Her mother’s strong, warm hand was clasped tightly in her own. Paula smiled reassuringly at her daughter, silently urging her to say grace. Closing her eyes, Spencer automatically recited words that praised a God she no longer understood. She smiled, feigning interest in dinner’s conversation, desperately trying not to think about lying in Ashley’s bed, one sun-kissed hand briefly covering hers, changing everything. Clinking forks, light laughter, her father’s loving smile, all surrounded her, attempting to envelope her in familiar warmth. Shivering, she silently prayed, this time begging God to make it enough again.

I turned around

Before I could run

I found you already settled down

In the back of my mind

It didn’t matter that her eyes were open. Her mind didn’t need darkness to replay this afternoon’s confusingly frustrated scenes. Overlaying densely typed words printed on almost translucent paper, sepia memories ran their course. Spencer’s face darkened, her body responding to a touch she still felt hours later where her flesh had been singed. Their teasing always went too far now, just as likely to fill their moments together with awkward silence as lingering glances. Unbidden, Ashley’s face faintly appeared, tinged brown in her mind’s eye. Tanned fingers reached tentatively towards her lips, tips tracing lightly along smooth, tongue dampened skin. Starting, Spencer blushed darker as she lowered her own shaking hand back to the leather bound dictionary in her lap. Blurred eyes blinked as they focused on the one word that chance had drawn her fingertip to, defining her.

I know this is just a customary fever

The moon is our deceiver

That will leave you running blind

Mesmerized by the sound of gentle waves crashing into themselves, Spencer pulled her bare arms under Ashley’s worn blanket, burrowing into its warmth. She’d tried turning away so many times, but she was pulled like the tides to her light. Ashley danced in dark waters, skin pale in faint moonlight. She flowed out the waves, dripping and ethereal. Spencer watched breathless as she neared, white tank forming an almost non-existent second skin. She would never forget the feeling of Ashley’s hand in hers pulling her to her feet or the slight rustle of fabric as it pooled around her. Hand in hand, they ran, chased by moon cast shadows intertwining on the soft sand beneath them.