“We should head back to the party,” she sighed, figuring I didn’t have an immediate response to what she’d said.  

I was in shock – not just shock but total panic, like I knew I had one chance and one chance only to say something that would change everything; that would get us together rather than keep us apart.  If she moved on it’d break me, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.  My lips parted and no words came out, and as I caught that look of disappointment in her eyes I knew I’d broken her heart and quite possibly mine too.

She stared at me for a moment, that disappointed look in her eyes becoming blurred through tears, and then she turned her back to me and started walking away.

“Spence’, wait!” I cried from out of nowhere.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had rushed forward and grabbed her hand to spin her round to face me.  She tried to pull away from me but I gripped her fingers so tight it was as if the world would end if I ever let go.  My other hand rose to her chin and lifted it to the point she had no choice but to look me in the eye.

“What if I said I didn’t want you to get over me?” I asked.  “What then?”

Her brow furrowed in confusion, but she stopped pulling away from me.

“What are you saying?” she whispered.  She just stood motionless, searching my eyes for any clues as to what I was thinking or feeling.  I noticed her hand was squeezing mine as tight as my grip held hers, and it gave me the surge of confidence I needed to continue.

“When we kissed, how did it make you feel?” I asked hurriedly, feeling that somewhere along the line there was a point I was aiming for.

“You already know how I feel,” she stated, the hope vanishing from her expression.  She just looked at me like I was wasting her time.

“No – I mean – right in that moment how did it make you feel?” I continued desperately.

“Quit playing games with me Ashley,” she sighed.

“I’m not!” I cried.