Oh man…What did I just do? I kissed her. I placed my lips on hers, I let her tongue go into my mouth then I invited her over? What the fuck, Ashley?! I don’t love her anymore, right? Or is that what I am just telling myself these days. I mean seriously I don’t even know her anymore and I kissed her. The sad thing is if I had it to do over…I would totally do again.

I didn’t get much sleep that night. Images of Ashley and I were poisoning my mind. Why would she do that? I laid in my bed and looked at the clock, 9:00 am. I still had an hour until Ashley would be home. Maybe it’s not such a good idea…Maybe Aiden was right. No, he didn’t know what we had, it can’t just be over. And what about yesterday, that had to mean something. She still loves me. Or maybe she was lonely? Oh my God! Why is this so hard?! I got dressed and made sure I looked really good. Probably not a good idea to show up right at 10:00 so I waited about an hour. I got in my car and headed to Ashley’s.

I got home from recording at nine and I wasn’t sure if Spencer would come over at all. I cleaned the house up a little and prepared for what I would say to her. I had to tell her this was foolish and it had to end now. If she is around I know all I will want is her. I can’t let that happen again so I think it’s wrong if we’re together. At the same time I couldn’t even get the words out when I was practicing in front of a mirror, how was I supposed to say it to her face. I heard a car pull up and for a split second I thought about hiding. I sat on the couch casually and when she knocked I sighed and went to open the door. We were back at that awkward stage. She didn’t know what to say, and of course I didn’t. It’s either now or never. Come on, Davies you can do this, just don’t look into her eyes. Her bright blue gonna-melt-if-I-look to-hard-in-them-eyes. Ah shit, I was already screwed.