that seemed to beat the math processing part of her brain into a bloody pulp.

Her mother had joined them for dinner that night. It was the first family dinner they had had together for a long time and yet, it didn’t feel the same. She doubted it ever would. For several weeks she had seen little to no sign of Paula besides going to church together which she damn well knew was for the sake of appearances. ‘How could she be so fucking shallow?’ she wondered.

The dinner itself had been quiet and awkward, at least for Spencer. Her mother conversed regularly with Glen and Clay about school and other happenings. Her father joined in at random points, still not completely back to his old self but at least he was making the effort. She could see the pain his eyes and killed her slowly to know that it was because of love. He loved Paula so much and as even though the youngest Carlin didn’t like her mother, she wanted her dad to be happy. Maybe they could work it out in the end? Could she work it out with her own mother though?

When her mother started directing questions towards her, Spencer kept her answers brief and never made eye contact with the eyes that looked so much like her own. Her fear of the anger that was simmering beneath the surface kept her gaze on her dinner. She knew if she dared look up, she would break her composure completely and lunge at her mother for nearly destroying everything. For attempting to crush a part of her, for trying to keep her away from Ashley, for not loving her and accepting her for who she was. ‘I love my mom. I mean she’s my mother, but I don’t like who she is as a person. If I didn’t know her and then had a conversation with her I’d probably walk away from her. But I can’t. She’s family.’

Lying back on her fluffy pillows, she let out an exasperated sigh. The time span without her been had been rather peaceful since she wasn’t there to fight with her dad or mention how Ashley was the spawn of Satan in some subtle manner or another. It was amazing what a hypocrite she was. Looking back on the night that she hit her Spencer realized just what that slap meant. “You’re never home.” She was never home because she was with someone else. The slap was an attempt to silence her from saying more. Sleeping with another man behind her fathers back and then go on a tirade about values and what was expected of everyone according to her religious indoctrinations.